The Stakeout

“Great. See you there.”

I hung up.

Alright. Everything seemed to be advancing correctly.

I reminded Maddy to be at the location at the right time. There was no room for fuckups here.

I was already heading there myself, in my car. I needed to be there a little earlier to meet up with Hayley.

Whew. That call Lana made to her sister… It was almost perfect.

Maybe I should have rewarded her with an orgasm?

Nah. I can’t hand those out every single time they obey my orders. Only on special occasions.

Maybe if she finishes the task I gave her for tonight… Well, that remains to be seen.

But let’s deal with this motherfucking lawyer bitch first.

I entered the abandoned storagehouse. It was on the outskirts of the town.

Yeah, yeah. It was a very cliché location for a “secret meeting” such as this.

But why not? It’s not like I was trying win an Oscar with this plan or something.

This place was everything you could hope for and more. Thankfully there weren’t any bums squatting here. That could have complicated things.

I took off my backpack, laying it right on the middle of the cement floor.

“Good. You’re here,” I suddenly heard a voice echo from behind me.

There she was. Stepping closer to me in her lawyerly high heels and professional attire.

Why didn’t I see Hayley when I came in? Did she already find a good hiding place among this mess? Was there another entrance? …Yeah, that probably.

She opened up the leather suitcase bag that she always took everywhere with her, and handed me a bunch of papers.

“Those are the ‘secret inside knowledge’ stuff you managed to ‘find out’ about Maria. It’s good stuff. Will definitely throw the feds off the trail for a month or two.”

There was… a lot. I didn’t have time to read these. And something told me that it would be pointless.

“Off the trail?” I carefully asked.

“Yeah yeah. So, where is the exact meeting spot?”

Fuck.

Perhaps I should try again?

Nah. Too suspicious.

“Over there. By that dumpster,” I pointed.

“Geez. What a romantic spot. Honestly. Fucking Christ. An agent picked this spot? I don’t think even movies and TV are this cliché anymore.”

Yeah, yeah. Fuck you. Not the point.

“Fine then,” she continued. “Maybe the best spot for the camera would be…” she scanned the area like a drone. “Right there.”

She pointed to a small corner that was covered by boxes.

“Camera? So… you’re not gonna-“

“Yeah, of course I’m not going to be here myself. Do you think this is Scooby Doo or something? Me lifting my head from behind the boxes? This is so much more efficient. If she happens to see the camera, I can just quickly drive away, no covers blown. I have a monitor and remote control in my car. All I need is a good shot of the face and bam, that’s it. We’ll find out who the bitch is. Or if we don’t…”

She didn’t finish the sentence. The obvious other choice was that she was no FBI agent at all, and I was just conning everybody. Imagine that.

Without further ado, she began placing the camera around the boxes so it was both expertly hidden and got the widest possible shot of the area.

Thank God I came into Lana’s throat a couple of times before this. The way she was bending over while adjusting that thing, they way I could see the clear shape of her bubble butt through those jeans…

I could have some real trouble controlling myself.

“So…” I stepped closer to her. “How does this thing go? I just hand this to her?”

“Yeah. Tell her to read it. If she asks what’s in them, say ‘money stuff’.” She got up, and sighed. “Yeah okay. I should probably inform you better on these, if she plans to ask you further questions about them. Like where you got it and stuff. Yeah. The sooner the better. Tell you what. After this is over, and if everything works out, come find my car. I’m two buildings to the west. We’ll go over everything. Okay?”

“Okay.”

“Just… Be careful where you step around here, okay? The leathers seats in my Benz are quite expensive, I wouldn’t want your… Well, your unique style all over them, okay?”

The way she looked down on me while saying that… I wanted to-

No. Keep it together, Jack.

She’ll be yours by the end of the night.

“So, uh, do you do this stuff a lot? I mean… You seem to know how to work that camera.”

She gave me a questioning look. Perhaps the question was too direct.

“Sometimes.”

Oh yeah. She was definitely clamming up.

Another approach.

“I guess… working with Maria Diamanti can be quite… interesting, right?”

“Aha.” She was focusing on adjusting the camera again.

“… I guess I should say thanks?”

“Thanks… for what?” she asked.

“Yesterday. For saving my life. When you made Maria stop.”

That made Hayley look oddly uncomfortable.

“Don’t mention it.”

“So do you… Do you think that… Maria could’ve actually killed me? Choked me to ****? Just like that? In her office?”

Hayley sighed and got up.

“Listen Jack. I really don’t want to talk about this. But fine. Just this once.”

Hayley’s expression turned dead serious.

“The bitch is a fucking psycho. Never cross her again, okay? She’s capable of… stuff. Like… Okay some people just disappear. You’re free to make your own conclusions about that. ”

“Like… Giovanni?” I dropped the name of her ex-husband in the air.

“That’s the one everyone knows about,” Hayley said ominously.

Fuck.

“So why the Hell do you work with such a person?” I asked, a bit more angrily than I was intending.

“Well, why do you? I’ve got a lifestyle I’m accustomed to. My job is to make sure there’s no stupid accidents like your lifeless body in her office.”

Um…

And this person just called someone else a psycho?

These two deserved each other. Their union was almost Satanic.

Hayley went back to her camera. I took some steps away from her, trying my best to act like what she just said didn’t shake me to my core.

But it did.

I was happy that it did.

We got here way too early. Hayley finished with the camera about an hour ago and left, leaving me to lean against the dumpster. The bitch didn’t want garbage smell on her fine leather seats? I made sure to rub my body against the bin as much as possible.

Finally, I could hear a door opening in the distance.

Maddy was coming in.

Oh fuck. She looked hot in her ridiculous sunglasses and her professional looking suit.

But then again, Maddy looked hot in anything.

She leaned against the dumpster, all casual-like.

Like we just met here by accident.

All of this was so fucking ridiculous.

I turned to her. “Miss Rodriguez?”

“Mr… Dingle,” she said as she cleared her throat.

That’s it. No further discussion needed.

I handed her the stack of papers.

“Everything’s there.”

She went through the papers, browsing them in record time.

“Good. So… I- I’ll just go.”

“Yeah.”

And thus, our awkward fake conversation was over.

Time to start the actual fun part.

Hayley wasn’t in her car. She was leaning against it, smoking a cigarette.

Yeah. She probably didn’t want me inside the thing. I got too close and personal with that dumpster.

Hayley dumped her cigarette. “Hey, agent boy! That went great! I got several good headshots. By this time tomorrow, we’ll know her name. I guarantee.”

Something told me it would be sooner than that.

As I approached Hayley’s car, we suddenly heard a voice behind us.

“HANDS UP! BOTH OF YOU! THIS IS AN ARREST!”

It was Maddy. She appeared from a corner behind me.

She had followed me here. Just like I told her to. Secretly. Off-camera.

She was pointing a gun at the both of us.

It was a fake gun. I knew that. Maddy knew that.

Hayley didn’t know that.

Hayley was shocked. The sudden panic was so immense, that she lifted her arms straight into the air so fast, she almost fell over. I followed suit.

“Wait, Wha- Officer, I-“ Hayley stammered.

“Shut up! Both of you! I’m taking both of you to federal penitentiary! For conspiracy! You two are going to rot there for the rest of your natural lives!”

Aw man. She tried to sound so serious, but her voice was just too cute for me. I couldn’t help but smile.

Hayley was already smelling something rotten in the air. Besides me.

“Wait, this- No FBI agent talks like that! This is completely against protocol! Put that gun down! I’m going to sue-“

The sudden sound of Maddy’s laughter ended Hayley’s rant early.

Maddy lowered her gun, while giggling infectiously.

I couldn’t help but join in, laughing at Hayley’s stupid, scared face.

“What- what the fuck is this?” the angry lawyer asked.

“Oh man, we pranked you so hard! You should’ve seen your face!” Maddy laughed.

“Yeah,” I continued. “I bet you feel stupid now. All of this agent stuff was just a prank. Man you really fell for it.”

Hayley finally lowered her arms. She was beyond confused.

Why in the fuck would anybody do this?

“Umm…” she finally muttered, as our laughter was dying down. “Let me just… Can I clarify things? You’re not… an FBI agent?”

“Nah, sister. I’m just his…” Maddy looked at me, not certain if she was allowed to say it. I nodded. “I’m just his …friend.”

Hayley turned to me now. “And… You’re not an informer for the feds? …Maria is not… under an investigation?”

“Nah.”

There was a small silence in the air.

“This was all… for a prank?”

“Yup.”

Another silence wafted in the air.

It was no mystery what Hayley was thinking right now. Was Jack giving up… just like that? Did he even know what that meant? That Maria would absolutely destroy him now? Was his IQ below 30?

But Hayley said none of that.

“Okay… good one, guys. I’ll just… I’ll leave now, okay?”

I stepped a bit closer to her. “Nah.”

“What? Why?”

I fished out my cellphone.

I chose the correct video and…

Hit play.

The scene was me and Hayley inside the storagehouse, with Hayley’s voice speaking as clearly as could be.

“Those are the ‘secret inside knowledge’ stuff you managed to ‘find out’ about Maria. It’s good stuff. Will definitely throw the feds off the trail for a month or two.”

I hit stop.

Hayley was even more confused.

As was Maddy.

“Jack, what’s that?”

“Shush, babe. I have business to conduct here.”

She definitely didn’t like being shushed. And in front of another woman like this. She stayed quiet, but pouted a bit. (MADELEINE: +1SP) (+60SP)

Finally, Hayley was starting to get her bearings.

“How did you-“

“It was in my backpack. Made a special hole for it and everything. Oh yeah and by the way, all of this is backed up on cloud.”

She thought about it for a bit, and scoffed. “And? Is showing me this supposed to do something? Some crazy fucking goose chase you brought me on? Do you think any of this admissible in any fucking country on Earth?”

“I’m sure it won’t do wonders for your reputation.”

“Oh yeah? Go ahead and publish it. Nothing illegal has happened here today.”

I picked another video, and hit play.

“I’ve got a lifestyle I’m accustomed to. My job is to make sure there’s no stupid accidents like your lifeless body in her office.”

Hayley’s face went a little paler.

“That still means- nothing. It was just a fucking joke. It’s not my problem you have a terrible sense of humor and-“

I hit play again.

“The bitch is a fucking psycho. Never cross her again, okay? She’s capable of… stuff. Like… Okay some people just disappear. You’re free to make your own conclusions about that. ”

“Like… Giovanni?”

“That’s the one everyone knows about.”

This time… Hayley got really pale.

“Oh I’m sure this stuff doesn’t play in court…” I began. “But I do wonder what Maria thinks about all this? And your interesting opinions about her?”

Hayley was trying to come up with something to say.

All of it got stuck in her throat.

“I’m sure we can work out a good deal here…” I grabbed the utterly confused Maddy by her waist, bringing her closer to me. “I’m sure all three of us can think of something fun to do.”

“In fact…” I continued, my arm around Maddy. “I was enjoying the play with agent and criminal. Let’s go back to that.”