The Calm Before The Storm

New Year, new possibilities...possibly? My Yeye or spiritual mother told me that January was going to be my calmest month and that I needed to stay in prayer for what was to come. My year was going to be emotional so I needed to be prayed up to process everything healthily.

I was determined to enjoy January. As kneeled in bed with my ass tooted high and my face in the sheets, Warren was behind me blowing out my back relentlessly, "Oh yes, baby, yes, fuck!" I exclaimed. Warren was something else when he fucked me from behind. His hands held onto my ass tightly. Then I felt him slow down as my ass cheeks were pulled apart so he could watch his long rod slipping and sliding in my pussy.

I was shaking like a leaf on a cold windy day. He started laughing, "Yeah, that's it, ain't no man ever made you cum like this, right?"

That was hard to answer truthfully because baaaabbyy, the way SSgt Kelly put it down when we were in New Mexico still had me weak. Nevertheless, Warren was an excellent lover.

He slapped my ass hard, "No babe, no one, just you!" My ass was stinging from the slap. I felt his weight pressing into me until my belly was on the bed. He was humming and moaning so sweetly in my ears, telling me how much he loved all of me from my hair to my smile, "It's team us forever, right babe, no matter what."

"Yes babe, team us."

I felt his cock throbbing in my center as he released. He showered kisses down my spine before pulling out.

*****

January was peaceful. Ro and I were talking and hanging out again regularly. She was even being nicer to my sister. I told her that she didn't have to feel threatened.

I wound up canceling my exam. I was too afraid that I might learn something that I didn't want to hear. I used my free time to work out, read, and pray as I was instructed.

At the end of January, Warren was out of town at a conference and Ro was on a trip as well. That last Friday of the month, I woke up feeling extremely tired. I shook it off as nothing serious. I had things to do. In addition to my regular duties, I was the group fitness monitor. I was in charge of the fitness program for our section.

I drove to the gym where we would meet for physical training. I led the warm-up and then we began to jog at a nice pace around the track. Since I was one of the fittest females in our section often outperforming some of the guys, they liked to challenge me.

Parsons trotted up to where I was leading the pace of the group, "What you got Wilson?" he asked before taking off in full stride. On a normal day, I would have smoked him easily. As my crew cheered me on, I broke into a full sprint. I knew when I felt my chest burning that something wasn't right.

Just before I caught up to him, I saw the ground getting closer. Then I saw people standing over me. I heard Parson's voice, "Oh my god, Wilson, Wilson," he said as he shook my body.

I could barely breathe. It hurt to breathe. It was crazy, I heard voices, someone called emergency and the next thing I knew, I was pulling up to a hospital.

*****

My eyes fluttered open. It felt like I had only been asleep an hour. I was in a room all alone. The nurse and doctors were wearing suits that looked more insane than our military gear for chemical attacks.

She spoke, "Jacqueline, how are you?"

"Fine." I looked around like what the entire fuck happened to me.

"You have the Corona Virus and you're in quarantine. You're one lucky lady. Your breathing improved Saturday morning and we were able to take you off the respirator."

Saturday morning, I thought, "What day is it?"

"Tuesday."

"My husband?"

"No one's allowed to come to the hospital. He did call to check your status. You should be able to leave in five more days."

Five days. Five long days. It was miserable. The waiting. Only talked to my husband by phone but I guess the best part was...I didn't die. "You're strong. You're a fighter," the nurse said, "not many people are doing well with this. It's new."

A few other people contracted in my unit. There was one person on our team that went out of the country and returned as a carrier. That person was asymptomatic. I was one of the lucky ones to get it. It was surprising that no one else close to me contracted it.

Once I was a little better, I went for my other appointment. The same doctor that I had seen about my pregnancy examined my breasts. How long has this knot been here?" she asked with concern.

"Um, well, I noticed it before Christmas I think."

She huffed, "It's the middle of February, SSgt Wilson."

"I know I just—"

She shook her head, "I have to send you for a breast ultrasound. Do you remember when you and your husband came here last year for the consult?"

"Of course."

"I asked you then how you were feeling because I noticed on one of your lab reports your white blood cell count was extremely low."

"And what does that mean?" I asked but I already felt in my gut what it was.

"SSgt Wilson, you know what, Jackie," she said as if she was removing all the formalities, "You're young and you'll get through this but it's going to be a tough fight. Are you prepared?"

I felt tears streaming down the left side of my face, I didn't know what to say.

She looked at me firmly, "The only answer I want to hear from you is 'yes.'"

"Yes."

****

After a week of waiting. I got the news. It hit me like a ton of bricks as I stood outside in the parking lot looking at the jet's taxi onto the runway. "We have to schedule you to come in for treatment options."

I didn't hear a word after that. My mind swam with all that I had been reading on the internet. My life, my hair, my breasts, and the horrible reality that a woman with a serious illness or cancer was more likely to go through separation or divorce.

Would my Warren do that? Wondered. He wouldn't. He couldn't. We had already been through so much.

I heard the oncologist's voice, "You can come in tomorrow to discuss."

"Yeah sure." The call ended. I took a deep breath. I was strong. I was a fighter. Corona didn't take me out and neither would cancer. I knew that I would have to tell my husband. My family and friends. My supervisor. I hoped it wouldn't mean the end of my military career.

I heard that some people were able to complete treatment and stay in the military. I hoped it would be my case as well. I was determined to stay optimistic.

*****

The drive home took longer. I was nervous. How could I drop another bomb in his lap and expect him to just be like okay, "team us babe?" I grunted as I pulled into the garage. I didn't see his car. I assumed he was working out or working late as he had been doing lately.

I dragged myself inside, I needed a warm bath. I also needed a drink but I decided that I wouldn't drink any **** until after I was cancer free.

As I washed my body I waited. I thought Warren would find me upstairs but as my bath water cooled down, I realized he still wasn't home.

I left the bath and got ready for bed. As I sat on the side of the bed, I checked my phone for a message. I saw a text message from him, "Issue at work, had to go check on one of my troops."

"Okay babe," I replied as I laid back. I sighed but that was the life of a supervisor. Many of our troops were like our little brothers and sisters and in some instances children. My eyes closed and I drifted off to sleep.

It was around midnight when my eyes popped open. I heard murmuring. I sat up in bed and looked around the room trying to catch my bearings before placing my feet on the floor. I walked toward the bathroom and just as I was about to touch the doorknob, I heard, "Look, I can't do this with you right now. Enough. It's over. That's what you keep saying but where's the proof?"

I opened the door and stared at him, "Who are you arguing with?"

He ended the call, "It's my troop. This fool can't get right." He stepped out of the bathroom with a towel around his waist. He walked over to the bed dropped the towel and got in.

I was still standing by the door of the bathroom trying to interpret what he said. I was not the kind of woman to be checking no guy's phone but his comment sounded like bullshit. He looked at me, "Are you coming to bed?"

My heart was pounding in my chest. My temples were throbbing. My feet felt like they were in mud as I walked over to his side of the bed and looked at him, "So, your troop?"

He sat up, "Yeah he's out there drinking and driving. I had to go pick him up."

I nodded, "Okay Warren." I reached over him, grabbed my pillow, and dragged it across his face.

"What the hell?"

"Nothing, my bad. I'm going to sleep in the other room."

"Why?" he asked as he hopped out of the bed, "wait, Jackie," he said as he reached for my arm, "you're not sleeping in another room, what's wrong?"

"Who the fuck were you talking to? And don't lie to me Warren."

He was quiet at first, "Babe," he started as if he were about to say something but then he stopped.

"What?" I insisted.

"Look, just like you asked me to trust you with the other thing. I need you to trust me too."

I smirked, "I didn't fuck anyone that's why I asked you to trust me but for some reason, I'm just getting a different vibe from you. Like your energy lately has been real—"

"Oh Lord, here we go again with that shit—"

"It's not shit, It's facts. You've been acting fucking weird. Like when I was in the hospital...calling first thing in the morning and not calling again until really late at night. And suddenly needing to work late all the fucking time."

"It's all in your head because you're talking to some witch doctor or whatever—"

"She's not a witch doctor. She's s spiritual advisor."

"Spend more time in church and you wouldn't have these weird thoughts in your head. I'm going to bed. If you've convinced yourself that I did something...then ain't nothing I can do to change your mind...isn't that what you told me?"

It was quiet for a moment. I wanted to punch his face. Yet, I screamed. I wailed. I was trembling. He stared at me with confusion. Tears rolled down my face as I leaned against the wall. "Jackie, Jackie, what's wrong? I'm sorry please stop, don't cry."

"No, get away from me. Just fucking go do whatever you want. I can get through this by myself."

"Get through what?"

"None of your business. Fuck you," I said as I left him standing in the room. I went to the guest bedroom and locked the door. I called my sister. She was able to calm me down. But even after that, I couldn't sleep.

My heart hurt. All I did was toss and turn until it was time for me to get up. I left the guest bedroom and went to our bedroom. It was quiet. I went to the closet and got dressed in civilian clothes. He looked at me strangely, "Why aren't you wearing your uniform? Where are you going?"

I didn't respond. He walked in front of me before I could get to the bathroom, "Hey, hey, I asked you a question."

"I'm going to the doctor this morning."

"You alright?"

I chuckled, "Yeah, just peachy," I replied as I stepped around him and went to the bathroom. He watched as I brushed my teeth. Then I pulled my hair into a high bun.

Just as I was about to leave the bathroom, he stepped into my path, "Babe, are you sure you're okay?"

I nodded, "I'm good."

He swallowed and placed his hands on my hips, "I just have this feeling that something is not right."

I nodded, "You know what it's called when you can sense something is off or weird about a person?" he didn't respond so I did, "it's called energy, vibes, or an inkling. And you've been off." I left him standing at the door and went to my appointment.