The Family Jewels, Part II

TAP TAP TAP

Brandon snapped out of his thoughts. Shifting his head slightly, he saw a worried Ashley standing outside the car door. His girlfriend gave a half-smile and wave. Opening the door, he gave her time to move back.

"Bran, are you alright?" the petite blonde asked, her concern evident on her cute face.

"He's fine, Ash!" Madison called from across the parking lot, where she stood with Lisa and Delilah. "He just can't make babies anymore."

"What?!" Ashley showed off her cheerleader skills by literally jumping off the ground in shock.

"No, no, Mads is lying," Brandon reassured her as he saw his girlfriend's freakout starting. Raising his voice, he yelled back at his sister. "Dammit, Madison, don't fucking lie about shit like that!"

"Are you sure?" Ashley quivered as she doublechecked by peering at his groin. "Is your little man swollen?"

"He's much better, I swear. I had some soreness last night, but it's all gone now," Brandon insisted, noticing students walking in the parking lot, whispering to each other, and pointing in his direction. "Let's head inside."

"Are you sure? Maybe we should test him out. You know to make sure he's still working," Ashley suggested with a forced smile. The blonde cheerleader clearly didn't believe his denials. "You can be quick at times. Jump back inside the car, and I'll give you fast rub."

"Oh. My. God!" screeched two freshman girls, standing at the back of Brandon's SUV. They dashed off, giggling at overhearing the popular cheerleader offer a handjob to her star quarterback boyfriend.

"Dammit, Ash, people are going to talk," he warned, grabbing her hand and pulling her toward the school.

"It's okay if you don't want to admit it. We can go to see Miss Zee, and she can offer some recommendations."

"My dick is perfectly fine!" Brandon shouted, immediately regretting his loud tone as more heads turned to watch them.

"It'd be better if it was my dick, not Miss Meddlemaker's!" Bianca called out, from across the courtyard where she stood with a group of Honeybears.

"Back off, spinster!" Ashley shouted over her shoulder.

"Ladies, any more fighting, and suspensions will be issued," a grating voice threatened, from the far doorway. "I will be scheduling meetings with you over what I heard happened last night on school grounds."

"Oh, crap, it's Vutcher!" Ashley hissed, sending all the students around her scurrying away. "I'll talk to you later," she whispered to Brandon.

"Is there a problem, Mr. Cole?" a severe-looking woman challenged from about thirty feet away.

"Not at all, Mrs. Vutcher," Brandon assured the assistant principal, who's duties included school discipline. His head swung around every which way for anything to do. Spotting Kevin Jackson, he ran off to join him, and apologize.

"Are you prepared to pay attention and participate this morning, Brandon?"

"Yes, I am, Mrs. Griffin," he reassured his Trigonometry teacher.

"That's unless he's supposed to get a boner," quietly snickered Paul.

"I heard flagpole erecting is too hard for him," laughed Liam at a low level.

Brandon stewed. He couldn't respond as Mrs. Griffin hadn't heard, and she still stared at him. Just when I make amends with Kevin and Leon, these other basketball assholes start asking for an ass-whooping.

"Knock it off, guys," ordered Brandon's football teammate.

"You got a problem, Winkie?" Paul challenged.

"Hey, geniuses, there's way more of us on the football team than on basketball," Max reminded them.

"Is there a problem, Max?" Mrs. Griffin asked, in her usual friendly manner.

"Not at all, ma'am."

"Hey, are you really okay?" Billy Clawfoot asked from the seat in front of Brandon. "I've seen guys get drilled in the groin during practice and games," the star baseball player revealed. "A few years back, one pitcher for Mountain Falls had a line drive rupture his testicle."

Shuddering at the image, Brandon forcefully shook his head. "No, I'm good. It was just a kick."

"Man, I hope so. That story still gives me the creeps."

"So, the survivors from the torpedo attack ended up on a deserted island in the Pacific Ocean," the elderly World History teacher recounted the tale of the ill-fated passenger ship during the early days of World War II. "There they had to build their own society for they wouldn't be discovered and rescued until 1946. When they were stumbled upon, they had assumed that no one would ever find them, and prepared to live on the tropical island for the rest of their lives. Not that they weren't busy. More than two dozen babies had been born during that time, giving them hope for the future."

"I bet if Cole washes up on a deserted island with the cheerleading squad, they'd die out," cracked a pea-brained wrestler.

"Yeah, they probably kill him off once they found out he's shooting blanks," his teammate suggested. "Why waste their food and water on a cripple."

"Is there a problem, gentleman?" their teacher interrupted his lecture because of the laughter around the two wrestlers.

"No, Mr. Grummitt."

"We were just talking about Cole's inputence," the dumber of the two wrestlers announced, sending the most of the class into a fit of laugher.

"I believe you mean the word impotence," the annoyed Mr. Grummitt informed him, pulling off his glasses and rubbing the bridge of his nose. "I should've retired last summer," he muttered, causing several students in the front rows to chuckle again.

"Uh, what, sir?" asked one of the wrestlers.

"Both of you go see, Mrs. Vutcher," Mr. Grummitt waved them out of his classroom.

While his teacher dealt with their questions over what they did, Brandon heard the girl behind him softly speak into his ear.

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, Brandon," Prudence Goodley proclaimed. "If he chose to strip you of your seed, it's for a reason. He does that to sinners."

"Shut the hell up, Prudence," Brandon groaned.

"Hey, Cole, you better get to know one of these," Meagan teased, holding up a turkey baster that she pulled out of their mini-kitchen's drawer. "With you unable to launch that rocket, this might the only way you knock a girl up."

"Hahaha. Very funny," Brandon responded.

"So, it's true?" Jasmine questioned, her mouth dropping in shock. "Ashley really damaged you for life."

"No, it's not true! Where is everyone hearing about this?" he moaned. This day can't get any worse.

"It's all around school. Yelena heard it from Rosita, who heard from Hazel, who heard it from Heidi, who heard it from Paul, who heard—"

"Okay, we got it, Jasmine. Geesh!" Meagan stopped her tablemate.

"Dude, this can be a good thing, Cole," Kessler finally joined into the conversation, after continuing to work his game on the girls in the next mini-kitchen. "If you're shooting blanks, you won't need to wear any protection. You can go bareback in any girl."

"What about STDs, moron?" Meagan rolled her eyes.

"Huh? Those things don't exist in Azure Rocks," Kessler replied. "It would ruin everything."

"Today might be the worst day of my life," Brandon groaned as he sat down at the cheerleaders' table for lunch.

"I'm sooo sorry, Bran," Ashley apologized for the eighth time in the last five minutes.

"Arrr mateys, it be One-Balled Brandon joining us," Sharon announced, in a terrible pirate impersonation.

"Thanks to Ashley, he won't be yelling thar she blows anytime soon," Heather joked.

"Heather, Sharon, knock it off!" Ashley shouted at her teammates.

"Aw, we're just having a little fun with Brandon," Sharon replied, winking at the quarterback.

"Is it true you can't make babies anymore?" Amber inquired with big, wide eyes.

"I heard he can't even get hard anymore," cracked a junior cheerleader from down the table.

"Shut up, Gretta!" Ashley screamed. "No one asked you!"

"Geez, Ashley already sounds needy, and it's only been a day since she injured him," Sharon cracked again, causing the petite blonde to throw a baby carrot at her. "Whoa, you better take that back. You might need it to replace Brandon."

"That's it! I'm out of here," Brandon jumped to his feet and started to storm off. "I need to be alone."

"You see what you did!" Ashley scolded her teammates.

"Come back, Brandon. We were only teasing you," Heather called out to him.

"Talk about a grumpy pants," Tanya commented, before ducking a sprout thrown by Ashley.

"So, he can't make babies?" Amber re-asked.

"Bunch of bullshit," grumbled Brandon. He kicked a crumpled up piece of paper lying on the hallway floor. Watching it barely go a few feet, Brandon examined the strange, unfamiliar area of the school. I haven't been down here in a couple of years. He realized that he was in the art and music wing of the Azure Rocks High School.

Turing the corner, Brandon began inspecting the small windows of the doors. On his right side, stood the art classrooms, and the left sat the music rooms. In the first door, he could see the choir practicing. Whoa, there are some hot girls in the choir! How come I haven't noticed them before?

Ahead of him in the hallway, a large door opened, letting out the sounds of the school band practicing. Leaning his head over, Brandon checked to see who left the room, and his gaze fell on one of the worst people he could run into at this moment.

"Br-Brandon? What are you doing done here?" an astonished girl stood with her mouth gaping open, revealing her braces.

"Hi, Polly," Brandon greeted Polly Gettinger, his next-door neighbor. "I needed some time alone."

Staring at him in awe, Polly's hand reached up to her hair and began to twirl the light brown curls. It was an act that Brandon knew meant she was nervous, and what she had done since late grade school around him. At an average height, Polly had brown eyes, medium-sized breasts, and a firm ass. Brandon never noticed the last two attributes as she was just Polly, the geeky girl from next door. He would admit that had to be one the sweetest, kindest girls he knew, but her painful shyness could lead to long, awkward moments. Such as the moment now.

"Uh, Polly? Polly!" Brandon said louder while snapping his fingers in front of him.

"What? Oh, sorry, Brandon, I, um, I don't..." the clarinet player trailed off.

"Don't you have class?"

"Oh! I need to use the bath—I mean, I need to powder my nose," Polly recovered, sounding like Brandon's grandmother. Another trait of hers that caused Brandon to roll his eyes.

"Well, I'll let you pass," the star quarterback told her with an exaggerated wave of his hand.

The unintentional gallant gesture brought a shiny, braces-filled smile to her face. In response, Polly curtsied before beginning to walk past her years-long crush. Suddenly, her face scrunched up in concern.

"A-are you o-okay?"

"Aw, don't tell me you heard too?" Brandon groaned. "Yes, I'm fine. It was a little accidental kick."

"Um, well, people are talking...just so you know," Polly informed him, her eyes lowering.

"Oh, I know. Today's been one hell of a—Pollyanna Gettinger, my eyes are up here!" Brandon exclaimed in shock.

"Uhhhhhh, I'm sooooo sorry," Polly struggled to say, after getting caught staring at his groin.

"I'm very disappointed in you. Staring down there is not like—hey!" Brandon exclaimed again, seeing her eyes drop back down.

"Oh, god! I...I've just been worried about you. People say it's deformed now...and it looked so long the other morning," Polly revealed before she clamped her hand over her mouth.

"Okay, that's it. I'm out of here, and you need to go...powder your nose," Brandon said, throwing his hands up in the air, and marching away.

"I'm sorry!" Polly apologized again. "Uh, tell Maddie good luck on her big night!"

Brandon stomped down the hall and turned the corner before what she said hit him. Maddie's big night? What the hell does that mean?