The End of A Chapter - And Some Shit Happens Too.

-Earlier -

Zatanna stepped into the elevator and began the long descent to the bottommost level. A low hum echoing throughout the small room's interior; drowned out by the soothing elevator music. As she was brought lower and lower, her mind raced through possibilities on what exactly would be waiting for her in the Containment Facility.

With the area being one of the most dangerous sections of the Watchtower, it is off limits to the visiting guests; and also being regularly kept and monitored, a simple mechanical error causing the cameras to flicker out, shouldn't be possible. If anything, the fact that no other camera feed went out is reason enough to worry that something unusual is afoot. If they had a breach- which, while shouldn't be possible with their extensive technical security, is still very plausible- All the monitors should have gone out; hell, it would make more sense for the entire station's power to blow altogether. If some villain were planning an attack on this important day, it would be easily assumed that they would go big or go broke.

But on the contrary- only three of the sixty-eight cameras decided to forget how to function. Almost as if someone were trying to go under the radar, so to speak. That thought, right there, is what's causing worry in Zatanna.

A big blown out attack? Sure, she can handle that without a sweat- or, maybe a bit of sweating. But a thought out, cautious, and carefully crafted breach? That's something to get stressed over.

Frankly, this entire open house ploy to get the Justice League on the people's good side doesn't mean much of anything to her. There's plenty of ways to gain people's trust, and turning this base of operation into a museum is extremely low on her list of ideas. But they had a vote, and the majority leaned against her, so it is what it is. Though, if push comes to shove, and there is a danger on board; she'll be **** to transport the guests down to Earth. Which, while most of the League would be distraught, they'd all realize that if the anyone got injured under their care, the whole goal of this event would ultimately backfire. And even though she would love any reason at all to cut the expo as soon as possible; an attack on the Watchtower is one of the few exceptions to her previous 'any reason at all' thought.

"Please just be a false alarm," Zatanna said to the ceiling of the elevator, arms crossed over her chest and leaning on the backmost wall. "I already have a ridiculous amount of crap on my plate today." She squeezed her eyes shut and brought a white-gloved hand to her brow.

*Ding*

Her eyes shot open, and she lowered her head to see what lies behind the elevator's automatic door. And she can't even be surprised when she sees utter pitch-black darkness with a few flickering red lights, glowing ominously in the distance, creating a faint red glow on her figure.

*Sigh*

"I'm going to need a bigger plate."

"Now what?" *Crunch* "I'm not used to Plan-A going this smoothly, so I'm a bit at a loss."

Batman, tapping idly at his wrist, took a brief glance towards The speedster before looking back down to his wrist. "Where did you get that cereal from?"

*Crunch* "I-"

"Uhhh- Excuse me?"

Both men pause to look down at the teen on the floor for almost a minute of silence.

*

*

*

*

"I had this the whole time." The Flash says to Batman, ignoring Sam on the ground.

"No, you did not."

"Yes, I did."

"I highly doubt it."

"Um- Hello?"

The heroes take another break from there conversation and stare at Sam for the second time.

*

*

*

*

"Well, obviously, you weren't paying attention." The Flash continues as if Sam wasn't there.

"I'm always paying attention."

"Yeah?" *Crunch* "Where did the cereal come from then?" Flash asks loudly with a mouthful of cereal, dropping crumbs on the boy below, causing him to flinch.

"Of course, I do not know, that is why I am asking."

"Harhar" Sam remarks. "I get it, you're acting like this is all normal, but- Seriously, how long do you plan on ignoring me!?"

The men stare at him for multiple moments before The Flash finally pipes up.

"I dunno bats, how long are we gonna ignore him?"

"I say we can neglect him quite a bit once you run him over to cell 16-B," Batman says while typing something on his wrist pad. "I am prepping it currently; you can drop him off. We'll figure out what to do with him later."

"Really? But I was hoping we could mess with him some more." The Flash says with a sigh. "You know, really rub some salt into the wound."

"Yeah, stop acting like a child."

"Whuh- Me!? You're the one demanding to know where I stash my cereal!"

"I was genuinely curious. But now that you are making such a massive deal over it-"

"C- Cell 16?" Sam interrupts.

"Did the man stutter?" Flash addresses Sam after lifting him up on his feet in the blink of an eye. "Batman never stutters!"

"I do, on occasion."

"Okay, he does on occasion."

"I- Uh-" Sam begins-

"Alright, whatever, I'll lock him up," Flash places a hand on Sam's shoulder. Yellow sparks of electricity begin to dance across his body.

"Wait, wait, wait!" Sam starts to protest. "It wasn-"

*Flash*

With a streak of yellow light, they're gone; leaving a lone box of cereal in their place.

Batman stares at the forgotten food for a few seconds, before turning around to face the frozen heroine left bottomless poised against the wall in a somewhat 'provocative' position; gutting her ass out as if in preparation for an inspection.

"This, is problematic."

*Flash*

"I know, right?"

Upon turning back around, Batman spies The Flash holding Sam with a hand on his shoulder.

"What?"

"Okay, okay, hear me out." Flash began, "So I was running down to the cells. But I hear this kid yell something like, 'It wasn't my fault! The earrings made me do it!'"

"And?"

"And I was like, 'Woah,' what if the guy's telling the truth? What if the earring was evil or some crap? This kid could be completely innocent!"

"So, you brought him back here, why?"

"I dunno-" The Flash glanced around the metal hallway and raised his second hand to the back of his head. "Just thought you'd be able to tell his the kids being legit or not."

"Well if you're looking for my opinion on the matter; no, I don't believe him."

"Yeah but- you don't trust anyone."

"And you know of this, so why are you asking me?"

"I dunno, I just-"

"You expect me to pull out a lie detector?"

"Exactly!"

"Well, I do not have one strapped to my waist twenty-four-seven, so I don't understand what you want from me." Batman pauses, thinking to himself before continuing. "I personally don't believe him, but since we do not have an ample amount of information about this situation, what he is claiming could be a possible possibility."

"Then what? Should I go find Wonder Slut and barrow her lasso?"

"I presume so," Batman says, switching his focus back on to Hawkgirl. "But don't just carry him around, lock him up and we can ask the required questions when the time presents itself."

"Alright, then." Flash mumbles, "You're the boss." Electric sparks begin to form around him, but before he could start his treck down to the holding cells, Batman raises a hand singling him to stop.

"Wait."

"Huh?"

Batman looks to be deep in thought, staring intently in Hawkgirl's general direction.

"Now might be the time for questions." He says, turning around to face Sam. "What exactly did you do to her?"

Now, this is dark.

Like, not too dark.

Not the 'horror movie/video game' dark.

And it's not just 'barely any dark' type of dark.

No, this is more on the lines of just 'dark.'

Dark enough to bring anyone who wanders down here to the conclusion that something is fucked.

"Okay then," Zatanna says to herself, stepping out of the elevator into the dark narrow hallway ahead of her. "I should probably call for backup." She stops in the hallway, right before the entrance opens up to the wider room where the multiple containment cells are held. Something went off down here, leaving this whole level entirely powerless; meaning that, unfortunately, all of the cell's forcefields would shut down with along with everything else. Providing whoever might be locked behind said fields the perfect opportunity at freedom. Well- limited freedom since they'll still be stuck in a base full of superheroes-

And innocent civilians! "Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit!" She says in a panic

She was about to step foot into the dark room when an internal thought held her back. "Wait a second Zee- Don't lose your cool, nothing good happens when you lose your cool." She mumbled to herself. It was about six hours ago last time she was here- Or, was it five? Seven? Well, the suns beginning to set so it must've been around six or seven; she really lost track of time after been fucked by that perverted teen. Either way, it wasn't more than a whole day; she transported here to drop off the earrings with Wonder Slut, (a large mistake on her part, looking back at it) and threw that assassin into a cell.

But with the exception of the aforementioned assassin, there were no other criminals in containment, for obvious reasons; having murderous villains on board during the expo wouldn't have been the smartest idea. So the assassin- What was her name again? C- Cheshire. She should be the only crook on the loose; in fact, she's probably lurking around somewhere in this very room, looking to strike when the moment's right.

Zatanna slowly extended a hand to her head in search for her top hat, only to find it missing in action.

"What?" She said to herself, patting at her head wildly. "Where did- Oahhh, shit." Zatanna half sighed, half groaned. That teenager took it from her, right off her head; why did she let him take the fucking thing again? That hat's not only expensive as shit, but it's been bewitched with over six-teen hexes. She enchanted it to the point where it can store a practically endless amount of crap. Next time she bumps into him she's taking the hat back. For goodness sake, all of her wands are in there! There are some extra ones at Shadowcrest but there's not enough time go there and back.

"Fine, fine, whatever." She grunted, "Screw the wand, I'll do it the old fashioned way."

Closing her eyes Zatanna cupped both hands below her mouth and whispered something into her hand until it began to glow and tremble. Her eyes shot open and she uncapped her hands, releasing a miniature white orb of light into the dark room ahead of her; the orb continued to race forward until it halted at the middle of the room, it expanded- shrunk- then exploded in a flash of white. Waves of light flew in every which direction, hitting the metallic flooring ceiling and wall; but instead of bouncing off, the light sunk into the metal, causing the entire room to glow with a white aura.

"Hell yeah! I still got it!" Zatanna practically squealed like a school girl, jumping up and down lightly, not noticing the effect it had on her braless breasts, causing them to go flying in their home of a corset. "And John claims I rely on relics too much, please." She says, slapping her hands together as if to remove dust.

She steps to the now glowing space, noting that every cell is actually empty. Cheshire must've gotten out of dodge while she had the chance, which is worrisome; an assassin lose on the ship full of innocent civilians isn't good for anyone.

"Great, just great. I was half hoping she'd attack me, at least then I'd know where she was." Looking around the room, she sighs and begins heading for the opposing elevator, "Well since there's no one down here I might as well tell the rest of the-"

"Hey!" *Munch* "No need to pout, I'm here ain't I?" A voice rings out from the cell directly to her left.

"The hell!?" Zatanna gasps, stumbling backward in momentary shock.

Sitting in the cell on the bed against the wall is the Joker himself, banana in hand, idly munching as if nothing is amiss. He pauses his chewing and stares at her incredulously. "What?" He looks from her, down to his banana, then back up to her face. "You want some? Just use your words woman, I actually have another one, give me a second." He reaches a hand into his purple coat, fumbling for something.

Zatanna shakes herself out of her shock and glares at him, "Don't even go in there."

"Don't go in- What you mean my coat?" His eyes bounce from her face down to his hand in his top. "Sorry deary, my hands already in no-no zone."

"Well then don't- Just- Keep your hand in there!"

"Or else what?" He grins at her, his wide red lips reaching ridiculous lengths on his face. "You're gonna blast me with your fingers or your fists?"

"My what?" She glanced down to her outstretched hand and cursed. "Shit, I miss my wand. And my hat, my wand and my hat!"

"I dunno, I like my girls without hats, they look more natural."

"Yeah, I'm not one of your girls." Zatanna claps her hands together and raises them to her face before murmuring something into her cupped palms.

"You go girl!" The Joker laughs, "Use those hands! You're gonna need 'em to open this here banana!" He flings a banana out from the inside of his coat. It flies towards Zatanna's feet, landing on the floor pathetically.

Zatanna on her part instinctively jumped back, finishing her incantation in the air she opened her hands. Causing two clear magical chains to shoot out of her palms in the Jokers direction; they both homed in and wrap around the villain snaring him to the bed.

"Wo ho-ho, tight."

Zatanna gives him a dumbfounded look, "Really? That's it- What- W- What are you planning- No- What are you even doing up here in space?"

"What am I planning here? Or what am I doing here? Pick one."

"No, I think I want you to answer both." She says, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Heh- Well okay fine then, I dunno why you're so violent, not like I was even doing anything." He mumbles. "I'm not even sure you have time to hear me out, looks to me like that banana down there's 'bout to expire."

Zatanna gaze slips downwards to the fruit he hurled onto the floor, seconds before it erupted, hurling out a blast of green gas.

I'm not much, nothing too special. Before today I was just a normal dude. A slightly more perverted dude, at least compared to most other people my age; but I was still just a dude. I didn't have any tremendously impressive skills. I had like- three people I'd consider friends. Well, I guess it's two since my sister decided she hates my guts; after what? Just a couple of advancements on my end? Actually no, her hatred for me is entirely my fault, I retract that statement, I could've been a much better brother.

Without the earrings, I'm back to my pathetic self, nothing to be proud of, nothing that'll make onlookers ake with envy. If anything, people will be glad not to be me; and why wouldn't they? Current Sam has no redeeming attributes, an absent father, barely any friends, an attractive sister who hates his guts because he was a shit brother, a mother who-

Ya'know I actually have a pretty good mom, so I guess that's a plus; she's a good looking woman who doesn't dislike me, never thought I'd see the day. But other than that, what do I have going for me?

And don't bring up the Willies, they are NOT an upside. For goodness sake, they're like a bunch of fucking parasites, they show their faces at the most inopportune moments and end up making me do shit I regret during my post nut self-reflection.

I'm not even sure whether they exist or are just a component of my consciousness. Yeah, Huge Hector, Tremendous Trever, and especially Gargantuan Grayson can grow to amply impressive sizes. But, in the grand scheme of things, how practical can that be in everyday life? I don't see them helping me get a job at any place other than a gay strip club. And with how impressive their sizes are, I don't see anyone taking note of how pathetically small Little Willy is; he's like the size of my fucking palm. And let me tell you, I have some comedically small palms. Big Billy is basically the size of your average erection, but he's not my base form, meaning whether I like it or not; I am pathetically pathetic in every aspect of my life.

Being busted by two superheroes without my earrings on, I have nothing to protect myself; nothing amazing at least. There's only one thing I can think of at this very moment. One thing I can do to help minimize my punishment for as long as physically possible.

Lie.

What else can I do? Tell the truth? HA! Don't. Make. Me. Laugh.

"You think we traumatized the kid?" The Flash says, waving a hand at lightning speed in front of my face. Causing a nice cool breeze I might add, like a fan in the wind; two times the air flow!

"If we did it's what he deserves, especially after everything he has done here."

"I- I have no idea what happened, the last thing I remember was putting on one of the earrings, then-"

"From the woman's restroom," Batman interjected.

"What?"

"Yeah, I agree with him." The Flash said, "What?"

"Apparently there was such a thing called the woman's and men's restrooms for both genders respectively." Batman pointed an accusing finger towards me. "But he removed that divide."

"Wait wait wait a sec, you're going too fast for me." The Flash shakes his head and zooms away from me, pacing forwards and back on the other end of the hall. "So you're saying there used to be two public bathrooms for every eight we have now!? That's like- one- two- four- Sixteen bathrooms!"

"Exactly."

"Well then if anything, what he did was help us clear out a shit load of unnecessary clutter."

"I assumed so at first, but after considering it, I have to disagree. So far he's never done anything to help or benefit anyone other than himself; I believe that this change was made to further his perverted desires."

"Well, I guess..."

"Try to imagine a world where men and women don't share the same restroom, I can easily see a lot less male and female interaction occurring because of which."

"And he does enjoy male and female interaction..." The Flash agrees.

Shit, he's onto me; what a surprise, he's fucking Batman! How does he even know what changes I made? It should be normal for him. I don't understannnnnnd!

"Wait how did I not catch this normality? I was watching the cameras the entire time?" Flash said.

Oahhh, that's how they caught me. Even still, I made multiple changes in front of peoples faces before, and to them, I was just stating the obvious; so how do these heroes know that things aren't how they're meant to be?

"He made this change when he entered the restroom after Supergirl,"

"Yeah, the place that had no cameras. Then how did you-"

"I have access to hidden cameras in every restroom in the Watchtower."

"I-" Flash stuttered, "I'm not surprised."

Well, I am. This whole situation is entirely fucked.

"What are you talking about? A world were men and women had their own separate bathrooms? Unbelievable!"

"Right." Bateman's expression showed that of pure disinterest; not the good type of disinterest that I have become accustomed to I might add. His face showed more of a, 'I'm not wasting time with your bullshit' type of expression. "He's not going to be cooperative," Batman turned away to face Hawkgirl. "Give me an earring." He said, addressing Flashing with an outstretched hand.

"Uhh, okay." *Zoom* "But I'm not so sure you should put it on." He says as he hands over one of the earrings. "What if it does have corruption type properties?"

"I'm not putting it on," Batman says, leaning in next to Hawkgirl's frozen figure. "She is."

Woah Woah Woah Woah, why the hell would he equipping her with the earrings? Shit, I'd be more comfortable with Batman having them on, but Hawkgirl? She saved my fucking life and in response, I bent her to my perverted desires. Lord knows how pissed off she'd be towards the teen that violated her; and if she has the earrings, I might end up obtaining a fair punishment. Fair is not one of the words in my admittedly small vocabulary.

*Clip*

Batman clipped the earring onto Hawkgirl's own lobe, causing an immediate shift from her frozen state. Life seemed to return to her as her head shot up like a deer in headlights. Red hair bobbed and weaved while she glanced around her, still facing the wall she was poised against moments prior. Slowly, she shifted herself around, noticing the three men staring her down expectantly.

"Uh- Uhhhmm." She began, hesitantly. "What.. Are.. you.. guys... doing?" A look of pure confusion sketched onto her facial features. She began glancing all around the hall, every which way, searching for something obvious that she is missing; when she paused as she felt a light breeze flow by her bottom half.

Before she could look downwards there was a yellow flash followed by a large burst of wind. The sudden action caused her to stagger for a moment; after quickly regaining her composer she glanced downwards as she originally ended to do. But nothing caught her attention, her spandex leggins were on as they should; but- what caused her to feel as though she were in this facility bare? That cool breeze she felt couldn't have been possible with her current attire. The material may be thin and remarkably tight, but it's also extremely resisted to abnormal shifts in temperature.

"Whuh-" Hawkgirl began, raising her arms up in an exasperated expression. "What is going on?!"

"Nothing! Nothing at all!" Flash quickly responded.

"Y- Yeah, What he said!" I agreed, visible sweat begins to secrete from my pores. I only sweat like this when either-

A: I Overly Masturbate.

or

B: Realize I am severely fucked.

This situation is 'B' by the way.

"You were bottomless because this guy here decided to use reality altering artifacts to violate you consequence-free," Batman said.

"Shit," I muttered to myself.

"I'm sorry, what?"

"Bats come on! You didn't have to just dump the whole truckload on her like that." The Flash said in a dismayed tone.

"And you didn't have to put her clothes back on then act like nothing happened."

"I just didn't want her to freak out!"

"Wait, you- You dressed me?" Hawkgirl took a few steps away from the men, instinctively wrapping her arms around her waist. "What the hell?"

"Is that seriously the only take away you're picking up from this!?" Flash said before he zoomed behind me **** me into the forefront. "This guy stripped you down and groped you in ways I'm pretty sure only Hall is allowed to do."

Hawkgirl blushed, before shaking her head. "I don't recall such a thing happening."

"Yeah, cause he froze you somehow."

"Well-" I began in a quiet voice, "He is making this whole thing sound a lot worse than it actually is."

"No, I am not!"

"Yes you are."

"No. I. Am. Not!"

"Yes you are."

"Bats back me up here!"

Batman sighed, then turned to address Hawkgirl. "This individual happened uppon magical artifacts that can change one's perception of reality, and he used those abilities to have his way with a large amount of the ships female occupancy.

"Wonder Slut, Canary, Zatanna, Supergirl, you! He even perved on his own sister! A dirty man at heart, him! Not me! Him!!"

"It- Wasn't- Me?"

"You know I was gonna consider the fact that you didn't have a grasp on your actions, but now I'm calling bullshit! You tried to flip this situation me! Wh- What are trying to accomplish here?"

"I'm trying not to get killed by a ****-filled heroine. "

"Okay wait," Hawkgirl said, raising a hand to her temple as she contemplated their words. Her eyes winded as she thought back, and disgust began to be apparent on her face. "You're right, holy shit you're right!" She backed up and rested her soft wings against the wall. "I don't know why, but I was doing some strange shit- provocative shit- But, I- I didn't realize how odd it was for some reason."

"Exactly you- Wait, why can she realize how screwed up things are? I'm used to people thinking everything's normal." Flash asked.

"The earrings seem to be parrels of each other, so I assumed one would counteract the other; effectively making her immune to whatever warping was done to her mind, and normalities made to the world in general. Now," Batman paused and addressed Hawkgirl. "Tell me, what's your thought on men and women sharing the same public bathrooms?"

"Um, it shouldn't be a thing?" She says questioningly as if she's answering a trick question. "I mean in your everyday home sure, but I can't imagine the things that would occur if-"

"Good so, what is a 'bra?'"

"Brab?" Flash piped in, "What's a brab?"

"A Bra?" Hawkgirl's face grew visibly red. "Bru- Batman, what-"

"It's a genuine question, what is a bra?"

"It's an article of clothing meant to hold breasts and prevent them from bounci- What are you asking this?"

"That's what I assumed they were for," Batman said to himself in a whisper. He then raised his head and motioned for Flash. "Remove the earring from her."

*Flash*

Hawkgirl studdered a bit and looked around bewildered, "Sto- Stop doing that!"

"Don't look at me." Flash said, "Just followin' orders."

Now during this whole exchange, I tried to do what I do best. Which is getting out of dodge when the gettings good, but I quickly realized that running out of gym class to peek on the girls on the track field is a bit different than running away from a superhero with super speed; needless to say, I didn't get far.

"I'm testing something. Now-"

"Hey hey!" Hawkgirl interjected, "I respect you and all, but I'm not on of your gin-"

"What's a bra?"

"I just- I just told you it's a-" She paused, "It's... I..... I... I...don't know... what are you even talking about?"

"Yes, the earring protects the user from any changes previously made; that is extremely useful information."

"So what?" The Flash said, "Are you gonna put it on and see the world how it used to be? Honestly, now I wanna try it out"

"No. We're still not a hundred percent certain it doesn't corrupt the user."

"Hawkgirl had it on!"

"Yes but only for a short moment of time, who knows what lasting effects it could have on someone; besides, something this influential deserves a League meeting. We need to discuss this with every member of the League, or at least as many as we can get together on such short notice."

"So, that guy had the ability to change reality without anyone realizing, and he used it to rock his socks off; on, practically any attractive woman he came across," Hawkgirl said, looking directly at me with the same disgusted and disappointed look that I have received for the majority of my life. "That's not just disgusting and immoral but- just- wrong and such a waste."

"Agreed," Batman said with a sigh, "We were luckily able to stop him before he went too far with you."

"Hey can you stop bringing that up," She shuddered, "I really don't want to think about what he did, okay?"

Okay, I get I'm not the most appealing guy in the world, but does she really have to be so repulsed by the thought; if I were her I'd- Actually Nah, I'd be disgusted by myself too, nevermind.

"It wasn't just us," Flash added, "Sups and- Erm- Yeah, just Sups- He was with us too but after seeing what Mr. Perverted did to his cousin he got a bit heated a flew off somewhere."

"Hey," I spoke up. "I was just wondering if I get a say in any of this."

"No." All three heroes say in unison.

"Okay..."

"And to think." Hawkgirl huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "I saved him from being crushed under a pile of rocks." She looked at me, "Do you genuinely not have any moral compass?"

"I do, it's just that when I get aroused, the boys come out to play and I take a back-seat."

"Yeah, this kids messed up in the head." Flash chimed.

"I'm not a kid!"

"Yeah, you're right, you should be tried as an adult for the crap you pulled."

"Wait, go back." Batman said, "You saved him? From what?"

"Uh-" Hawkgirl began, before halting midsentence as worried expression formed on her face. "Shit! This whole reality thing made me forget! I think The Joker might be planning something big."

"Ya'know, I'm gonna be honest, this isn't quite how I imagined I'd be spending my mid-afternoon."

"Yek- Yeah? Same here." Zatanna said through a gridded teeth finding it quite the struggle to keep her magical projected bubble out without a wand. Especially since she was caught off guard like this, the moment she spotted the gas she backed up into an open cell and cast the first protection spell that came to mind. It is possible for enchantments done by hand to be just as powerful, if not better than spells channeled through a magical crutch; but by golly, wands are just so much easier. Maybe this is for the best though, she definitely does needs a valid excuse to flex her mage muscles.

"Oh really?" The Joker strode on forward without a care in the world, stopping just a few feet before the cornered mage. "Seems to me like we have a lot in common." He speaks whilst standing directly in the midst of the mist, not seeming to take any notice of whatever gas he let loose.

"Sorry, I can't agree with you there."

"Let see about that," He said, tapping his chin. "What's your favorite color?"

*Grunt* "You first," She said, attempting to stall for enough time to find a way out of this mess. The protective bubble she's casting currently is meant mainly for quick protection, which; in that aspect, it did its job nicely. But keeping it up can be compared to a seal balancing a ball on its nose; while it would be pretty easy for a trained animal to do- Last time she checked, she's not an animal, and at any moment the ball's going to drop. Okay, that's a horrible analogy, but you get the point.

"Well, obviously I'm a purple man myself." He steps back and gestures at his attire. "Did you not notice?"

"No- Ugh- I didn't. But I like your suit, it's well-pressed"

"Well finally!" The Joker shouts with glee, raising his arms up in the air in triumph. "Someone appreciates the effort."

"Oh Y-Yeah," Zatanna gives him a fake smile, "From a fellow classy dresser I can respect the- Shit!" She curses as her grip to the field shudders, and the bubble's magical glow begins to fade.

"I feel like your whole strategy of distracting me isn't going so well for you dear." He reaches into his coat pocket, shaking his head, and pulls out a rotating pistol. He raises it to the air after studying it for a few moments and begins dutifully rubbing it before putting it back down and giving a meticulous spin to the rotating cylinder. "That cute bubble of yours doesn't look too stable." *Tsk* *Tsk* "I can't allow that, it's an obvious violation of our safety code."

Realizing what he's about to do Zatanna stammered. "W-Wait you-"

"Don't worry, I'm just checking to see if this field is up to snuff."

"Don-"

*Bang*

The simple gunshot was enough to break the already weak **** field, making it explode and break into multiple transparent shards. The blast sent her back, staggering until she struck the cell wall behind her.

"Awww shucks." He pouts in a mocking tone, walking up carelessly towards Zatanna crouched against the wall.

She brought both hands to her nose in a last attempt to block out the gas, but there wasn't much that would do against the dirty green fumes inching their way into the cell. Everything quickly began jagged and jarring; her vision, her vision bogged out in unexplainable ways. The Joker's bright white teeth were the only thing she could manage to maintain focus on as he stood over her. As everything went black, he laughed his way into her consciousness.

The Joker on his part had brimful of glee at how easily she went down, "I heard a lot about you miss magic lady and I- Actually I barely even remember who you are." He sighed and leaned down closer to her. "It's a shame though, you are a cute thing- And cute things can be used in many ways, Heheheh-" Stepping back, he brought a foot up and slammed his heel down hard on the **** heroine's hand with enough **** to feel a few finger-bones cacks. "Oh, that's going to hurt'cha a bit when you wake up," He says, adding a second stomp for good measure, making sure the hand is broken, or at least entirely unusable without substantial pain. Drawing a thumb to his lips he extended his long tongue and licked it in an exaggerated fashion. "But I had to make sure this hot piece of meat wasn't pulling a fast one on me." He said while leaning down beside the heroine, gripping her thick bottom lip with his now moistened thumb; pulling her lip out as far as he could from her face he played with absently, rubbing his secretion all around her lips, some even trickling into her mouth. His opposite hand silently rose, inching it's way to her impressively large bosom, looking like two subtly fruits, waiting to be picked. "But! Now is not the time for distractions." Joker stopped inches from her chest, and instead used his other hand to slap her face loudly like one would do to a car they were meaning to sell; he stepped away from her, allowing her lower lip to practically slap back into place after being stretched to its limit outwards. "I may have **** multiple people in my time, but they were almost never for my own enjoyment. I usually just do it to jab at-bats like- Oh, you're into Gordon's daughter? Ha! It would be a shame if someone were to take her virginity for no other reason than to-" He paused and looked back towards Zatanna. "I forgot- You're not hearing any of this...Heh-"

Gargling a bit in his own mouth, he walks up, and spits onto Zatannas knocked out face.

"Oops, I was aiming for your hair."

"Great, perfect timing," Batman said.

"Holy shiiiiiiiieeet!!" Flash exclaimed, "Was that- Sarcasm!? From Batman? Hawkgirl."

"Yeah?"

"Slap me."

"Whuh?" She said, taken aback that he'd even ask such a thing of her. "N- No, I'm not going to slap you."

"Do it."

"No!"

"DO IT!"

"Well if he wants you to do it so much I don't see why not." Batman said with a shrug.

"Ar- Are you guys serious?" Hawkgirl then glanced at me. "Are you messing with their heads."

"I am doing no such thing Mam." I say, trying to be as polite as possible.

"Don't 'Mam' me-" She said with narrow eyes.

"Look Hawkgirl, Batman was being sarcastic, how am I supposed to know if this is a dream or not!?" Flash points to his face, "I need you to slap me."

"I might knock a tooth out."

"Nu- How-" *Pause* "Wait, how strong are you again?"

"Show him," Batman pulls a batarang from his waistband and throws it into the wall next to her face.

She puts both hands on the weapon, after pulling it out of the metal, and snaps it in a matter of seconds; holding each half of the batarang in her palms. "See my point?"

"I see your point," Flash says matter of factly.

The thought to ditch crossed my mind for the umpteenth time, especially while they were arguing or whatever. But- honestly, at this point, I give up. Running would do nothing for me, without the earrings I'm not a normal man. I'm just a man, a pathetic man at that. They'd catch me, and I'd just make this whole situation worse than it already is, and it's extremely bad right now let me tell you. The Joker's allegedly here, and with Harley planting bombs all across the ship, trouble is sure to arise at any given moment. I even made shit worse by separating the girls from the rest of the tour group and making Wonder Slut believe it's normal to make-out with every female in the room. I mean she better be done by now, but I made it normal for her to suck faces with anyone that asks, and I also made everyone want to rub lips with her; so if so much as one person asks Wonder Slut to give them a smooch, she'd stop what she's doing to appeal to the request.

With Aquaman and Wonder Slut split up, Superman missing in action, and who the fuck knows where Canary, that bow guy, and Green Lantern are? Everyone here is severely fucked.

Now, if they were to give me the earring... I could fix this whole debacle. They definitely won't ever hand it back to me, but I guess one of them could use it; if they weren't cowards. The earrings don't corrupt anyone, all the shit I did was 100%, Samuel Dean. Yeah, I wish I could blame something else, but I'm just a horrible person- Though, by now, we all knew that!

"Okay, I'm going," Batman said, turning around to head to the elevator.

*Flash*

"Woah there nelly," Flash zoomed ahead of him, blocking his path. "What about the earring problem?"

"What problem? We dealt with it, now there's something more important to deal with."

"Sure, I get it. But what should we do then? We don't really know exactly what's going on."

"We know people are in danger, that's enough." Batman moved to walk around Flash, "You can bring the kid to your dorm and lock him in, the halls are not safe. And put both earrings into the vault, make sure-" He stopped, "No, keep them on you- Since we have a breach, leaving them in the vault might not be entirely dependable. With your abilities, they'd be best kept on your person."

"Well okay then."

"What about me?" Hawkgirl asks, "I could go with yo-"

"Hey why do you keep saying 'earrings?'" The Flash asks. "There's only one." He brings the earring out of a hidden pocket. "See?"

There's only one? But- Oahhhhhhhhh fuck! There's only one! I was getting so fucking aroused by Hawkgirl perfect physique that I entirely forgot that I took one of the earrings off! Back when I was under the rubble, I removed it so the normality effect would vanish and Hawkgirl would remember I exist. After she got me out, I just walked off with her, leaving that mystical jewelry behind. And now I couldn't be any fucking happier I did so! This is it, this is my second chance! They don't know where it is, and because of this villain attack, it's not like they have the time to search for it. The universe is having pity on me, and throwing me a bone, a bone that I will gladly take.

But I have to play my cards right, I have one chance.

"Y- Yes, of course, there's two." Batman turns back to face Flash, "Now isn't the time for jokes."

"No, I'm- Flash's honor! I am not pulling your leg, look!" He holds the earring up for Batman to see. "The kid only had one on him."

Batman stares at the ring for a few seconds, before turning to me. "Where's the other earring?" Causing me to gulp, his calm/dead tone showed so much emotion in so few words.

"Oh my god," Flash muttered, *Flash* "Where's the other earring!?" He says directly in front of me.

"He's right," Hawkgirl added, "I remember seeing two on him beforehand but the next time I saw him, after the explosion, he had only one." She then extended out her wings and flew to the ceiling. "Where's the other earring!?"

Ah Shit, Here We Go Again.

Having three superheroes glaring at you, demanding information you really don't want to give isn't really good on the psyche. This must be how villains feel when they're interrogated; and at this point, I basically am a villain. Yeah, I don't kill, but I fuck. Both can get you arrested these days.

But even with all these heroes on my ass, the urge to reclaim that buried earring is enough motivation to help me ignore the pestering. This whole dream will end if I tell them where it is, that's not something I'm ready to let happen just yet.

"I don't remember, honest to god I don't!" I lied, "After the explosion, I lost it somewhere in the rubble."

"Your ear seems to be intact, so it could've had just blown off," Hawkgirl said, still in the air with hands on her hips.

I have always thought that half lies can take you farther than real ones; hear me out. A lie by itself is bad enough, but half a lie is something else. It's a lie plunged into the water of truth, it's still predominantly a lie when it's pulled out, but it's got a little truth soaked in it. And that little bit of truth can open up the defenses of people, allowing even more of the lie to find its way into it.

"Okay okay, here's the truth. I took it off before the explosion because I was scared, I wanted to make sure Hawkgirl would notice me, and it's actually hard for people to pay attention to me when everything I do is normal. But after I removed it, 'BOOM!' The bomb went off and I went flying with it, so I don't know where it is, could be anywhere near the explosion."

The three of them looked at me, and then Batman sighed. "I don't have time for this." He turned around and headed back for the elevator.

"What- You're just going to leave him!?"

"He doesn't have the earrings on him, he can't do anything. And frankly, the Joker is a much bigger threat than that kid; at least with the earrings, he wasn't hurting anyone."

"I'd say I was hurt." Hawkgirl said, "Emotionally at least."

"Like I said, the Joker might actually kill people if we don't do anything. Flash, keep the earring you have on you and run around the station, I need you to search every nook and cranny, find the bombs and deactivate them."

"Um- Okay, but you sure we shouldn't look for-"

"The explosives are our main priority now." He tapped on a keypad to the elevator and turned around.

"I understand, but-" Hawkgirl lowered to the ground gracefully and began rubbing her arm. "Those earrings seem almost as dangerous."

"Almost, is the keyword." He stopped and thought to himself, "But you do have a point." The elevator signaled it's arrival with a *Ding*! "You should stay on this level with the teen and look for the earring. And if he doesn't talk- Use your mace to persuade him, the time for sympathy is over." And then the automatic doors closed leaving the three of us in silence.

"I- I don't know if I'm comfortable with him if I'm being honest."

"Like you haven't been groped before," Flash said mockingly.

"I have not! I've met some disturbing indivusulas, yes, but most people have enough common sense not to inappropriately touch a superhero!"

"Well I've been groped before so- I have no idea what you're on about."

"What?"

"But like Bat's said, without the earrings, he's just a normal guy; not a 'normal' guy, but a normal guy... Just keep an eye on him, and if you do find the earring, don't let him put it on!"

"Yeah, of course."

"Okay welp, good luck."

"You too..."

*Flash*

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"So nice weather today?"

"Shut up and go, we're finding that earring."

Oh, I hope one of us ends up stumbling across it.

I realized something GAME CHANGING.

Something I hope to hell they haven't thought of themselves.

Now, first, I came to an obstacle. You see, Hawkgirl was eyeing me like a- well- Hawk. She stayed behind me, watching my every movement, and I was frankly becoming a bit self-conscious; I like to believe my prostate isn't too bad to look at, but I will admit that it's not the best fruit in three. or even the 2nd best, or the 3rd- or the 19th- or the 43rd- or-

You get the point.

But having her behind me the whole time. Well, I felt the same way I assume female feel when I check them out; having someone a short distance off, staring at your every movement... It's strange, I'll tell you that. This is karma if I do say so myself. But whatever, I was too busy brainstorming on how I was going to get the earring without her noticing. I remember exactly where I dropped it, but the moment I pick it up, she'd be on my faster than I can say trampoline fast.

And-

I honestly can't say trampoline that fast but- She'd still be on my ass before I could clip it on.

But that's when I noticed something. As we were walking down the hall to the open area where shit when down moments prior. I spared a glance behind me, mainly to see how far back Hawkgirl was; unsurprisingly she was only a few steps back, but that's not what caught my eye. No, my eyes naturally drew to her impressive hips, her breasts are average sized, large for most women, but average in the superhero industry. But her hips, on the other hand, were made to produce children. So I naturally spared a glance downwards, and yes, she caught me the second my eye landed on her hourglass midriff.

"Hey! Eyes up here, I'm not playing around." She said in a threatening manner, her faces saying. 'Fuck with me, I dare you.'

"S- Sorry" I stammered, turned around and kept walking. But facing forwards again, she didn't notice my grin. See, when I looked back, I noticed how she was walking; her hips were swinging like a stripper on her way to the stripping pole. Left right left right, I was only able to look for half a second, but it was enough to bring me to the realization.

I might not have the earrings, but all the normalities are still in effect. And while I might not recall all of them, the ones I made specifically for her are still very fresh in my mind. And I can **** them.

Now, back to the present.

We're currently in the open area I landed in after the explosion, it seems to be a lounge room from the looks of it, but that's not important. Hawkgirl leaning against the wall to the side with her arms crossed under her breasts.

She looked at me expectantly, "So? Start searching. You spent so much time getting off to women, the least you can do is spend just as much time searching through these scraps."

"I mean, yeah that is fair. But actually, I think it might be in the pile to your left."

"This?" She asks pointing to the pile of rubble on the floor next to her.

"Mhm,"

"That's my right."

"Right, left, same thing."

She sighed and bent down to rifle through the rubble, "It's really not." And just as I expected, she bent down at a perfect 90° angle; as all 'normal' women do. Her amazingly thick ass swished in the air as she wiggled it left and right. A became transfixed on her behind, looking like a ripe fruit ready to be eating. Peeked at me through the corner of her vision, and then her whole head turned to face me. "What?" She asked with a questioning look. "Don't stare at me like that." Her ass her still swinging in the air absently as she looks at me from her bent over position; both breasts hanging like pendulums, waiting for someone to slap them. "God what a creep." She mumbles as she turns back to the pile.

Oh, I am a creep, hell I want her to wiggle her ass in my face while I dive in between her cheeks and breath her natural womanly scent. And I can do just that soon enough! Glancing around I find the actual pile the earring is located in and dash towards it while Hawkgirl is busy with her own search.

What I didn't account for is the fact that she still had her third eye set on watch, the moment I reached the pile she was on me. With a *Woosh* and a gust of wind she had me by the back of my shirt, holding me mere inches away from her own gorgeous face.

"You're not pulling a fast one on me." She looks down to the pile I was after. "So it's in here huh?"

*Thump*

I fall on the floor after she lets go of me behind her, then bending down she begins searching through the rubble with the actual earring. Shit, I need to do something! But, all I can think of is her butt! She waving right in my face, like a fucking pendent hypnotizing me. I lean in closer, as close as I possibly can without touching her, and breath in. Shiiiet, that smell is arousing as fuck! It's hard to pick up since my face isn't actually in her ass; but after her fight with Harley and multiple walks through the hallway, she's accumulated quite the sweat. Hot dam. I close my eyes, taking in her musk, Big Billy beginning to slowly pop back out as I imagine rubbing my face all across her warm sweaty skin.

But three words snapped me out, Billy even disappeared without a fight, he too realized the importance of this very moment.

"Is this it!?"

"N- No I don't think that's-"

"I found it!" Leaning up swiftly she steped back, her pillowy ass colliding with my face bouncing me backward. But she didn't seem to notice, or she simply didn't care as she held the normality earring up in the light. "And to think I almost let you have this, Heh- You won't be taking this from me now, that's for dam sure."

"Shit."

"Yeah I'll be holding onto this like glue," Hawkgirl says, tossing up and down in her palm. "I should probably put it on, just so you can't pull any fast ones..." She ponders.

No no no no! If she puts that on she'll not only be immune to all the normality changes, but that'll guarantee I never get them back in my possession. Come on Sam for once in your life, work for something, think! What can I do, use all that brain power I waste daydreaming about Powergirl's tits, if Hawkgirl takes the earrings, I'll never get the chance to stick my head through that hole in her suit and motorboat Powergirl's funbags!

But at that moment, something happened; something amazing. It was as if Lil Willy, Big Billy, Huge Hector, and the entire Willy family all decided to help out and work in tandem with me to achieve that one thing we all desire.

As I sat there on my knees, hopeless, watching Hawkgirl contemplate putting the earring on and ending my whole adventure. My cock twitched as my eyes shifted downwards to land on her ass. I got hard, like hard hard; fast. But unlike before, when I get aroused and lose control. I knew exactly what I was doing. Then a thought popped into my head as I stared directly at her plump ass. No, a question-

"Hey Hawkgirl, can you show me your butt?"

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"Sure." She responds casually before her expression immediately turns expressionless. Dropping the earring onto the floor, she slowly begins to remove her pants.

-End of Part I-