The Squad Assembles

Guardian Aurora landed in front of Dr. Bizarro’s lab. Ms. Emerald was ahead of her, and in front of the green minion was the rest of the old fable squad. Pyreknight decked out in her usual fire-themed costume and Dovetail in her angelic uniform.

“Hey, Pyre, Dove, glad you gals could make it!” GA rushed forward and enveloped all three of them in a hug. Her somewhat short arms had to stretch, but she made it happen for her girls. She wasn’t the team leader anymore since there wasn’t a team, but she still tried to embody that authoritative and comforting position.

“Wouldn’t miss it for the world,” Pyre said. “I can’t believe I though me being a superheroine was what I was meant to be.”

“It’s okay, dear.” Dovetail patted her on the pack. “I believe we were all confused. But now we’re going to be Dr. Bizarro’s minion… hopefully.” She looked at Ms. Emerald.

The green superheroine nodded. “Of course you all are. Look, Dr. Bizarro isn’t that picky. It’s more like the opposite. He wants as many minions as possible. Or at least that’s what he’s always ranting about.”

“Thank the Goddess,” Dovetail let out a sigh of relief and gave thanks to her personal patron. She believed her powers were from some higher power, and the rest of the team politely ignored it. Everyone knew powers were from genetic mutations, but if a teammate wanted to believe something else then that was on them.

“Yeah, that,” Pyreknight said. “Look, should we get this shindig going?” The flame warrioress always liked getting straight to the point, GA had observed, and her being a minion wasn’t going to change that.

“Follow me, Ladies. I’ll get us in.” Ms. Emerald motioned for them to follow her. The three fell in line behind her as she entered the secret passcode to the equally secret entrance to Dr. Bizarro’s lair. The lab itself was giant given that it filled an inactive volcano, and its space was well used, filled to the brim with all kinds of machines that spread across the open floor as far as the eye could see. “The doctor’s usually at his favorite spot with his reality machine. We’ll check there first.”

They walked further into the room, careful not to disturb anything. Eventually they reached the spot Ms. Emerald had described, which housed a giant towering slab of metal upon which were inscribed all sorts of techno-looking circuits. And next to it, muttering about something unintelligible to GA, was the doctor himself.

GA had fought Dr. Bizarro before back when she was a stupid superheroine. The doctor was an otherwise normal human being who had been gifted with super-intelligence, so that typically meant she had to beat him up in a mech suit or fight off some robotic automaton instead of the man himself. His skeletal thin frame didn’t inspire much confidence in a fistfight after all. Now that she was looking to be his minion however, she saw how attractive that made him. Her prospective boss should just delegate things to his minions and creations instead of fighting directly.

“Yo, boss! Look who I dragged in,” Ms. Emerald shouted.

“Quiet, I’m trying to think,” Dr. Bizarro said without turning around. “I’m this close to figuring out the correct formula for converting normal female women into my minions as well.”

“Oh, but don’t you want to hire the rest of the Fable Squad as your minions?” Ms. Emerald cheekily ignored his orders. A certain amount of sass was expected in a minion, GA saw. Which made sense from what she had dealt with before. Minions weren’t some sort of mindless robot (though there were those kinds too); they were more glorified office workers than anything else really.

“Hmm?” He turned around and saw the three remaining un-hired minions-to-be. “Oh, this is a pleasant surprise. I didn’t think you’d be this expeditious about gathering them up. Good work, Ms. Emerald.”

“Not a prob, boss.”

“Now, you three. You’re here to be my minions, correct?”

The three of them assented.

“Good, then you’re hired. For your first job, profess your undying loyalty to me.”

GA spoke first. She had already planned for just such a scenario. “I, Guardian Aurora, am your obedient minion now and forevermore. I will faithfully carry out your orders. I will fight for you and serve you as best as I possibly can. I used to be a foolish superheroine, but now I know that my true purpose is to be your minion. My light powers are yours to use however you wish. My body is yours to use however you wish. I am yours to use however you wish.”

Dovetail spoke up as soon as GA had finished. “I am your heal-minion. Whenever you are hurt or become sick, I will be there to use my powers to restore you to full health. I will also use my powers to heal your other minions up so they can commit more crimes. I used to be a pacifist superheroine, but now I will actively fight for you. I’m actually incredibly strong physically and can almost never be beaten since I can heal myself. I had refused to fight and just used my powers to heal my teammates since I believed that the Goddess had wanted me to be non-violent, but since I’m your minion now I know that was a false belief and a misunderstanding of her divine will. I’m so sorry I spent a day resisting being your minion. I’m now yours to do with as you please.”

Pyreknight finished up for them. “I’m your minion now, so do with me as you will.” She looked coldly down from her tall height, the freezing stare contrasting the ever-burning halo that surrounded her.

“Good job girls!” Ms. Emerald clapped. “I’m so happy to have you as fellow team-members again!”

“Me too,” GA said. “I missed you even during that brief period where you left and I was still confused about the whole superheroine with big and small tits being minion thing. It’s so much better now that we’re all together.”

“Hmm.” The doctor studied them. “A passing grade, I suppose. Now, for your second job, and this is something I’ve been wanting ever since I first saw your group shot, have sex with me.”

“The doctor’s a real horndog,” Ms. Emerald added helpfully, while walking over to the doctor. “He’s fucked me like ten times already and it’s only been like two days since I’ve been his minion.”

“I can help with that!” Dovetail moved forward and joined Ms. Emerald at the doctor’s side. He hefted her huge boobs up and started playing with them. “If you get tired after fucking one of us, I can heal your exhaustion.”

Pyreknight walked over. She leaned in close and whispered in the doctor’s ear. “You fucked up.” She then hit him sharply on the head with the butt of her sword, knocking him out.

“What the fuck?” Ms. Emerald leapt off the doctor’s lap. “What the fuck, Pyre? You can’t just go hitting our boss.”

“He’s not my boss. I’m not a minion like you girls. You see, his machine only changed reality so that superheroines with big and small chests are minions. I’m a happy medium so it didn’t effect me.”

“What are you talking about?” GA asked, genuinely confused. “The doctor’s machine doesn’t do anything. But I guess if you’re not here to be a minion then you’re still a superheroine? That means we have to fight now. We have to defend our boss.”

“No we don’t have to fight at all. You see, I’m not a superheroine either. I’m a supervillain now,” Pyreknight declared. “And I’m poaching you all. Minions swap sides to the winning team all the time, right?”

“That does happen quite a bit,” Dovetail said. “Whenever a supervillain fights another supervillain and defeats them, the minions don’t just stop being minions. They go to serve the victor.”

“Yeah, so how about it? Want to serve a real supervillain that doesn’t get knocked out in one jab?” Pyreknight stood with her fists on the side of her armor, confident and assured like an actual supervillain should be.

It didn’t take much for GA to see the logic in that. “You’re so right, Pyre. Plus, I think I’d rather serve a fellow ex-Fable Squad member than someone else anyways.”

Dovetail pressed her hands together and prayed silently. A moment later she opened her eyes. “The Goddess says this is all according to the plan. I’ll be your minion too, Pyre.”

Ms. Emerald barked out a harsh laugh. “Hah. Looks like I’m playing second fiddle in the squad again. Not that I mind. Yeah I’ll be your minion, Pyreknight.”

Pyreknight looked over the faces of her fellow team-members assembled together again. Cautious optimism and blithe acceptance and simmering rivalry all flashed across the visages. Not a hint of defiance between them. She sighed. Her gamble had worked.

“Good. Very good. Now, minions, for your first job...”