The Path Forward

I knew the walk from the bus station to the edge of campus was about thirty minutes if you rushed it. Realistically, at a casual pace, it was probably closer to forty-five. I needed every last one of those minutes and more to try to figure out exactly what the fuck was going on here.

Okay, so I was back in time and I was in a different body. That much was clear and evident, even if it wasn't particularly understandable.

And I could figure out, in broad terms at least, exactly how that happened. The weird old woman in the fair had clearly cast some kind of spell to make this a reality, all under the guise of giving me the second chance that I'd asked for.

This was supposed to be what I wanted. This was supposed to be fulfilling my dream. If so, then why was I panicking in this way?

I've always been the kind of person who is more than content with tackling things in a logical manner. Take it step by step and analyze, figure out an appropriate response, and then move forward with the best choice out of the options that are presented to you. Rushing into things headlong or making a decision based on emotions alone was bound to cause nothing but trouble, but in all my wildest dreams I never believed I would be facing trouble on the scale that I was facing right now.

Stuck back in time. Stuck in a body that wasn't mine. Stuck, but maybe not forever.

There had to be a way to get back and getting back should be what I wanted. Already I was feeling the impact of being in this body, the wonky unfamiliarity of it making every movement feel over-exaggerated and ineffective all at the same time. I kept on trying to do things in a way that I would with my old body only to find this new one respond in a completely different manner and the alienation I was feeling from it made it perfectly clear to me that this wasn't going to be sustainable.

I needed out. I needed back. I needed to figure out a way.

Because even if this was a second chance it was only a second chance for her, for this woman. It was her shot at a better future than I had, and that meant that even if I achieved it for her she would be the one to reap the benefits.

Not me. Her.

So I needed to get back. I needed to find a way to find the fair and contact the old woman and tell her to send me back. I needed my old life and I needed my old body and I needed my old future because they were mine, dammit. They were mine and it frankly wasn't fucking fair that I lost them all.

If I'd known what she was offering me I would have picked up and walked out the door right then and there. Obviously I never would have agreed, had I known this was what was in store for me.

I don’t want to be a woman. I never wanted to be a woman. She had the measure of me all wrong and that meant that it was up to me to set things right.

So that's it, I can confirm it. I set my mind to it and I set my feet to moving as I pass the square in the center of town and keep on moving forward. I'm going to figure things out, I'm going to find my way back. I'm going to make this happen.

But for now I had ****, I had little in the way of options. I had no idea where the fair might be or how I might find it, so I'd have to play this game for the time being. And given the timeline and what date it was, that meant making my way to college and making my way through the first day.

Once I'd settled in I could do research, sorting through the generous library on campus and taking to the internet to find any evidence of the existence of this fair, of this woman. This was magic, clearly, real magic, and so it was unreasonable to assume that she would only ever have done this to me. There had to be others like me, other people who had experienced real magic on this scale. And that meant, in the end, that there was no way she could get by without leaving a trail.

All I had to do was find a way to look for it. All I had to do was find a hint, and that would lead me back down the path to her.

So that's the plan, bide my time until I find some sign of her and then get back in and tell her to send me back. Until then, I'd just have to play this game.

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