The Preggo Pub!

I was stunned.

How the hell… What the fuck….?

The pub itself was about what I had been hoping for. Low key and not too busy. In fact I saw no barmaid and maybe half a dozen “clients”. It wasn’t the bar that had me stunned (which doesn't happen too often). It was the people.

For a start, I was the only male on the premises. Fair enough, I suppose. Its not totally uncommon for a bunch of girls to go out for a drink. I was also, I noted to myself, the only member of the clientele who was not pregnant, and quite far along too by the looks of things. This too could be explained away by an expectant mother’s group night out. However the thing that got me believing this was something other than a coincidence was their clothing. Latex dresses were the standard fashion that they had adopted.

A blonde girl stood watching me from the bar as I stalled and did my double take.

“Hi!” I said and flashed my best boardroom smile and headed straight for her. I introduced myself and gave some fairly accurate picture of myself as a corporate bigshot over here to save this impoverished country.

She ignored me.

“Uh. Did you hear me”? I queried.

She looked a little worried but remained silent and forcibly maintained her nervous smile..

“Oh well, crashed and burned.” I said, and turned reluctantly on my heel to face the other girls. One I noticed had a motif on her dress that read “Fuck Me!” or would have if someone had managed to spell it right. Still the sentiment augered well.

As I began to turn, I heard the first girl blurt out something that sounded a lot like BZZKRKJWKKZDR. Then she clamped her mouth shut.

I turned to face her. Oh, of course. She doesn't speak English.

She repeated her phrase that seemed devoid of vowels more slowly. Again I must have looked lost until she picked up an item that I had taken to be a place mat on the bar.

It was a small pamphlet, written in English, well almost, and she held it towards me.

“This is friendly bar. All girls do whatever you want. Nothing is banned. All here is free for use“, was printed on it.

I read it again just in case I was misunderstanding.

I looked back up at the blonde girl who was standing there waiting apprehensively to see what happened next.