The Smith home, from Rick and Morty. Yes, really.

It was a typical suburban home, like I expected, but it still made me anxious. I pulled my head back into the hotel room, saying “Okay, let’s go through, just try not to be threatening, and let me do the talking.” Taylor and Saki nodded, though the latter seemed a little disappointed we were leaving the nice room with a soft bed so quickly.

Either way, we stepped through, and found ourselves standing in the street. We hurried over to the sidewalk in front of the house, just as the garage door opened. Inside was an older man with blue hair in a remarkably spiky style. “Hi, I—“

Immediately he threw something at us that encased us in a translucent bubble. I could feel the wind, but otherwise nobody seemed to be able to leave. I asked “Um… could you tell me what this is, and why we’re inside of it?”

“Cause you’re a fuckin’ Mindslaver, tha—BURP—at’s why. What, you think I can’t tell your kind’s infuriatingly minty fresh breath from here? This ain’t my first rodeo, you crotch goblin.” Wow, he is just like I imagined him to be. That is freaky.

“Oh, cool, that saves me explaining stuff. Uh, would you be open to providing services to me? I’ll repay you, with favors or whatever you need that I can reasonably get.”

A familiar face entered the garage from the house, saying “Rick, what’s going o—“ but was interrupted by the older scientist saying “Get back in the goddamn house Morty! Mindslaver, right there!” Morty sighed “Rick, I-I keep telling you that’s just a dumb internet thing. You just m-make a build and jerk off to all the sex you’d totally have if it was real, it’s just a fetish thing.”

Well, might as well introduce myself. “Um, hello! My name’s John Doe, and sorry but he is actually right. I am a Mindslaver. Your sister and mom should probably stay away from me, by the way. I have a weird thing where we’ll probably end up boning if I meet them.”

“What the fuck!? Rick, wh-why haven’t you killed him yet!?” “Oh, now you agree it’s a legitimate thing to get worried about. Thanks for the vote of confidence, di—BURP—ick.” Wow, they even argue like the show too. What fun.

Still, I have business to get sorted here. This needs to move along, if possible. “Uh… please don’t kill me? I’ll just revive after a day, for your information.” I said, hopefully assuaging any fears they had about me by volunteering information about myself.

“That right?” Rick dryly asked, before throwing something at m—Is that a bomb!?

I’ll revive, Taylor’ll revive, Saki’ll revive, but she’s still pregnant with a normal baby! After all the effort I put out to save her kid, I’m not gonna let it die now…! I reached into my bag, pulling out my stopwatch, praying I would time it correctly…!

I clicked it as soon as the explosive passed through the bubble, luckily before it blew up, and got to work. I can’t get tired, so I spent as much time as possible disassembling the device, making sure every part that would or could explode was separated from whatever part would make it explode. I’m not sure how much time I spent, it was definitely a complicated venture for me.

Eventually, I got everything pulled apart and largely safe. I hope. In case I didn’t I positioned myself on one end of the bubble, with Taylor and Saki on the other end. Maybe I could cover up the explosion with my body…? Either way, with bated breath I clicked the stopwatch and resumed time.

… the lack of an explosion was heartening. I said “Um! One of the girls in here is pregnant! Please don’t throw bombs that kill indiscriminately!” Okay, maybe I shouted it. I’m a little on edge.

“Yeah, probably you knocked up with a Mindslaver baby. Not exactly gonna lose sleep over that.” Rick said, still completely unfazed.

“I… Morty! Look at her! 177013…!” I sputtered out.

The boy squinted, before his eyes widened in shock. “Holy shit…! Rick! It’s the girl! T-The sad girl, who got all fucked up!” Rick was still unbothered. “Morty, what are you talking about.”

“What was it called… Emergence! Rick, he-he did a ‘I’m Gonna Fix That Girl’!” “Morty, that’s stupid. It’s not real, I checked.”

I cocked my head to the side. “You checked?”

“Maybe I got drunk one night and tried to find the world that let her die and raze it till there wasn’t even fucking ashes, you in the mood to die bitch!?” Oh, hit a nerve.

I put my hands up, trying to convey non-aggression as I sputtered “N-No judgement, I get it! C-Clearly I had a similar thought! It’s f-funny you mention that name, Morty, cause I did actually get Josuke to heal her with Crazy Diamond.”

“Whoa, cool! R-Rick, he’s gone to JoJo world!” “Morty, shut the fuck up. The grown-ups are talking. Get back in the house like I told you five minutes ago.” “O-Okay…”

Once his grandson was out of the picture, Rick pushed a couple buttons, stepped out from the garage, and said “Alright, what do you want?” as metal shutters covered the house. The bubble covering us popped, finally, so I moved the pieces of the bomb a little further away.

Once that was done, I said “For starters, can you help Saki understand English? Rohan Kishibe gave me Japanese knowledge with his Stand, but didn’t do the reverse for her. And I’d like if Taylor could do stuff aside from comforting her and explaining stuff.” It didn’t come up, but Taylor was basically by Saki’s side the whole time translating what was happening and hugging her when she got scared.

“Fine. Eat this.” he stated, before handing Saki a piece of cheese. While I wondered why it was a piece of cheese, she ate it, before saying “Whoa… I understand now…! Everything before too…! T-Thank you, Taylor, I’m… I’m so lucky to know you…!” as she started to cry.

“Thank you, now I was hoping you could help me with this.” I said, holding out my stopwatch. “Help you how? It already stops time, what more can you want?” Ah, that question makes sense.

I clarified “Can you make it so I can bring other people into the time stop even if I start one alone? Like, if I stop time not holding anyone, but want to have someone be able to move in the frozen time with me afterwards.”

“I can, jury’s still out on if I want to. What’ll you give me?” Another thing that makes sense, okay.

“I have Planeswalker powers as a Mindslaver that let me go to any world I can imagine, at any time I can think of. I can help your portal gun do the same, maybe…? I’m not too smart, but I could help you run tests and stuff.” That’d be enticing, right?

Rick’s eyes widened. “Hm. The power to go into any fictional world I want. I think I can do something with that, anything else?”

“Can you help me safeguard my Harem from other Mindslavers? I’m kinda caught up in this ‘Mindslaver War’ thing.”

“So you went to me for help, good ide—BURP—ea. I can set you up with a minty breath-detecting system, want it to automatically trap them in anti-telepathy fields like the ones I used on you?” Honestly, I forgot that was a facet of being a Mindslaver. Easy to, when paired with almost unlimited multiversal power.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I said “Nah, basic **** fields are fine. Wait, actually, can you make it so they have light and sound blocking. Oh, better yet, one-way telepathy blockage! Let me reach in to enslave them but not let them reach out to do the same!”

“Yeah, that’s doable. Alright, let’s get to work.”