The Gears Slowly Turn

You immediately knew which episode you'd reached when one of Quake's waitresses brought a drink over to Prue at the bar, which she sent back kindly. In a way you'd been dreading this episode because there wasn't a whole lot you could do, the main plot consisted of Prue continually being attacked in her dreams, which prevented you from interfering, and the sub-plot followed Piper and Phoebe after a spell gone awry to attract men, which was originally Phoebe's idea but you doubted she'd be so keen on the idea with your relationship.

"Piper, we need to stop stop trying to make men want us, and figure what we want in a man." Prue said, as Piper recovered from her morning workout.

"Lots of fun, fiery passion, not a lot of strings attached." Phoebe responded, munching on her Froot Loops as you snorted next to her.

"That doesn't sound like Leo, he always seemed more down-to-earth, a slow-burn kind of guy." Prue retorted, and you glanced at her with your eyebrows raised.

"Well, I want a guy that's romantic and enjoys just getting to be together even if its PG 13." Piper adds to the conversation. "Although at this point I'd be willing to settle for a normal guy." Piper mumbles.

"Yeah, but then you'd have to keep the family secret and that's not very P.C. is it?" Prue asks.

You gave a small chuckle as all three sisters look at you with mildly veiled suspicion.

"Oh great male, do our love life problems amuse you?" Prue asked, her voice dripping with sarcasm.

"Not really, I was just thinking that Piper and Phoebe have their preferences reversed, Phoebe's in a committed somewhat long-term relationship, and Piper's type since getting your powers has been a bad boy and someone that had to leave. It not funny, but it's funny, you know?" You finally spoke up, as the three sisters just looked at you before smiling since you weren't being mean.

"On the other hand if, you really would like to find a boyfriend so you can all triple date, you could always try a magical spell." That suggestion plunged the room into silence.

"A magic spell?" Piper asked after a second. "Doesn't that seem a bit, I don't know, ****?"

"Not to mention personal gain, I feel like using magic to to attract a guy falls pretty firmly in that category." Prue added.

"Well, I can't help you with that bit, but I hardly think it's **** to find a boyfriend. I mean you a nice girl, sweet, you look really cute when you get frightened and 'eep', any guy would love spending time with you." You said, trying to lift Piper's spirits.

"What about me, am I cute too?" Phoebe asked, looking for a compliment from her boyfriend.

"You're more sultry than cute, you're like a passionate fire." You rebounded, making Phoebe smile.

"So she's fiery and I'm cute, suddenly I feel like the little sister." Piper retorted.

"No no, it's more like Phoebe's more of a smoke-show and you're a hearth fire, comforting homely, er, homey? Regardless, you're like the girl a guy marries, a really good wife." You said, that sounded suitably complimentary.

"Oh, I'm not a good wife now?" Phoebe looked at you with questioning eyes.

"You literally just said you wanted no strings attached!" You felt like you were in a hole and you just couldn't stop digging. A momentary glance at Prue showed that she seemed to agree, although with more amusement than you.

"That's me, but what about you, don't you want to marry me?" Phoebe asked, looking at you with her big eyes.

"Yes of course I want to marry you." You said, feeling like you'd finally got a handle on the situation.

"What about me, would you marry me?" Piper asked, and you spun around looking at her.

"No, I couldn't do that." You answered before you even thought about it.

"Oh, I see, so even you wouldn't marry me." Piper said sadly, and you felt Phoebe lightly hit your arm.

"If you weren't going to marry her, you shouldn't have got her hopes up with all those compliments." Phoebe chided as you felt like your head was spinning.

Apparently the girls had had enough as they all broke out in smiles and laughter as you stumbled away.

It would seem that even with your divine knowledge, women still evaded your understanding.