The Harem Plan

The rescue at the baseball stadium had driven the media frenzy surrounding you to new heights. It was the only thing that anyone could talk about across the nation. Who was the mysterious masked hero? What was the deal with the alien invaders? And how was he getting away with such blatant copyright infringement? You try to drown out the noise and focus on doing what you do best. Lounging around the garage and training. Mitsuru didn't actually have much to say about the enemy copying her weapon. She shrugged it off – they already have the ability to travel through infinite dimensions, and that isn't going to change with them making a replica Sledgehammer. You're more concerned about the underlying technology giving them a leg up, but if Mitsuru isn't worried, you're not worried.

Two mostly calm days after the stadium incident, Mitsuru calls you over to the computer. "What's up?"

"We spoke about the money a few days ago – and I said that I'd have something substantive for you in a few days."

"Oh, right. So, am I getting a raise or something?"

Mitsuru adjusts her glasses, "That is to say, we received our first royalty payment for the merchandising line. With the manufacturer and retailer fees, we are left with a big portion of the proceeds. I've given you your thirty percent cut after routing it through some privacy conscious foreign banks."

Well, that sounds dubious!

"And how much did we make?"

"The videos of you fighting and summoning girls have blown up now that people know it's real, you were the number one trend in the world a few days ago. Since we planned ahead and had merchandise, toys and write ups already prepared – we were perfectly positioned to take advantage of the phenomenon. They flew off the shelves, and in total you took away fifty million dollars."

"…"

"…"

"F-Fifty?"

"Yes."

"Million?"

"Yes."

"Fifty million freaking dollars?!"

Mitsuru is too slow to plug her ears. She winces and hurriedly shoves a small plastic card into your hand, "Give or take. In fact, here you go! A new bank account with that money in it. Now, I couldn't move the lump sum into there without arousing unneeded suspicion, so you've been promoted to the COO of our company. You're earning one-hundred thousand dollars a month. You can finally move out of the crap shack you call an apartment. Or pay child support for your five hundred wives."

Do banks even insure this much cash at once?

"A-Anything else I should know?"

"No, that's it. Keep doing what you've been doing, and I'll keep working on our equipment. Oh, by the way, the leftovers from the Gundroid have been put into the printer. You have enough for ten cards now."

"I'll hold off on making any new ones right now."

"I saw an interesting selection in the logs actually, I didn't take you for that kind of person."

You hold up your hands in defence, "I stepped away for a moment and Rias did it."

"How convenient."

Mitsuru is not convinced. It's not like you need her approval or anything! You walk away and begin to think about all of the amazing things you can do with your newly earned money. Mitsuru's right, you would like a private space to call your own that can handle more than two people at a time. You'll have to wait a while to accumulate the funds to buy a big penthouse outright. At least the property prices in this city aren't as insane as they can be elsewhere. You're pulled out of your careful considerations by your phone vibrating. You swipe left before checking the caller ID and are surprised to discover that it's Rias.

"Hello hubby, how are you doing?"

"Fine, thanks. What's the occasion?"

"I just wanted to have a chat with you, that's all."

"Okay – has anything interesting happened on your end for the past few days?"

"There's always something. The fallen angels make sure of that. We also got to meet Issei's girlfriend!"

That explains a lot, actually. "Oh, Issei has a girlfriend?"

"I was rather surprised myself. He always seemed so adamant that he was going to form a harem and all, but it seems that she's domesticated him, so to speak." Rias giggles at her own joke, "She's a girl from Kuoh Academy."

And probably someone you've never heard of. Mitsuru's griping about things being convenient rings a little hollow when she digs out universes like this one where the horniest man in existence can settle down like that. It makes it much easier for you to claim every girl from the ORC, and the other devil's peerages too. A world filled with singletons, divorcees and widows. It's kind of sad now that you think about it. Part of you would like to meet Issei, but you'd probably have to press a card to make that happen. Maybe in a pinch.

"She sounds nice. Mitsuru just finished talking to me about the income from her stupid merchandising idea. I'm getting paid one-hundred-thousand dollars a month now as the COO. I don't even know what to do with that kind of money."

Rias hums, "To be truthful, I don't either. Everything has always been provided to me by my mother and father. The Gremory clan is very affluent, yet I find myself without the need for anything expensive. Recently I have started to fill my wardrobe with some cute outfits for our dates."

"Cute cute, or sexy cute?"

"Both!"

That tracks. "I'd like to move out of the 'love nest' and into somewhere bigger and nicer. Also, it's way too hot in the summer. But what else could I even spend it on?"

"A sports car?"

"Heh, that might be fun. Getting to feel like a big shot for once in my life."

"Fufu, you'll need a pair of beautiful women for those lonesome arms as well. Akeno would love to strut her stuff while hanging off of you."

Images of Rias and Akeno wearing sexy evening dresses and escorting you to a high-class restaurant flood into your head. Oh yeah, you definitely want to try that – even if it's just once and never again.

You shift topics, "How's your mother been?"

Rias giggles, "You can call her by her name, hubby. She's my mother, and your future wife. Perhaps you'd like to take us both to the bedchamber at the same time?"

You flush red. It always gets to you when Rias teases you like that; "I think I'd need to work up some serious courage to propose that."

"There's nothing strange about it," Rias insists, "We're devils after all. You should stop thinking like a human when you're dealing with us."

You shrug to an audience of none, "I don't know how a devil thinks."

"Aggressive, greedy, foolhardy. I would say that you are nearly there – laying claim to a mother and her daughter is exactly what I'd expect from a high-level devil."

"Hey, that was your idea."

"You could have said no."

"I don't think I can say no to you."

"Aww. You're too sweet."

Speaking of girls from Rias' world, "What did Asia and Koneko think of being brought through?"

"I did warn them, so they were ready for it. Asia was very eager to help anyone in need. Koneko isn't one to be open with her feelings, but she does stay in the room when the ORC fanclub watches the show. She pretends that she doesn't know anything about you."

Curling up on the couch and enjoying your adventures huh? Even so, you're going to need to break the ice with her if you want to add her to your burgeoning harem. Asia seems more open to the idea, even though the chaste nun hasn't had her first lewd thought yet.

"The rest of the club's members are hoping to meet you soon too!"

"Sure. I'll try and get more cards for you guys soon. Xenovia's probably interested, right?"

"Yep!"

She'll probably try to make a baby with you as soon as she steps through to your side…

"I'll make sure she gets an invite to the party then. I'll summon you and Akeno soon so we can hang out. I have a few errands to run today."

"Okay hubby! Message me any time. Bye! Love you!"

"Love you too."

She hangs up. During the discussion you ended up wandering into the gym to get a little privacy. May as well run your routine while you're here, unfortunately Chun-Li is occupied at the moment. No in-person training and shower fun this time. Your body has changed radically even after just a month or two of work. You used to be a pretty normal looking person – but now you can see your biceps and pecs growing by the day.

Unless you do some serious weight training, it's unlikely you'll get any bigger than this. That's just fine by you. You don't need to be a bodybuilder to fight evil, and you don't want to look like a character from JoJo's Bizarre Adventure. Not unless you have to. You slap your cheeks and stop your mind from drifting any further. It's time to get serious. Chun-Li will be angry if you miss out on your daily training. And you do not want to make Chun-Li angry.

---

Motoko messaged you using one of Mitsuru's phones and asked to drop by for another training session. She stepped through the interdimensional rift wearing another one of her rather distinct outfits. A pair of thick, blocky black sunglasses, a tight grey bodysuit, and a long black trench coat. She looks like she just stepped out of a cyberpunk movie, which she technically did.

"Let's train."

And just like that, you were sent spiralling back into the depths of hell. Motoko isn't giving you any slack today. It seems the better you get, the harsher she is with her criticism. Her biting sarcasm and perfectionist mindset forces you to run the course a dozen plus times before she's finally happy. And that's before she demands co-operative drills where you need to properly use squad tactics with her.

After finally coming to a stop and resting, you notice that she's moving a little slower than last time.

"You feeling okay?"

Motoko waves you off, "This is a civilian grade body, since we aren't doing anything special today."

You laugh, "I didn't know you had the ability to turn off from business mode. What's the difference between this and a military body?"

Motoko cocks her hips to the side, "Lighter, the joints and muscular system are less robust, there's no armour, and it also comes with all of the comfort features. Like eating, defecating, anatomical accuracy."

"Oh, you did say that your 'combat' body didn't come with nipples."

"They don't. No need for things like that on something you're only meant to use occasionally. If you're going about your everyday business - people like to be reminded that they're still human. Missing out on functions like those can lead to depression and dissociation, where the mind rejects the body."

You listen attentively and quickly come up with another question; "I don't mean to bring up something personal but you've been in a cyborg body for a long time, right? Do you still feel that way?"

Motoko's face shifts to a dissatisfied look, "I've been in a mechanical body for as long as I can remember. It's something that you can never get used to. The human brain is wired to think a certain way. I have a collection of spare bodies in my apartment. Some for work, some for leisure."

"That's wild. Is it really that easy to swap between them?"

Motoko nods. "If there was someone out there who'd be willing to transfer themselves into a 'non-human' body for good, I could only conclude that there's something wrong with them."

"I guess. Hey, are you planning on doing something else while you're here?"

She shakes her head.

"Not interested in seeing the world before cyberbrains became a thing?"

Motoko doesn't seem interested, "This world isn't so different to mine, even though the technology is less advanced." Figures. She seems like a hard woman to entertain and interest. Speaking of entertainment…

"Mitsuru told me that everyone we summon already knows the score – I forgot to ask you last time. Are you familiar with us?"

That confident smirk falters for just a second. "Ah. Are you trying to ask me if I'm a big 'fan' of yours?"

"Sure. Let's go with that."

She sighs, "It's no good dancing around this one is it? I am."

"What's our story like in your world? How similar is it to this universe?"

"The core elements are the same. You and Mitsuru fighting alien invaders, summoning characters from other media franchises, set in a quaint retro-future city before the invention of modern technology. All of that is mixed in with a large amount of sexual comedy and meta commentary. It's a very guilty pleasure. Don't start trying to make fun of me-"

"I won't," you cut her off, "In fact, it's flattering that someone like you would enjoy 'our' adventures that much."

"Hmf. I started reading it on a whim when I was younger and still in the military. Some of my platoon mates handed me their leftover copies just to kill some time. When I returned to Japan and joined section nine, I kept up with it. I got invested. I didn't know most of the crossover characters who were introduced, so I had to enjoy the original content as it was."

"Oh, so you don't know any of the Occult Research Club."

"No. There are similar characters, but not identical."

It seems that in all universes, anime and manga are horny. You are not surprised to learn this. You badly want to broach the subject of her affection for you – but Motoko will probably crush your balls if you try anything like that on her. She's going to reveal the truth on her own terms, you're just going to have to wait.

"Coming here does make for a good change of pace from my usual routine. I can relax for a few hours without having to worry about the world falling apart."

"Your idea of relaxing is more training?"

She titters, "Of course. Shooting dummies and targets is my 'happy place.'"

You can only hope that you aren't counter amongst their number, because you are a dummy.

"How do you feel about this whole harem thing anyway? I still haven't gotten used to it."

Motoko folds her glasses and slips them into her pocket, revealing her red eyes. "As impractical and improbable as the function of a relationship like that is – I can't feel surprised with it. I've seen a lot of strange things in my time. People modding their bodies to extremes that I couldn't have imagined before, choosing to live inside of a cyberbrain in their own closed-off world… so a romance with multiple partners is almost tame in comparison."

"Improbable, that sounds right to me."

"But not impossible," she emphasises, "If there are infinite worlds with infinite personalities, I'm sure that amongst those possibilities are a group of people willing to give it a try."

"Are you one of them?" You cringe internally as the real thrust of your questioning slips out, every bit as bare faced and brazen as you were trying to avoid.

Motoko doesn't reach out and crush your balls with her robotic grip, instead she smirks and leans into your personal space, "You'd like that, wouldn't you?"

You sigh and close your eyes, "We both know how this works. But I'm not going to insist that you have to do anything. Like you said, improbable and impractical. I'm waiting for the moment where one of you starts thinking that I can't divide my attention in enough ways."

You don't know what you expect her reaction to be. Motoko is such a mixed bag of emotions and moods. Deathly serious, teasing, mature or even childish. She can be all of those things and more. What she doesn't do is take advantage of your position to sneak in a kiss. She puts her hands on your chest and pushes you back a touch.

"Then you'll have to do your best to make sure that doesn't happen. It might hurt if someone spurns you, but would you prefer to keep them with you even if they weren't enjoying it?" She speaks with a firm conviction that fills you with a sudden burst of confidence. She's right. You just need to do what you can and see how things play out.

"Alright. I get it."

But Motoko can't resist the chance to jab at you with another comment, "And if you want me to join this little 'harem' of yours – you're going to have to impress me." Impress her? How the hell are you going to impress a woman who rips tanks apart with her bare hands? You get the sense that she's more interested than she lets on.

"Easier said than done…"

You finish up the last few rounds of firearms training with Motoko. She can't stick around for long, so after you're finished you send her back home so she can take on some real threats instead of ones that Mitsuru and Lala built. You towel off the sweat and clean up the mess, resetting the training system to its normal settings.

But speak of the Deviluke and she shall appear. As you move to leave the elevator doors open and the violent bundle of pink alien energy dashes you, pulling you into a tight hug, "Mitsuru and I finally finished what we were working on! So now we can spend a bunch of time together!

"Hey Lala, did Mitsuru summon you again?"

"Yep! Come with me, there's something I want to show you!"

You follow the peppy girl into the elevator. The elevator begins to shift and move for only a short distance, coming to a stop two floors below. How many floors did they build down here? And how did they avoid hitting any pipes in the process? Lala presses several buttons, seemingly entering a password that only she knows.

The doors open again to reveal a strange room. There's a wooden platform that runs along the entryway of the chamber, but the rest of the floor is seemingly made from one gigantic mattress, complete with sheets and pillows. It's large enough to comfortably bed several dozen people. White curtains hang from each wall, giving it an almost heavenly appearance.

"So… what's this room?"

"This is Lala's personal chamber! Mitsuru said I can do whatever I want in here! So I decided to turn it into a super awesome harem bedroom for all of us! We can all snuggle up together and maybe do something lewd too…"

Your eyes drift to the left, where a single standing whiteboard is perched atop the thin strip of solid ground. Leaving your shoes in the provided rack, you walk around and get a proper view of what's contained on it. To put it bluntly, it's a crazy ass conspiracy theory chart, with images of all of your present harem members connected with pieces of coloured string. "HAREM PLAN," is scribbled across the top in red marker.

"Harem Plan?"

Lala trots over with a smile, "Oh, Momo heard about me being added to a harem and she was super excited about it! We made this together. The red string connects girls who are already in love with you, and the yellow string is for girls who haven't realised how much they want you just yet!"

Some of the other interpersonal relationships have also been connected with blue strings. Rias, her mother and her peerage are all strung up with each other. The candid images of Akeno and Rias lying seductively on crumpled white sheets make it immediately obvious that they're both in on the joke. By contrast Koneko and Asia have normal profile shots of their faces. Xenovia is also hovering around the bundle of devilish ladies, but she isn't connected to you – presumably because you haven't met her yet.

"This way, we can make sure that we plan carefully and capture their hearts in one go!"

You were just kinda' winging it until now. How helpful could this chart really be?

"It's interesting, but aren't you going to run out of space eventually?"

Lala hums, her tail wagging in the air behind her. "We can worry about that when we get there! Oh, maybe we could get one of those super cool touchscreens and make a really big digital version! But there's something so fun about having a physical board here…"

You chuckle and pat her on the back, "Okay, okay. We'll do the board for now."