The September Tournament

"Diane's not going to be happy with us if we don't come up with something" Aditty lamented. She and Stew were trying to think of a stunt to pull at Debbi's expense for September but it was starting to feel like each month got harder than the last. "I know but I've been researching all my usual web sites for weird and wonderful folk lore traditions and what have you but everything in September seems centred around harvest. And we've only just done a kind of farming theme with the scarecrow idea" Stew observed.

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And why were that pair embarking on such a fruitless search without their lynchpin in attendance ? Diane was in Japan on business. As was Debbi. Jeff had sent the pair off together to clinch an important export contract. It had been a predictably frosty trip with very little socialising between the pair but the financial and networking flair of Diane, coupled with the technical nous of Debbi, had led to a successful conclusion and the deal was clinched. Their Japanese hosts were giving a farewell dinner to the pair to celebrate the successful partnership between the two companies and Debbi and Diane were finally able to relax and call a truce. Or so it seemed.

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Aditty and Stew had been dreading Diane's return. "We haven't been able to come up with anything boss." It was Aditty who had been delegated to give the bad news. "Oh, don't worry about that. I've got the perfect answer" said Diane confidently. "Really ?" asked Stew. "Yep. Sumo wrestling !" Diane cried. "What ?" Aditty wasn't convinced. "Sumo wrestling" Diane repeated. "Until you go there, you don't realise how huge it is in Japan. When there's a big tournament on it leads the evening news on TV every night, unless there's a tsunami or a financial crash."

"Well, OK" said Stew. "But what's that got to do with getting Debbi naked ? I mean, she's hardly the build of a sumo wrestler !"

"Then let me spell it out for you" Diane replied condescendingly. "When we were at the celebration dinner after we'd signed the Japanese contract, it was all I could do to get the directors of that company to talk about anything other than the September basho. That's what the big tournament's called" she began. "I still don't get it" Stew interrupted. "Let me finish. At first, it was just for want of something to say that I asked if there was such a thing as women's sumo wrestling. Apparently there is, though the women aren't as scantily dressed as the men you'll have seen. Anyway, it got me thinking."

Stew and Aditty still looked blank. "I said to the chairman that Debbi loved Japanese culture and had always shown a great interest in trying out sumo wrestling." Now Stew and Aditty laughed. "And he believed you ?" Aditty was slightly incredulous. "Amazingly enough he did. Or maybe he was thinking with his prick and getting off on the thought of Miss Debbi in a sumo ring. Whatever. Long story short, I promised we would have another event back here to celebrate the signing of the contract, at which Debbi would sumo wrestle. We'd stream it live back to them in Japan !"

"Brilliant" enthused Aditty. "Does Debbi know ?" "Not yet but when's that ever stopped us ? And Jeff will be all over something that binds us even closer to the Japanese market." "Not to mention company morale among the staff here" Aditty laughed. "Oh no, mustn't forget that" Diane laughed. It was a standing joke between the two of them that the original excuse for these monthly events about raising staff morale had long been forgotten.

It was left to Stew to attempt to pour some cold water on their enthusiasm. "That's all very well but you said the women sumo wrestlers aren't scantily dressed ?" he objected. "They aren't" Diane agreed. "They're great big women who wear sort of one piece romper suits with that heavy kind of truss thing the men wear over the top. But when have we ever been worried about authenticity ? We'll have Debbi topless and just wearing a kind of loincloth thing !"

Stew had one last objection. "But who's going to fight her ? She'd last about ten seconds before being shoved out of the ring and it'd all be over." "Not a problem. I've already spoken with a wrestling agency. The girl'll be briefed to drag it out and toy with Debbi for ten or fifteen minutes before ending the fight. Maybe she'll strip her at the end, maybe she won't but I'm not too bothered about that because as far as making Debbi look ridiculous is concerned, this just might be the best yet !"