The Familiarity Of Touch

But I wanted to be. I wanted to be content with myself. I wanted, from the beginning, to have nothing more in my life than to just fit in. To have a place. To have people accept me.

It's been so long since I was back in this place, back at this point in my life, but I realize that I've never really shifted from that sad and insecure little kid who hated the fact that they were always on the outside of the fishbowl looking in. I was so **** to just have someone close to me.

And I never changed.

All those years and all those experiences that I've had. I was so much older but the sting was still the same. I still needed to be noticed, to be remembered, to be acknowledged. I still craved it.

I still do.

By the time the movie starts I'm glad for it. Jake and I have long since run out of things to say and we're on the verge of talking about the weather so it's really for the best that we got the break we did. And as the lights went down and the screen lit up I relaxed into things, leaning back a little and just watching, but only for a brief moment.

Jake has other ideas, you see. Jake wasn't here for the movie.

"Did I tell you that you look beautiful tonight?" he says, leaning over to me a whispering so that only I can hear him.

I blush a little and smile, "You did, but that doesn't mean that I don't still appreciate it."

"Well I'll be sure to say it more often. You definitely deserve to hear it. Emily, you are so beautiful."

I bite my bottom lip and I turn to look at him and he is so close to me and I am so confused. Because the way that he is staring at me is saying one thing and my body is in perfect synchronicity with that. Given the option to take a step five minutes into the past and just not have the discussion that introduced all that uncertainty, I would take that option in a heartbeat.

But it kind of looks like Jake is willing to give me that chance. The way he's looking at me right now? It's telling me that he doesn't give a damn. That he wants me, just the way he's already had me and more. That he wants me tonight, right here in the dark.

And god I think I want to give it to him.

"Kiss me," I say, my words a breathy whisper on my lips and I'm wishing and I'm hoping that his kiss can make me forget about things, can make me not remember the way he looked at me like I had two heads and only look at me like a woman that he wants.

And he leans in close and I reach up to brush the back of my fingers against his cheek and I feel his stubble and I let him move in to me, I let his lips connect with mine. I sigh into him, turning to face him a little as our bodies start to find common ground once more.

Jake is powerful, I already know that. I remember the way he'd gripped me and held me down and made me take it and I remember the way that I'd loved his power. So too did I remember how fun it was to turn the tables on him and I wanted to do that tonight in the dark. I wanted to surprise him. I wanted him to surprise me.

His body tenses as I nip at his bottom lip and I dart out my tongue a moment later to coax his mouth to open. When he parts I slide inside and I tease against him, refamiliarizing him with the machinations of my flexible tongue and making him grunt as he leans into me a little more.

Oh it's so good to be with him. To have him with me. So good to have this familiar sort of unfamiliarity, just two bodies trying to understand and find each others buttons in the dark.

Just a kiss and a tension building. Just two hands flexing and waiting to touch me.

With the both of us being exactly who we are and precisely who we want and need to be. Exactly the person that would entice and attract. Exactly what we expect.

Just a man wanting a woman and a woman wanting a man.

Nothing more.

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