The Doctah is In

You walked further down the hallway, trying to find somewhere to recollect yourself when you passed the last cell, hearing a soft chittering sound.

Immediately, you spotted the woman sitting on the bed, knees pulled to her chest, platinum hair with numerous streaks of color in it pulled tightly around her, her skin the wrong shade of white, like she'd rolled in chalk and as she snapped towards you, her crimson eyes stood out with ease.

"Hey, I thought you said you didn't have any more patients, who's this then?" You called as Lamplighter noticed you standing in front of the... unlocked door as it softly creaked in the wind.

"Oh, she's not a patient... not really, this Dr. Bullet." Lamplighter said, holding a pager in his hand.

"Dr. Bullet?" You pointedly inquired.

"Yeah, uhmm, she was the lead doctor over the project up to about six months ago. She got really attached to one of the patients, a Joel Kern, but he reacted badly to the injection, and it drove him crazy. We had to remove him eventually, and she took it really hard, stopped taking care of herself, would get distracted, kept giggling. That was his cell, I guess she goes there to... I don't know." Lamplighter explained, already turning away.

"Hey, we gotta go, something tripped the alarms outside." He continued as you waved your hand.

"You go ahead; I'll catch up in a minute." You said, turning back to the slightly ajar door. You slipped inside, the good doctor ignoring you as you crossed the threshold.

It would probably seem strange to just enter an apparent patient's cell, but Lamlighter had said she wasn't really a patient, just off, kind of like his description of her.

"He ain't right." She said, suddenly facing you, eyes open just a bit too wide to be normal, not to mention the way her mouth curled when she spoke. "It's not Bullet, it's Boulet, Tea Boulet, Dr. Tea Boulet, Dr. Tea Boulet Esq., hehe." She clarified, breaking into soft giggles.

Her voice was caught somewhere between French and E-girl, the accent audibly but her voice would crack on several words into a shrill squeak.

"You must be feelin' pretty brave to step into a loony's bin. Or maybe you're feelin' a special kinda way, huh, wanna take advantage of a defenseless little girlypop?" Tea was twirling her hair around her finger, smirking at some inside joke.

"Boulet, is that French?" You asked, gently pushing the door shut behind you.

"Quebecoise, for your information, none of that fancy froggy stuff. Couldn't you tell from the accent, or do you think I talk like this for fun." Dr. Boulet said, rolling her eyes.

"Are you having fun?" You pressed, the blonde looking at you with a head cocked like a confused puppy.

"Hmm, whatcha mean, can't you see I'm having a barrel of laughs, buddy, time of my fucking life." She said, poking you in the chest, which only further confirmed your suspicions.

"I mean, I'm confused what you're doing here. The guard thinks you've lost it, but they haven't locked you up here or got rid of you for knowing too much. The door was even left unlocked and open so you can wander the facility, so it makes me wonder if there's something missing." You pointed out, advancing on the supposedly mentally absent woman.

"He mentioned you went downhill after a patient of yours, a Mr. Joel Kern, reacted badly to the V and had to be removed. But you definitely haven't let yourself go, if anything, I'd say you're doing better than ever." You argued as she fell back on the cot, withdrawing into herself.

"You think I look good, don't be silly mista', I'm a wreck here, falling apart, practically camping out on Death's door." Tea diverted, earning an eye twitch.

"In my experience, people about to die, or people that should be locked up, don't have access to hair dye, and I can tell you are far from wasting away, you're a bombshell, your hair is well maintained and certainly not a home dye job, and most importantly your skin is lacking sunlight, it's more supple than a woman with your career or supposed backstory should be." You needled.

"Oh, my sweetie pie, he always had the best jokes, he made us all laugh, and he always had the biggest smile, like nothing was wrong, but it was, he couldn't handle it. Why does the best people have to go through the worst things?" She lamented, tears pooling in her eyes as they shifted to a much softer brown.

"I couldn't tell you, but I can tell you were close. Is that why you injected yourself, to be closer to him?" You said, patting her back.

"Hehe, as if! I'm all-natural baby, blessed with brains and boobies!" Tea argued, fondling herself as you tried to decide whether to roll your eyes or stare.

Apparently she read more into your look than you intended as she placed a hand over her heart, "I totally swear, I just missed my sweetie so badly that I wished that I could have a part of him to keep, and then boom, I got this catchy hair, and my skin changed, and before I knew it, I could feel him with me, like he was hugging me all the time and whispering in my ear." The blonde defended herself with such passion that you were actually starting to believe she was genuinely crazy.

"And I transfused some of his blood samples." You choked, eyes nearly falling out of your skull at her blase declaration.

"Excuse me, please run that by me again." You ordered as she pulled a nailfile from somewhere, buffing her nails like she was talking on the phone.

"Oh please, don't be such a killjoy. I did all the tests before hand, we had compatible blood types, RH factors, even some of the same allergies, that's why I know we were destined to be lovers, we were made for each other." She said, her tone the same one a bratty teenager would use talking to her dad.

"No no, definitely no, because what you're saying is you didn't inject yourself with Compound V, and you didn't have Compound V beforehand, you got powers from injecting blood from someone with Compound V, which would be insane!" You said, pacing around the tiny room as Dr. Boulet looked at you with one raised meticulously carved eyebrow.

"You okay fam? Cause I haven't seen someone that excited since I had to collect some semen samples." Tea asked, crossing her arms and legs in unison.

"No, because this is great, amazing in fact, maybe even lit! Oh my God, tell me everything about what you did. Oh my God, this means I can move forward with my idea. It's not just a me thing, I can recreate it with real science!" You cheered, Tea looking at you like you'd sprouted a second head.

"And I thought I was nutso; you need to calm down a bit before you start making me look sane." She ordered, leaning back on the cot.

Whatever you were about to fire back was cut short by the resounding noise and feeling of explosions in the hallway.

"What the helliante was that?!" Tea shouted as you dove at the door, the metal attempting to crumple around you as you forced it back into shape, having an active battle of wills wit Cindy fo a moment before she relented, allowing you to reach up and slam the slit closed on the door, blocking her vision should she try to get any closer.

"It would seem the patients are displeased with their care and are making a break for it. Not that I can really blame them, some of them got the sharp end of the shit stick!" You stated, the resounding noise of fluids painting the walls outside echoing in your ears.

"Tell me about it, that kid Sam had some serious lost marbles, finding out his parents shot him full of blue juice didn't do him any favors." Dr. Boulet said as you stared at her.

"Who?" You said, the momentary distraction rewarded as a fist broke through the door, nearly catching you with a bone-shaking cross. "Pyro didn't mention any patients named Sam, and the news about V was less than a week ago."

"Didn't realize I was locked in here with a professional yapper. Tell you what buddy, I don't feel like dying today, so you get me out of here, and I'll answer all the little questions wiggling in your brain." Dr. Tea Boulet smiled at you, a smile that split her face just slightly too much to be considered friendly as she rose from the cot, dusting herself off, calmly buttoning her white lab coat.

You swore the music that suddenly resounded wasn't in your head, and the joy that bloomed was impossible to quash down. You immediately prepared to turn and use your frankly overqualified powers to institute an escape, when the much simpler answer arrived.

You crossed the room in three steps, pressed a hand to the outer wall, which dissolved into bubbles as you held your hand out, "Let's blow this popsicle stand then!"