The Welcome Message

"Hello, Personal Middle Names Family, you have been chosen to rule the Americans and be administered the Elixir of Immortality. For as long as your civilization endures you will rule the Americans as their nigh unquestioned Empress-goddess, and can only die by **** or starvation, and in the case of **** not by the will or hand of any current or former member of your own citizenry, with the exception of your own children, more on that in a minute..."

"Your people were nomads, wandering with the seasons but have finally settled in the Delaware River region of North America and begun to create a true civilization. They have knowledge of Alphabet, Horseback Riding, Irrigation, Mining, And Roads."

"You are aware of certain details that your citizens are not, such as the fact that there are fifteen other individuals like yourself out there in the world, and like you, they have been made the immortal leaders of a rival civilization. Also, you can only have children with such an individual, though their gender is unimportant, and when you do, the child will grow up to be like their parents and at 21 years of age vanish to become the ruler of a group of barbarians in some unoccupied area of the world and begin a new civilization. This is why your own children can kill you/have you killed: because they will be rulers of a rival civilization and would be at a distinct disadvantage against you if you could kill them but they could not kill you."

"You also know something distressing about the personality of people such as yourself: those who have been administered the Elixir of Immortality, sooner or later, will become greedy, grasping, power-hungry, ruthless, and vindictive individuals, and you, though you may try to fight it, will eventually be no exception. The best way to stave off this change is keeping your advisers close and to do that, you have to have sex with them because one side-effect of the Elixer of Immortality is that any woman who takes it has her Skene’s glands not only fully regenerate at the genetic level, but, in fact, enhance; becoming hyper-productive and easily stimulated so that every orgasm will cause her to 'squirt' at least a little bit. These secretions have the power to pass on a small portion of her immortality to the person who caused the orgasm through 'mucosal contact', such as the mouth, vulva, glans of the penis, or (if you're into that sort of thing,) the inside of the nose or rectum... Only the person who stimulated the orgasm which produced the emission can benefit from it, though this could include things like looking at a supermodel's picture while you Jill-Off into a cup or the like, however, your magic girl-cum has some drawbacks. While it makes those that consume it un-aging for a thousand years and resistant to disease and injury, (especially cancer, it is the first known surefire cure for cancer:) if a person once takes a dose, they must take another at least once a year or they will age to **** within one year thereafter. Furthermore, even if they get their doses yearly or better for a thousand years, they still will age and die over the next decade thereafter, no matter what..."

"But enough about your magic Girl-Cum, time to discuss the state of your realm. You start the game with two worker units, a settler, and an explorer, note that the explorer cannot be re-created until you research Seafaring, making them an especially valuable and limited resource in the early days of your realm. The workers and settler also are special in that they have no home city and so require no upkeep, which is valuable, but more importantly will not be lost if any of your cities are conquered except the last one, meaning as long as you protect them they can keep building improvements for you for as long as your civilization stands. You should probably send the explorers out exploring looking for villages/goodie-huts to find technologies and advanced units in, while using the settlers to found a new city, perhaps on the site of what you know as Pitsburg? The workers meanwhile should improve your capital of Philadelphia with mines, irrigation, and roads, bringing in extra production shields, food, and trade arrows respectively, the last of which converts into treasury units, research points, or luxury boxes based on your current tax rate settings. Your current government is despotism, which can have a tax rate no higher than 50% in any one area. Taxes Are currently set to 50/50 treasury and science with no luxuries, you would be well advised to change this ASAP, increasing luxury spending to at least 20% until you have some religious/entertainment buildings in each city and/or happiness increasing wonders to keep your citizens content."

"Hail, Personal Middle Names Family, may your reign over the Americans endure forever!"