The Viper and the Lab Rat

The sight that greets you as you walk in the front door has your fingers instantly pinching the bridge of your nose, a soft groan escaping your lips as you wonder how on this earth or any other you got stuck with such a lovely group of women who at the same time cause you the greatest of unearthly headaches.

Sure enough, standing in the center of the entrance court yard is Dr. Stein, one of her palms slapped flat against her face as she howls in laughter that couldn’t possibly belong to a sane person, “AHAHAHAHAHA! Medusa! Is that you!? BWAHAHAHAHA! You look ridiculous!”

Hovering a few feet away from Stein is the aforementioned serpent woman, her tiny fists balled up tightly as her serpentine features gleam through with distaste and rage, “Shut up Stein! I can still kill you, you lab rat so shut your ignorant trap!”

Steins gradually laughter pulls itself under a reasonable amount of control but nothing can seem to quell her megawatt grin, the murky musk of her smoke coming out with each brief chuckle and sharp tongued word as she speaks with a mocking smile, “Really Medusa? You used to be a big bad cobra and all I see right now is a little garter snake with no venom. Even a lab rat like me could take you down.”

Medusa fumes even more, her temper rising as her face becomes an almost comedic shade of furious crimson, “I’ll show you, you nuts and bolts bitch! Vector Arrow!”

With a few quick movements of her hand a wide swath of miniature black arrow snakes swarm from Medusa’s black cloaked back, the small but razor sharp weapons striking out with a blurring speed as Stein simply stands there with a grin. You are about to speak up and cut Medusa off from her attack but you are frozen as Stein smoothly and silently falls into an attacking stance, her hands pressed together at the wrists moments before she thrusts them out towards the incoming swarm, “Two Palm Soul Menace: Twin Spear!”

With wide eyes you watch in wonder as what appears to be a massive **** of electrical energy bursts from Stein’s palm, her powerful offensive attack countering Medusa’s and rending her Vector Arrows all but useless. As Medusa’s attack crumbles around her Stein calmly stands into her usual posture, one hand sliding into the pocket of her lab coat while the other grabs the butt of her cigarette for a nice deep drag, “Face it Medusa, I’m going to win this round.” With a soft chuckle Stein’s eyes travel across the courtyard, from the pride shattered Medusa to the gawking women of your household, and all the way to you, “Well, well, well…it looks like my prize showed up just in time.”

It is these words that snap you back to reality, Steins rather ‘complicated’ gaze and her slow and sauntering walk towards you pulling your voice from your mouth, “Stein-san, I would appreciate it if you didn’t start a fight in my house…with one of my wives of all people.”

The reminder of Medusa’ status in your life seems to wound Stein but she is quick to recover, her body stopping to stand before yours as she nods, “Yes I understand and I apologize John-kun but really I didn’t start it…and please, as I’ve said before call me Frankie, or Frankie-chan if you prefer~”

Ignoring Frankie’s obvious attempt at flirtation you shake your head, “So you are saying that you just happen to have one hell of an evil grin earlier when I mentioned Medusa for no reason?”

Shrugging Frankie takes a light puff of her cigarette, “I won’t lie and say I wasn’t looking forward to messing with her but I didn’t do anything-“

“Th-That’s a lie!” a sudden voice cuts into your conversation, the squeaky tone of a pleading Medusa hopping into your conversation as the miniature serpent witch zooms around Stein’s head and latches onto your collar, “Y-You have to believe me Johnny-kun, I didn’t start anything…Stein is just trying to make me look bad!”

“Heh, as if you need any help with that snake,” Stein mutters, something that causes Medusa to round on her.

“Shut it rat slut,” Medusa hisses, her poisonous tone enough to reduce weaker beings to their knees.

Stein however simply smirks, that crazy grin on her lips only serving to reflect the tint of madness in her eyes, “Make me viper bitch.”

“Rodent Whore!”

“Naka Nutjob!”

“Maniac Mouse!”

“Python Pervert!”

“SHUT UP!” Your voice echoes throughout the courtyard, both women turning to you and clapping their traps shut as you let off a hissing breath of frustration, if this was the first five minutes of them being at home in the same house…you needed to put a stop to this now and for good!