The Queen's Gambit

"Now, regarding your situation, I hope you'll tell me what member of my court played this little prank on you." Queen Brightra giggled to herself at the word "little."

"We weren't shrunk by a fairy from here, actually." Tina offered. "We were kidnapped by pirates who did this to us. Among... other things I dare not mention."

Brightra laughed. "Pirates performing fairy magic? That's definitely a new one." She continued as the servers began to carry in dishes of food for the three of them. The dishes themselves were just polished pebbles draped with leaves, and the food itself was an array of berries and nuts carved into the shapes of turkeys and pigs. It seemed the queen wanted her human guests to feel at home. "We've heard of tales of non-fey utilizing our type of spellcraft before, but this is impressive, particularly for a simple buccaneer."

"Non-fey, madam?" Hilda asked.

"Of course. This isn't the only time fairy magic has been used by one who is not a fairy. Humans have tried for years to practice our spells, and of course, we let them. They have the odd success, but most of the time, their failures are quite entertaining." Brightra turned to Hilda. "It was actually our most popular sport before you came around."

Hilda's face turned red. "Be that as it may, the pirate who did this was a fairy, actually."

Brightra's demeanor shifted. Frowning, she asked, "A fairy masquerading as a pirate? Preposterous; we're tricksters, not barbarians. The brigands of the high seas are beneath our attention, much less our imitation."

"But it's true!" Tina yelled, slamming her palms on the table. "She had a whole ship and crew and everything. She shrank my mother out of her clothes and **** her into a swordfight. She even had the pirate accent."

Brightra looked at Tina, skeptical but with hints of her assuredness breaking. "What was this pirate fairy's name, then?"

Tina struggled for a moment to remember their previous captor's name. "What was it? Rue something?"

"No, that wasn't it." Hilda chimed in. "It was something to do with the sky. Rain? Rise? Or was it Rose?"

"Her last name was weird, too. Blackwing, wasn't it?"

"That sounds right."

Brightra looked back and forth, trying to parse the nonsense her guests were putting forth, until something clicked in her brain. "Rey Darkwing?"

"Yes!" Both of the human guests shouted in unison. "It was kind of weird for a fairy name, wasn't it?" Tina said.

Hilda nodded. "All the fairies I've met have had much longer and sparklier names, now that you mention it."

"That's because it isn't a fairy name." The affable tone Brightra had been taking before had soured, and her gaze had darkened. "We tell children human tales as bedtime stories around here, and one of the monsters we tell children about in them is the Dark Wing. It's a fairy that has taken on the aspect of demons and betrayed their true name." She waved her hand dismissively. "It's pure fiction, of course. Such a thing is impossible. But I can think of at least one fairy who would go as far as to take that name."

Hilda and Tina looked at each other worriedly. "Who would that be?"

"Her name is Sunlight Pollenstaff. Or, it was." The queen sighed. "She was a problem child here in the village. She rebelled against everything colorful and nice. All of the things we teach our people to appreciate, she took for granted. She left our lands several years ago, choosing to call herself Rey instead of Sunlight, and no one had ever seen her since."

The queen laid back in her chair. "It pains me to think she's become such a cruel person as to do this to someone as kind and giving as you, Hilda."

Hilda blushed again. "I've been through worse, all things considered." She couldn't think of anything specific at the moment, but she was sure something worse than that had happened to her over her years of adventuring. Probably. She hoped.

"Well, since this was most certainly fairy magic that's responsible for this, I know just what to do."

Both women's faces brightened. "You do?"

"Oh yes. We've had to deal with this once or twice before." Brightra snapped her fingers, and a pair of guards flew in carrying a large (relatively) tome and dropping it on the dining table with a loud THUD! "There are countermeasures to spells like this, although some may be a little tricky." The cover of the tiny book flew open, and pages flipped fast enough to blow Tina and Hilda onto their bare behinds before finally stopping somewhere in the middle. "Ah, here we are. The Embiggening Natural Formality."

Tina and Hilda picked themselves off the floor and peered over the queen's shoulder. While Brightra was running her finger over the text carefully, the two humans just gawked at the pages in confusion. "What is all this? I don't recognize any of these words." Tina announced rather petulantly.

"Oh, dear," Hilda stuttered. "Do you think that spell took away our ability to read, too?! How dreadful! How will I read the books in my special librar- I mean, important knightly decrees and orders? Yes, that."

"You needn't worry about that, Lady Hilda," Brightra assured the panicked woman. "Humans just can't read fairy language. It's just a way we like to keep our secrets." She slammed the book shut with enough **** to make her guests hold each other out of fear. "In any case, the ritual to return you to your normal size is actually quite an easy one."

"Well, that's a relief." Tina sighed, grateful that at least one part of this disaster could finally be over.

"Indeed, all we'd need to do is..." The queen trailed off as she turned to look toward a crack in the porcelain wall that was serving as a window. Outside, the sky had already turned a deep red, and that light was quickly dimming. "Oh, dear, look at the time. It's much later than I thought. We'll have to leave the ceremony for tomorrow."

"What?" asked Hilda, trying and failing to hide her displeasure. "Can't we just do it now?"

Brightra shook her head forcefully. "Oh, no, certainly not. The Embiggening Natural Formality requires strong sunlight to work. Besides, you two must be exhausted after coming all this way. You should rest in a proper bed tonight. Aides!" Immediately, four attending servants appeared behind the two humans, grabbing each of them by their shoulders and lifting them with ease. "Take Ladies Hilda and Tina to the guest suite. Make sure they're comfortable for their stay overnight."

The fairies nodded and started to hover out of the room. Tina tried to turn her head to Brightra as she cried, "Wait, what about getting us dre-" but the closing of the doors to the dining hall shuttered her away from the queen. The young knight was starting to think this was on purpose.