The Spectacular Spider-Man

The sun had just come up over the horizon and was playing games with the reflective nature of the glass windows from all the towering skyscrapers across downtown, creating false dawns that shun over neighbourhoods from said lights being bend at different angles and bouncing off once surface after another like mirrors. Down below a choir of honking horns from cars, cabs and trucks proved the city truly never slept as hundreds of thousands of people zig-zagged over crosswalks and down streets down below. High up top at the highest peak of the city, it granted the perfect view to see it all, a view both humbling and beautiful in equal measure as it shown how small we really are from so up high.

“What?! Of course, I’m still alive, what made you think I died?”

Pacing back and forth over the ledge of a 300-story skyscraper and with a cell phone in hand, the spectacular Spider-Man had his mask half-way up over his face so his voice wouldn’t be muffled during the call.

“Look… Aunt May don’t worry, I’m FINE now! It was only a bad case of food poisoning when I went on a date with Mj to that pizza place, it was a burrito topping pizza and… Yeah, I know that was a week ago. Look I’m sorry I didn’t call you during that time, but I was bed ridden for the entire time. MJ had to spoon feed me… Sue’em? Well, I’m not going BACK, that’s for sure. M’hmm, m’hmm, yeah, I can pick up more flour for you… Yeah love you too Aunt May.”

Turning off the phone, pulling down his mask to cover the rest of his face and rolling his shoulders while cricking his neck back and forth, Peter sighed as he took a final step out over the corner ledge to look down at the mile high view staring down to the city below. Behind the mask, Peter smiled as he pressed a small button just under the ear of his mask, testing the eye lenses opening and close and turn on the police radio feed into his ear.

“Well then, lets see what the city has for me today.”

Spreading his arms out wide, Spider-Man jumped off the ledge and went into free fall down the side of the building. By the time he was at least 50 stories over the street, he shot out a web line to his right and in a pendulum swing, made it across 5 city blocks before pointing out with his hand, firing off another line and swinging to the left. Pedestrians stopped only briefly to see the red and blue clad hero swing overhead, cheering down to the crowd who waved back to the man as he swung and turned a street corner.

“We have an altercation at W 34th and 7th Ave, two gunmen in vehicles are…” Tapping his finger over his ear, Spiderman checked where he was and changed trajectory. “And the FIRST order of the day is a mobile gang war! Let’s see if we can make them shake hands and hug it out.”

Heading to the street overhead and seeing the two cars drive by in empty traffic shooting at each other, Spider-Man picked up the pace and swung over them, firing web lines at their guns, and pulling them away with enough **** to pry them from their fingers. Looking up from their cars, the two groups of men looked up to find Spiderman waving back at them with their guns webbed up in a pouch hanging from his shoulder.

“HI GUYS!” He called out in mid swing and firing off another web line. “I take it there’s been some drama at home. Missed dinners maybe? Home team didn’t win?”

“SCREW YOU WEB CRAWLER!” Screamed one of the thugs in the convertible, pulling out a shotgun and immediately losing the firearm as a glob of webbing splattered over the weapon and was pulled out of his hands.

“Woah there! Sensing some hostility, that’s going to be a time out.”

“ICE THAT PUNK!” Called out a gunman from the other car, pulling out a pistol and getting webbed between the eyes as another web line plucked his gun out of his fingers. Pulling on the webbing on his eyes, the man panicked. “AAAAAGH!!!! GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF!”

“Relaaaaax guys, my webbing is hypoallergenic, observe…”

Rolling upside down and hanging onto his web line from his crouched feet, Spider-man tossed the bundle of firearms up into the air and webbed it to a the bulb of a street lamp, then with quick hands he webbed up everyone in both cars and pulled them out of their seats, binding them together in pairs until both groups had at least three pairs hanging from the next street lamps face to face, then where just at the last minute he webbed up the hoods of both cars, and pulled them off their wheels to hang upside down and scurried over their surfaces to web them up completely and hang from web lines scattered around the crosswalk where the cars dangled from like a cocoon.

Swinging back to check on the six or so thugs hanging upside down with their noses pressing against each other, Spiderman hung upside down so they could see him at their angle.

“THERE we go, isn’t that better? Now that you’ve all kissed and made up, I don’t want to see you all fighting out here ever again, its just embarrassing and I’d rather not want to have to call your mothers because you all are fighting.”

Listening in on the earpiece in the side of his mask, he heard another dispatch. “We have a fire at the Paramount Tower apartments over at…”

“Whoops, sorry guys, duty calls, and don’t eat at Gamouchi’s Pizza any time soon, you’ll thank me later.” Firing a web line to swing towards the next crisis to cover, Peter smiled behind the mask. “Damn its good to be back in the swing of things.”

Heading up town to where the fire was announced, by the time he was half-way there he heard additional chatter on the police frequency. “Update on the fire at Paramount, we have Mommy Long Legs at the scene already.”

“Mommy Long…? Do I still have a fever from all that chipotle?” Landing on a high-rise and looking out to see the building already dousing the fires, Spiderman swung down to check up on the building to find everyone who was inside safe and sound on the ground being tended to. The crowd cheering as they spotted the wall-crawler land and wave back to everyone. Spotting a fireman turning off the pressure valve at his firetruck, Spider-Man greet the man.

“Hi there, everything under control?”

“Sure is, that Mommy Long Legs helped us out real fast too… Scared the willies out of the kids though…” The man grimaced, tipping his hard hat with his thumb as his eyes darted to the trio of children with blankets around them with drinks in hand. “They’re drinking water before she stole their hot chocolates.”

Looking over to the kids, they appeared visibly shaken, sipping on their water bottles.

“Who is this mommy Long Legs anyway? I’ve been away for a while and I’m just hearing about her now.”

A little taken back, the firemen chuckled a bit as they traded looks and stared back at the web head. “What? You’z been unda a rock er something? She’s been helpin out since you’z been gone. Nice lady too, until recently… Don’t know what she’s been on lately but the look she’s sportin now scares the dickens out uh me. Still has a nice ass though...”

The rest of the fire brigade murmured in agreement, a couple high fiving each other as they put their equipment back in the fire truck.

“And you can’t convince me that spidah on her chest ain’t no push up either.”

“Lucky is the bastard married to HER I tellz ya… Unless that mask is her actual face!”

Even the paramedics murmured from that as they all scratched at the back of their necks or looked down, nodding in agreement.

“Wow… I have no words.” Blinked Spider-Man, confused. Scratching his head and looking around, Spider-Man turned to the firemen and paramedics on site. “Anyone see where this mommy Long Legs ran off to?”

Immediately everyone in ear shot of the question pointed north into the deeper end of the city, causing Spider-Man to slowly nod and lookout towards that direction and fire a web line to swing away.

“Don’t worry kids, I’ll have a few words with her.”

“PLEASE DON’T MENTION US!” Called out a little girl sitting with the paramedics, watching as Spider-Man swung away in search of this new heroine who had been helping people since he was gone.

For over half an hour, Spider-Man swung across the city trying to find this heroine who had been stepping up since he was away. He managed to stop some petty crimes during his search but everywhere he went he seemed to have just missed this woman from saving the day. And each description told him… Conflicting stories of her. Some told of a beautiful blonde woman in a white leotard with spider powers helping people, others a terrifying lady with a wicked sweet tooth. Eventually he stopped over the roof of a high rise and sat over the corner of the Chrysler building to look down at the city.

A hotdog in one hand and a soda in the other, Peter pulled his mask up to his nose and ate his lunch as he looked down at the traffic several hundred meters below his feet.

“Well, this has been eventful, I’ve been gone for five days and so far, I’ve been replaced with some spider-lady who never sleeps.”

Taking a bite of his hotdog, he had to shake his head from all the stories he’s heard looking for this woman so far. She never stopped, EVER. It was like she never sleeps or eats… Unless its to raid a store of all its chocolate and leaving a wad of cash and a terrified shop keep in her wake.

“Not one trace of her, heh, with my luck she’ll land right in my lap.”

Taking another bite, he paused when he heard and felt a presence land behind him, slowly turning around, eye on his mask went wide.

“Hi… Spider…”