The Captain "clears" things up, leaving Annie and Laura to their fates

“Don’t worry girls, I’ll straighten things up.” The captain began speaking Italian. Soon after, the scowls of the authorities deepened, they launched an aggressive charade of yells and rude hand gestures at the captured duo.

“Wow, the mayor didn’t appreciate you calling his wife a sea cow. And Annie, the chief did not like how you said that it was fun seeing her trying to cover herself with just her hat between her legs. Or you telling her that she needs to shave down there.”

“But we didn’t say that!” The detectives replied in unison, Annie trying to close her legs over her hairless crotch.

“You didn’t? Oops, guess my translating skills are a bit rusty, hehe. I’ll see what I can do.” The captain signaled the two authorities to come closer, and they huddled together. Neither Annie nor Laura could understand what they were saying, but the aggressive whispers didn’t seem to bode well.

The sun was now fully up, the sky blue. The first batch of tourists was arriving at the pier, as well as some early-rising vendors. It wasn’t a big beach, so most people were drawn to the curious sight of the two naked girls tied on the main dock. Annie and Laura renewed their effort to escape, squirming in embarrassment.

The captain pulled away from the group to put a mocking hand across Laura’s shoulders. “Welp, I’ve got good news and bad news. The good news is that you are not going to jail. The bad news is that this place is quite old-fashioned, with quite the barbaric punishments.”

“What does that mean?” Laura asked, trying in vain to shift her body towards the right to avoid giving an ice-cream seller a good look at her curves.

“It means that you’ll be ridden out of town on a rail after being paraded across all the named streets.”

“W-what? Wait, that doesn’t make any sense. That’s a cowboy tradition, not an Italian one!” Annie complained, seemingly more miffed about the anachronism than her humiliating fate.

“Funny story. This town was founded by a gang of outlaws expelled from the Old West. Coincidentally, they were all ridden in a rail out the port of San Francisco and put on a boat towards Italy.”

“That makes even less sense!”

“Sure it does! Where do you think spaghetti westerns come from? Anyway, the mayor and her chief are arguing whatever they will need to feather you girls beforehand. They are discussing whatever to use honey, marmalade, glue, or just put you on the damn rail and get this over with.”

“No, it can’t be!” Annie’s toes were already curling on their own. “This is all a misunderstanding!”

Laura shivered, turning her gaze down at her rubbing feet to avoid staring at the teens leering at her shapely breasts. “Well, on the bright side, at least it will be over soon…”

“Well, not quite.” The captain continued. “You are going to stay here for at least the rest of the day. The mayor wants to give your victims the chance to come retrieve their swimsuits and look at the evil thieves that embarrassed them last week. You really shouldn’t have stolen the bikinis while the girls were relaxing on the beach, you know?”

“But we didn’t!”

“That’s not what the sign will say. It will read: Here lie the nefarious swimsuit thieves that harassed our fair town. Please mock them.”

“But you are the thief. They should put a sign next to you!”

“And who’s going to believe you, huh? In any case, I wasted enough time already. The cruise must go on. I’ll go ahead and call all the other passengers back to the ship. I’m sure they are all eager to see you on their way out.”

“Ugh.”

“And you just so you know, three more cruise ships are scheduled to dock today after we leave, so you’ll have the honor to greet a lovely parade of people arriving into town. Ba-bye!”

“W-wait, you can leave us here like this! We are stranded, completely naked and empty-handed! How are we going to get back?!” Annie protested.

“Ah, don’t be a drama queen. A couple of cute bombshells like you two? I’m sure you’ll find a hotel willing to hire a naked croupier, maid, or waitress for the novelty of it. Or, you can think of some sort of circus routine to perform for the tourists. They love that kind of stuff. Sure, it will be embarrassing, but hey, cash is cash right?”

“But everyone here thinks we are thieves. No one will give us money!”

“Sure, not here. But somewhere along the coastline, I’m sure you can find a more welcoming resort town! All it will take is a bit of walking. Think of it as a cross-country vacation! Well, got to go. Wonder what kind of swimwear Corsicans use? I’ll find out soon enough! Tootles.”

“But-ack!” Before she could keep recriminating the captain, an Italian woman waved a bikini in front of Laura and angrily pointed at her. She poked Laura’s chest and then emptied half her smoothie on her head, the other on Annie’s.

Both girls shrieked to the loud amusement of the crowd relishing the sight of their despised thieves getting their just desserts. Annie grimaced, her blush feeling hot enough to melt the ice flowing across her face.

She gave the rope one last pull, it didn’t budge. They were going to stay there for the time being… Well, at least she now had a new day to point and say, "Hey, we’ve been through worse."