The Ex

I shift through my contacts. Mom and Dad are dead. Most of the other numbers are work contacts. No one I’m really close with, especially since the business is dead. I’ve always been an introvert and I don’t keep in contact with the few people I’ve called friends. At 22, I haven’t had much contact with any of them since high school anyways. I only see one contact that might be willing to help. Fuuuuuuck.

I pull my knees up under my chin. Is this really the only choice? I think I might be able to find a nice ditch somewhere to lie down and die in. And there are several alleys around town I can dumpster dive in. Yeah, I can just let my life end naturally.

Before I can think further, a door bursts open down the street, and a woman runs out in her underwear. Many of the stores on this street have residences on the second floors. She runs to a car and pulls open the side door. She doesn’t get in though, just leaning down with her torso inside. She stands back up straight in time for a… what the fuck is that? It looks like a cross between a lizard man and a tree, with a literal bushy tail. And it walks out of the same door as the woman had. The woman lifts her arms and… I jump as several loud bangs ring out. The lizard/tree man falls to his knees and raises one hand, as the woman steps closer and shoots it in the head.

I duck into my seat. I just saw someone kill something that wasn’t human. I just woke up less than human. That thing was in the ladies house. She probably just killed her boyfriend, or husband. My phone beeps, and I look at it. It’s an emergency alert. Wide spread reports of wild animals all over town. Including in many peoples houses. I pull up the news.

The emergency alert must have been sent out by someone thinking the reports they were getting had to be exaggerated. The news wasn’t mincing words though. Monsters, appearing all over. Every town, every city. Seemingly every country. And a lot of those monsters were appearing in people’s houses. And a lot of those houses had a missing family member.

I close the news, and text Sasha. ‘Something bad happened. I have no one else to turn to. Can you please pick me up?’

It’s pretty early, so she’s probably asleep. She won’t see the text for a while. I… I need to hide. But all I have is this car. Some people are out, having been drawn out by the commotion and the promise of gawking at a dead person… although they probably think it’s some kind of animal. Okay, let’s just… stay calm. Don’t think about the dead person probably killed by their own family. Let’s just… be happy I’m not as scary looking. Maybe they won’t shoot me on sight? I’m kinda cute even. I didn’t want to think too hard about it before, but the sudden introduction of guns in the equation make me suddenly okay with my tiny stature. Non-threatening, smaller target, what’s not to like? I doubt I could run away very fast if I had to… no, stay positive. Sasha will come, pick me up, and then… I don’t know. I beg her to let me move back in.

Of course, then I’m going to have to explain why I don’t just call my parents. Shit, she was right to break up with me. But she’s my only hope. I slouch down, then move to the back seat in the hopes of drawing less attention to myself if anyone looks down into my car. After a surprisingly short time, I get a text back.

‘Where are you?’

Oh thank you for not asking questions I don’t know how to answer. ‘Outside the bar, in my car.’

‘I’m not a taxi service.’ What? I reread my previous text. Shit shit shit. I have to clear that up.

‘It’s not a drunk thing. I am very sober right now. Please help me.’ Perfect.

‘Then you can drive yourself.’

‘Please, I don’t have any one else to ask, and I can’t do this alone.’ I hit send, but I know how lame that sounds. Fuck, I have ****. I send another before she can respond. ‘It’s about what’s on the news.’ Excellent. The news is far too serious for her to ignore, but I don’t have to explain why I’m a tiny blue haired girl. At least, not yet.

My phone starts ringing. Oh crap. Why! She’s going to hear my voice and think this is some kind of prank! I panic and reject the call. Shit. ‘My voice isn’t working great right now. Please just come. I’ll do anything. I’ll owe you forever.’

‘Fine, I’ll be there in a few.’ I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding. I peak out and see that the outside world is aggressively bright with the sun coming up. After I manage to cover my eyes enough to see past that, a small crowd has gathered nearby the lizard man. I see a police car with lights flashing pull up, but that’s it. For a report of a monster, I would have thought more people would have showed up. At least two cops. But no, just the one. I duck back down, not wanting to risk being seen.

‘What the fuck is going on, the news is full of monster reports. What happened to you? Are you okay?’ Shit, she must be listening to the news in her car.

‘I’m not injured, but I’m not okay. Please come fast.’

‘Stop with the cryptic bullshit. What’s happening?’ I hope she’s using speak to text. Otherwise her driving is very dangerous right now.

I don’t know what to say. Oh, wait. Actually there is one thing she needs to know right now. ‘When you get here don’t look for my red car. It became brown. Otherwise it’s the same.’

‘I said stop with the cryptic bullshit. What do you mean your car became brown?’

‘I don’t know how, but it’s brown now. Honestly figuring that out is a low priority right now. Please hurry.’

I see her begin to text, but then she stops. The icon goes away. Hopefully that means she’s almost here. And then I have to convince her that I’m me. And if I fail, there might be two bodies for people to gawk at on this street. Oh shit I didn’t think this through. There’s even a cop here who could help finish me off. Fuck fuck fuck.

‘I see your car. It’s the same red it’s always been. You better not be drunk and just watching the news scared.’ What does she mean the same red as always? Definitely not. Maybe she’s at the wrong car? It’s all my stuff in here, so this is the right car. Shit, she’s almost here.

‘Please don’t freak out about how I look right now.’ I hear someone coming and hide down on the floor of the back seat. Suddenly there’s a knock on my window.

I look up, and see Sasha’s shoulder length blond hair surrounding her pretty face. She was always out of my league, but she liked how I always kept to myself. If I’m honest I was more her big pet introvert than a proper boyfriend, but I did try. Her brown eyes lock on to mine, and we just stare at each other for a few moments. Brown? She has green eyes.

She opens the door and slides in, so I back up so I’m on the floor opposite her seat. With her sitting in the seat and me crouching on the floor, the size difference between us was stark. She wasn’t short, but I always did stand above her. Finally she speaks. “James?” Her voice is tentative; clearly not scared of me, which is good, but not really sure what to make of this.

“… Thasha…” okay, voice is still high pitch and girly. And my new mouth comes with a lisp. Great.

“What… how did this happen?!” She sounds mad at me. I can’t help but cringe down. I’ve never really been scared of Sasha beyond disappointing her. She’s clearly trying to keep her voice down, but that just means she’s whispering with an intimidating hiss. “Why are you a little green goblin, and why are you cute?!”

“Green? I’m not green.” I look down at my skin. It’s definitely not the same color it was before, but the slight shade change seems pretty irrelevant in the face of everything else.

“I’m not blind. I can see you’re green. What the hell James, this isn’t the time for jokes.”

I cower even lower down. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I woke up looking like thith. I have blue hair and I’m thuper short. None of my clothth fit. And I don’t thee any green thkin.” I try to be calm, but my voice just gets whinier and more scared as I keep talking. “I, I need help.” I blink faster, willing my eyes to stay dry.

“… you said your car changed color?” Unsure what her point is, I just nod. “Whatever happened must have also made you partially color blind. Yes, you are green right now.” That… makes perfect sense. I calm down a little now that I have at least one mystery solved. “Why didn’t you call your parents? Have them come pick you up?”

And there’s the question I was really hoping wouldn’t be asked. “… they’re dead.”

“Oh my god I’m so sorry. What happened? They seemed healthy when I last saw them.”

“… houth fire.” She hasn’t asked the worst question yet. Maybe she won’t?

“When? Yesterday? Is that why you were drinking?” Shit.

“No… two monthth ago.”

“…”

“…”

“Where are you staying right now?”

“… my car mothtly?”

She sighs heavily. “Okay, it’s fine. First we take you to a doctor. Then we worry about where you sleep.”

“No! They shoot people right now! That lady killed a big lithard thing that came out of her houth. Her houth!”

“So?” Sasha looks confused for a moment, before comprehension dawns on her. “Oh my god. The monsters are people.” Sasha looks at me with greater determination. “Okay, no one should look closely at you if you hold my hand. You get in my car and I drive you home. I try and contact people to calm things down after you are safe. And you explain to me once we get home why I’m just now hearing about your parents dying when we were dating two months ago.”

She takes my hand and pulls me up, opening the door and stepping out. I follow her, since I don’t really have a choice. She’s right. I look small and harmless, outside of my strange smile, so even if someone notices something off they should ignore it if I’m with someone else who’s acting normal. We manage to get into her car, me in the back again, and she begins driving off. I want to relax now, but my whole body is tense and ready for whatever madness is going to happen next.