The Inventor

"Come on! Where are you?" You shout to yourself. You've invented the best thing since sliced bread, but your dumb had to go around and mess your stuff. "'Go out,' she says. 'When was the last time you paid anything for me?' she says." You would have listened were it not for you thinking about her D cup breasts on your face. Thinking back to now, this remote control was about to make five years of marriage worth it, but she touched it, you swore she did. Running up from the kitchen, you shout, "Honey, where's my car keys?"

"I put it on your table upstairs," your wife, Amber, shouts back. You could tell that she was in the bathroom, putting on last minute touches.

"Thank you," you shout, happy that your remote hasn't been used yet. "Also why were you in the basement?"

"I've been telling you for two weeks to clean that dumpster fire, so I took matters into my own hands,"

You sigh, "Why would you want it clean if I'm the only one down there?"

"I hate hosting parties in the living room, the basement would provide a better place for festivities," Amber said.

"Never mind," you say. "I'll clean up the basement in my spare time." Obviously, you won't, but you know that she'll get mad about some other thing.

As you go to your room to retrieve your remote control, Amber calls back, "Also, try to see if you could get a real job,"

She knows that sentence makes your blood boil, but instead of getting mad, you found your best invention waiting to be used. You head out of your room to see Amber about to leave, without a simple goodbye, like it would mean anything. You pressed the unlock button and say, "Don't leave, I need to tell you something,"

Amber had already had one foot out the door but found herself unable to move forward. She turned and asked, "Do you need anything?"

Feeling a bit mischievous, you pretend as if you didn't hear her. Without her noticing, you press the lock button and say, "You can go whenever you want, I was just messing with you."

The look on her annoyed face was priceless. The sound of her heels clicking on the floor and her crossed arms crushing her waist, it almost made you want to ask what was she thinking.

"I'm serious, I have an important meeting," Amber said. She wasn't at the stage of begging, but she was a few minutes away from being the maddest she has ever been at you.