The Renaissance

Two night guards are patrolling the Renaissance wing of a city art gallery. Suddenly, one of the guards stops as she sees one of the new paintings that catches her eye.

Said painting was of what looked like an little girl with a rather large behind and dressed in a white, cloth diaper throwing a tantrum. The little girl kicking, screaming, and crying as she was laid on her stomach on the floor of a large house. She was surrounded by a group of nobles and servants who were laughing loudly at this little girl. But what confused the guard most of all was what was on the placard under the painting...

"Lady Lauren's Tantrum" (1498) by Dame Vanessa Adkins (1480 - 1565)

"Yeah, I was confused too." A voice said, startling the guard a bit. Turning around, the guard saw her older coworker walking forward and stopping next to her. "I had no idea why this was on display. Honestly thought it was a joke, at first. But then I did some research on the piece - "

"You did research?" The female guard asked, raising an eyebrow skeptically.

"Did research, asked one of the art historians working here." He said with a shrug, "Same thing, really."

"Uh huh..."

"Anywho," the male guard said to his partner, "they told me that that supposed little girl in the painting is actually a twenty-four-year-old woman from the British Renaissance."

"THAT'S a twenty-four-year old?!" The woman asked incredulously, her eyes going wide as she did a double take at the painting.

"Yep." The guard confirmed, "I didn't believe it either at first, but I googled it when I got home and saw that it was true. Lady Lauren Adkins, known for her rude, holier than thou attitude, habit of making far more enemies than friends, the first example of an Ice Queen, and now," he chuckled a bit, "known for being the biggest laughing stock in the Renaissance due to the exposure of her secret enhancements."

"Secret enhancements...?" The female guard asked.

"Oh, you know." Her partner explained, "Padded bra, a girdle to hide her belly, a hoop skirt to hide her large butt, and those weird platform shoes that added six inches to her height. Plus some padding in those to add an additional three inches." After a few seconds he said, "And believe it or not, the creator of this painting was her little sister."

"You are making all of this up." The female guard deadpanned, her eyes narrowing slightly.

"I kid you not." The male guard assured, reaching into his pocket and pulling out his phone. After typing something into the search bar, he then handed it to his colleague. "Here, see for yourself."

The female guard took the phone and looked down at the screen. Sure enough, there was a picture of the same woman who was in the painting. There was even an article that told of the painting's backstory...