The Tournament begins

"Still no luck finding Fox-Bitch?" Fenri asked as Varrick returned to the bar, Daria happily clinging to his right arm and enjoying their "date" for the day. Next to her, Verdi was happily fiddling with a crank on the side of a steel box, singing a song under his breath and rotating the crank at a constant rate. Jutting out of the end of the box was a glass lens while the other end had a large slot with an oversized wheel sticking out of it that spun to his hand. Sitting next to him was Citrinas and Fenri, the pair focused more on the strange box Verdi was holding than the many naked bodies or the deafening moans filling the bar. As usual, Citrinas wore a veil over her face to conceal her identity while Fenri and Verdi were too shameless to even wear basic masks to hide themselves.

"No... Verdi, what is that box?" Varrick asked as Belsach appeared from the shadows, slapping the paladin on the back. An audible clang reverberated through the bar as an imprint of Belsach's hand appeared on the back of Varrick's armor.

"That's the fruits of me and Champ's partnership!" Belsach said with pride, startling Varrick as he walked to Verdi and threw his arm around the alchemist's shoulxer. "Course, Champ's been a better partner than me." He said as Verdi stopped cranking the strange box and looked to Belsach, shocked at the proclamation.

"I've just been playing in a lab making film and drawing funny pictures. You're the one making the dream work." He said as Varrick waited for the punch line. Instead, he groaned to find that the pair had a mutual respect for one another despite the differences in status. It seemed the only thing that transcended race, status, or age was degeneracy.

"Champ, you're the one who made the blueprints. I'd just be jerking myself off if you weren't around." He said as Daria groaned, disgusted to see Belsach in such a good mood.

"Why don't you two just get a room already?" Daria asked, outright repulsed by the camaraderie they shared.

"Good idea. Champ, when we finish, let's get a room and spitroast a broad, my treat. I'll even give you first crack at the cunt." Belsach offered as Varrick cleared his throat to get everyone's attention.

"You do realize that we all have a job to do, right? You know, find the reanimated corpse of Tristiana? Find Eren and find out what the hell happened 7 years ago?" Varrick asked, slightly annoyed to see most of the party fixated on their random hobbies rather than their main quest. He knew Fenri was just out to amuse herself, but he was slightly shocked to find Verdi and Citrinas had seemingly forgotten why they were traveling and were content talking about their little contraptions. As annoying as it was to have his entire party treating their journey as a field trip, he felt a tinge of nostalgia as he thought back to his youth traveling with Eren. Mathias would spend everyday looking for new magic swords to play with, Isoldi was busy trying to meet with local guilds to make money, and Eren was off doing whatever it is he wanted.

"We've established we can't track down Fox-bitch, and our best bet is to win the prizes or stalk the winners. Might as well as have fun and make money while we're waiting, right?" Verdi asked, his words causing Daria and Varrick to wince as Belsach perked up. Instantly, Varrick was reminded of a certain hero's philosophy as Belsach walked over and slapped Verdi on the back.

"I knew you were a man among men when we met!" Belsach said, overjoyed to have someone who shared his and Eren's philosophy of the world as Daria let out a dry chuckle.

"Wish Isoldi were here. Would be great to see her cry tears of blood watching you two burn another fortune." Daria said with a sigh, imagining the hero of commerce screeching bloody **** at Belsach's latest entrepreneurial pursuit.

"This one is gonna soar dammit! It's not like the other ones!" Belsach exclaimed indignantly.

"Other ones?" Fenri asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Belsach and Eren used to have weird ideas for businesses that kept flopping. All of their earnings from the mercenary contracts went into whatever stupid idea Eren had that day." Varrick explained, unable to describe his current emotions as he thought of Eren's many failed businesses. On one hand, his head throbbed whenever he thought over the vast fortunes the hero of the hearth burned pursuing random ideas his old teacher had taught him. On the other hand, those very business ideas had pumped money into areas devastated by the war and gave the orphans the Company picked up a place to be safe and learn a trade. Varrick couldn't help but smile as he thought back to the day Eren picked him, Mathias, and Isoldi up from the battlefield.

The three of them were half starved and had broken into the Company of Roses' food supplies hoping to steal a meal and some items to sell after Belpan wiped out most of the town on a whim. When Eren caught them, they expected to be killed or sold as slaves. They were half right. After he had them cleaned, they were dragged to the kitchens, fed a hearty meal to the point of bursting, then forcibly conscripted to learn how to bake the weird fruit cake he was trying to sell as part of his latest business. According to Eren, the dessert was a snack his old mentor would make after they sparred to keep morale high. The ingredients were simple enough to acquire since they only needed to harvest grains and fruits from common Verdure monsters, but the flavor was quite average. They'd tried to tell Eren to add things like milk, butter, eggs, or even honey to improve the flavor, but he stubbornly refused to change the recipe his mentor gave him. Unsurprisingly, the company flopped since there were other desserts that tasted better. Despite it being one of MANY failed businesses Eren had over the years, Varrick held a fondness over that dessert, remembering the distinct name to this day.

"Hey! They weren't stupid! Eren was just too ahead of the times!" Belsach exclaimed, still unable to accept that Eren was not hero of commerce material.

"What were his other ideas?" Citrinas asked, suddenly interested as Belsach grinned, his smiling face enough to curdle milk and cause children to cry.

"We made beds that had springs in them so they'd bounce when you sat on them. We had this steam powered cart that would run on rails. Then there was the time we tried to open a brewery. I still sell the beer we made in the bar from that venture." He said as Daria cut in.

"Your fucking mattress idea with the metal springs costed too much to make, the weird steam cart exploded unless someone was actively reinforcing the steel, and do I really need to explain your brewery idea?" She asked, Belsach's grin crumpling into a distorted scowl as he eyed the nearby customers grimace when they drank down his beer. None of them enjoyed drinking the beer, and seemed to down it solely to be ****. Some even dared to smuggle outside liquor to drink rather than swallow the vile swill Belsach sold.

"Isoldi says she still has night terrors of trying to calculate the losses on the brewery." Varrick added, still remembering the hero of commerce waking up in a cold sweat thinking about how much Eren had spent buying grains, hiring workers to construct a facility, and moving fuel to the frigid northern town in the middle of a siege by the Lich King. Despite Eren's idiotic spending causing the company to live on cheap bread until the next job, nobody voiced the slightest complaint at the time. The brewery kilns were a stable source of heat for the local residents and the leftover grains from that venture was able to feed them until spring came. The building itself was eventually converted to emergency housing for those who lost their homes in the battle. To this day, the locals brew an annual kettle of Eren's terrible beer and down it to honor him. Unsurprisingly, the recipe was also given to him by his mentor and could not be altered to suit any palate but Erin's.

"My beer's not that bad!" Belsach said indignantly as Fenri grabbed a mug and took a mouthful. As soon as the thick drink touched her tongue, she made a **** sound before grabbing Verdi by the shirt.

"The fuck are-mph!" He said, only to have Fenri kiss him on the lips and **** him to drink the remaining beer still in her mouth, her body rejecting the prospect of swallowing such a toxic substance while her mind found the thought of spitting it up uncouth. The taste of freshly cut grass, butter, and a weird, almost meaty flavor hit Verdi as he was **** to swallow the chunky fluid, almost having to chew on it before swallowing. Once her mouth was emptied, Fenri put Verdi down while wiping her tongue on her forearm.

"Fuck me. I'd say your beer tastes like dick, but even I wouldn't insult Verdi like that." Fenri said as Verdi smacked his lips, the beer somehow clinging to his mouth like a slime.

"I feel like someone just jizzed in my mouth." He noted, the viscosity of the beer closer to semen than beer.

"You too champ!?" He asked as Citrinas took the mug and moved her veil aside to gingerly sip it. Instantly, she winced while whimpering as though somebody had punched her.

"I'm with Fenri. Verdi tastes a thousand times better." She concluded as Belsach patted Verdi on the back.

"Wow Champ, you must have the most delicious cock in the world!" He declared, still in denial over the quality of his beer.

"It has a nice floral taste, but I wouldn't say it's the best thing I've had in my mouth." Citrinas elaborated.

"I'd say he ranks number one in cocks, but it's still a dick in the end." Fenri added, also giving her critique on the taste of Verdi's shaft.

"Can we please stop taking about how Verdi's genitals taste?" Varrick asked with a weary voice.

"Hey, our first batch if beer was delicious! We just needed to find a way to repeat the process, a way to make glass that wasn't full of lead, a way to keep the beer from going bad when we shipped it..." Belsach said, his voice petering out as he listed out the numerous issues with his beer.

"I think I can resolve your issues. I know a few tricks on brewing liquor." Verdi said as Fenri chuckled under her breath.

"Fuck Verdi, you sure you're a guy?" She asked mockingly as Verdi scowled at her.

"The fuck are you talking about?" He snapped back as Fenri chuckled at him.

"Brewing is a woman's job." She said as Verdi shook his head.

"You're... You're lying. You're just trying to fuck with me." He said with an uncertain voice as Fenri laughed harder at him.

"You gonna take up knitting next?" She asked as Citrinas chimed in.

"Well, artificers can also enchant clothing, and weapons made from scratch are stronger so..." Her voice trailed off as Verdi interrupted her.

"Beer brewing isn't a woman's job, it's a man's job!" Verdi said indignantly as Belsach patted him on the back.

"Ignore these bastards, Champ. Eren and I think brewing is manly." He reassured as Varrick sighed.

"Look, we can talk later. For now, we need to head to the Coliseum for the first round." He said, hoping to keep the party focused as Daria clung to his arm. Belsach snapped his fingers in realization as he looked to Verdi.

"Champ, how much film did you make?" He asked eagerly, staring at the movie camera Verdi was fiddling around with earlier.

"Enough to record 10 days. Stored all of it in one of your dungeon's rooms." Verdi answered as Belsach looked to one of his minions. Several minutes later, 5 dozen goblins returned carrying massive wheels of film sealed in steel casing, each one capable of recording several hours of footage.

"Damn Champ. That's a lot of film." Belsach noted, praising Verdi's month of nonstop work. Since alchemist classes had a high magic capacity and Verdi's odd biology meant he didn't need to sleep, he had ample time to work.

"Just make sure to keep the film away from fire. One spark and the entire bar's going to go up in smoke." Verdi said, looking around for the slightest trace of fire. Luckily, Belsach's bar was illuminated with magic artifacts that generated their own light, the dungeon's ambient magic keeping the dungeon lit at all times.

"Of course Champ. I'm not gonna forget the warnings you gave. I'm gonna store the film in a safe, secure place." Belsach reassured as they left the bar as a group. As they walked through the vast sandstone roads enduring the overbearing sunlight, Fenri grabbed Verdi's shoulder.

"Hey, Verdi, how's the tournament work?" She asked.

"So, it's 7 days and everyone fights once a day. Doubles event is at the end of the day, and if your partner's unable to join you can fight alone. If you lose any event you're sent to the loser's bracket. Lose again and you're out. If you win all loser bracket fights, you can compete for first place again. No restrictions on doubles or duelist events, but magic caster event bans use of spirit."

"Simple enough. Who am I fighting today?" Fenri asked.

"Some guy named Alzori, Sword of the South if I remember right." Verdi answered after a second of thinking, searching his memories for the tournament match ups. Everyone except himself and Fenri had fancy names or titles. Daria was the Lord of the Vampires, Sarah and Bey were the Beasts of Hell, and so forth. In hindsight writing Fenri down as Hero of the Hunt would have been the logical choice, but that would leave him as the only person without a fancy title.

"Neat. So who are you fighting for the first round?" Fenri asked as Verdi rubbed his chin, trying to remember the tournament matchup.

"Someone named Evangeline the Angel Lord." He answered after a second of thought. The second he spoke of his first opponent, Varrick and Belsach stopped walking to stare at him in disbelief.

"... You're kidding." Varrick said as Verdi shook his head.

"No, I know the first round I'm fighting is against a lady named Evangeline the Angel Lord." He answered flatly as a flurry of goblin curses escaped Belsach's mouth. as he grabbed Verdi's shoulder, his face grim as he spoke. To Verdi's surprise, he was able to understand every word Belsach said, even identifying the distinct tribe the goblin hailed from.

"Surrender the second you enter. The Collector is NOT something you can handle." Daria said, just as pale as Belsach and Varrick. Soon, Citrinas' face paled as she heard the word Collector. She looked to Daria then to Varrick as she spoke in a hushed whisper.

"... The Collector is actually real?" She asked with a nervous voice, only worrying Verdi further. All of them had far greater experience in combat and in the world than him, so seeing everyone panic was making him panic.

"Uh, Citrinas, what exactly do you know about the Collector?"

"My parents told me if I didn't do my work the Collector would snatch me up and stuff me in her box forever." Citrinas said flatly, her answer only arousing more questions from Verdi. The fact that everyone winced when she referred to the Collector's box was further proof that Verdi's luck was terrible. The only person in the group unfazed by Citrinas' words was Fenri, who was treating this with the same dismissiveness she treated everything.

"She's real and so is her box. Do NOT fight her." Daria warned as Fenri groaned, her patience at its limit.

"Stop worrying, you'll be fine." She reassured as Verdi shook his head.

"When Varrick, Citrinas, and Belsach are telling me to watch out for a creepy lady out to stuff me in her box, I think I should heed their warnings." Verdi said as Fenri patted him on the head like a puppy.

"Win the fight and I'll stuff you in my box." She offered, her prize for winning worth slightly more than useless considering they already had sex on a daily basis. Had Verdi not been actively suppressing his virility, he had no doubt Fenri would have children in the triple digit range by now. Sensing the tension, Fenri looked to the rest of the party and rolled her eyes. "Come on. How bad can she be?" She asked as Citrinas spoke up.

"She's the Angel Lord!" She exclaimed indignantly as Fenri gasped.

"Wow, so Evangeline the Angel Lord is, in fact, the Angel Lord? Incredible!" Fenri said with false awe before looking to Verdi. "Hey, what the fuck's a Lord?" She asked, still unfamiliar with Ruyanei's local languages. Verdi prepared to answer her, only to find that he was also drawing a blank on the specifics of what a Lord was. He knew it was a term of royalty of some sort, but he didn't know anything more than that.

"I dunno. All I know is that Mathias killed a lord once. The Vampire Lord... Beldr? Belphegor?" Verdi said, unable to remember the distinct name of the Vampire Lord that called his brother a virgin due to the Colchik pumping through his veins at the time.

"Belpan." Daria corrected, her voice slightly tinged with pride as she showed her fangs.

"Right. So what are Lords?" Fenri asked as Varrick sighed.

"I thought I told you this already." He said with a weary voice, as though this were a common occurrence.

"You told me this when I didn't know how to speak this language you stupid oaf!" Fenri snapped back, switching languages midsentence as Varrick sighed.

"Monster Lords are the most powerful members of a monster's respective species, and each one of them has the blessings of a dark god. For all intents and purposes, Lords are the equivalent of a hero." Varrick explained as Verdi shifted nervously in place. He might have been a former hero, but he didn't have any of the blessings of his past life nor did he have memories he could rely on. The only reason he beat Fenri was because he was lucky and that Fenri was mind controlled. If this was a fair fight against the strongest angel in the world empowered by some dark god, he had no doubt he'd lose.

"The Angel Lord Evangeline. What's her specialty?" Verdi asked, feigning courage as everyone glared at him.

"Healing and life magic are the only magics she uses." Citrinas answered as Verdi raised an eyebrow.

"That's it?" He asked with a startled voice. Healing and life magic didn't sound too bad, and ice magic had to be slightly better considering it had some offensive use. Fighting someone who was solely defensive might be helpful. "No holy magic?" He asked with a hopeful voice.

"No. She can only use life and healing magic." Belsach said, the usually carefree goblin dead serious as he spoke. "Seriously Champ, next round surrender and go into the loser bracket. The woman's near unkillable with that absurd healing of hers." He said as Verdi and Fenri shared a smug look of arrogance. Healing and resilience was the one thing Verdi had in surplus.

"Great. I think I can take her." He said, his one ability likely outclassing Evangeline's. While she needed magic to heal herself, he could just heal himself automatically. There was no way he could lose if she was only out to outlast him.

"Fuck yeah you can!" Fenri said while slapping him on the back. "Go fuck that bitch and get me that magic knife!" She said, still interested in the second place prize.

"Stop giving him false hope!" Varrick scolded.

"You guys really need to be more supportive." Verdi said with a cheery voice, content to know that his first fight was going to be a walk in the park. An angel with healing magic and life magic. What was she gonna do? Heal him to ****?

"You need to be more realistic!" Citrinas snapped as Verdi waved dismissively at her.

"Don't worry, I'll surrender when things look bad. For now, I need to find a wooden cart and a few barrels of water." He said, realizing the major issue with fighting in the desert city of Olskroya. He rubbed a bead of sweat from his brow as Belsach and Daria glared at him with growing concern.

"... Champ, why do you need water?" Belsach asked, noticeably worried as Verdi answered him.

"Oh, I only know how to use ice magic and I'm not a hero, so I can't use inventory to carry water around." Verdi answered while pointing to his belt where a water skin was attached. He carried two liters of water on him at any given moment in case of emergencies, but more water never hurt for spellcasting. Upon hearing his explanation, Daria sighed while looking to Varrick with equal parts fatigue and exasperation.

"... Varrick, dear, I love you, but I think your choice in companions could use some work." She said flatly as Citrinas gave her two cents on the matter, the arch imago maintaining eye contact with Verdi as she spoke.

"Don't even think about fighting her, just surrender." She said as Fenri rolled her eyes at everyone.

"Ah fuck these bastards. Come on Verdi, let's go buy a cart and a wheelbarrow." She said while grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away from the party.

"Why the wheelbarrow?" Verdi asked with a confused voice, unsure of how he'd even push a cart and a wheelbarrow at the same time.

"Cart's to carry your water. Wheelbarrow's to carry your massive fucking pair of balls. Since you beat me, that means you're the strongest now." She said, hyping Verdi up for his first match in the magic caster tournament. Though seeing everyone tell him he was outmatched and facing certain **** was putting a damper on his mood, it wasn't like he couldn't surrender when things were going downhill. The second he tapped twice on the arena with his hands, said he surrendered, or even wrote he surrendered, the match would end and any continued aggression would lead to his opponent being disqualified and restrained by the tournament's guards. All in all, he wasn't in danger of being killed or stuffed in a box like Citrinas warned.