The Book of The Spirit

The grass felt like home. It was soft as kitten fur, and green as emeralds. Water flowed sweetly in a nearby river, and the wind was soft and loving. There was no sky, only light. Though it did no sting or glare, it simply revealed.

Skylar felt no pain, and in this painless state she resolved to rest and perish.

Then she heard the sound of children laughing.

It drew nearer and nearer until the sounds became voices. “Wake up Skylar we want to play with you.”

Skylar shook her head, and kept her face buried in the grass. “Stay away, you’re in danger when you’re around me. Bad people are after me.”

“Silly! There is no danger here.”

“No bad people either.”

“Just the ever dusk of Winterspringsummerfall.”

That convinced her to sit up. She was greeted by a small army of smiling children, all dressed in white. White shirts, dresses, shorts, overalls, kimonos, and to a number, dirty grass stained sneakers.

Mesmerized she looked about the world and saw everything was soft and colorful almost water colored. There were no inbetween points, there were just beautiful scenes that faded to white.

“Come on Skylar.” One child grabbed her hand, her own torn up and dirty hand felt disgusting compared to the soft clean touch of the child. “Let us play in our innocence forevermore!”

Skylar sniffled. “Okay.”

“Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!” The children threw up a great cheer. The scrambled and tagged Skylar and ran about the hills of this place, and great joy and love filled her completely. Skylar gave chase, she ran and tagged, and let herself be wrestled to the ground by packs of the little things. She laughed, and cried and hugged the stuffed animals they offered to her as succor. She thought that everything she had ever wanted was surrounding her, and it was welcoming her. This joy was for her.

And she knew she couldn’t have it. This was the same trick she pulled on Eve. Skylar felt it now in all her monstrous cruelty. “Prove to your master you’re loyal to only him. Betray mankind. What a lie. Skylar made her do it because it was cruel, simple as that.

“I don’t be long here.” Skylar thankfully took another kitty from a girl who offered it. She was surrounded by half the ark at this point.

“All belong here, Skylar.” Said a child.

“Pain does not exist here Skylar. If you hurt it is because you bring it with you. Let it go, and let’s play!”

“I can’t.” Skylar smelled the kitty in her hands and missed the scent of her own stuffy. “I’ll hurt you kids, I’m sick. I’m just… pink painted over evil.”

“No evil here.”

“No sickness either.”

“That means you can play with us!”

Skylar sniffled some more. “Is this heaven?”

At this point Skylar became aware of an entity. Or at least it allowed her to become aware of it.

“You have no soul Skylar, you may not enter the gates of Heaven.”

Skylar nodded her understing as she looked around for the voice. Its physical appearance was not forthcoming but she could sense something immense just ahead of her. “Then this… is a set for a season set in Heaven.”

“On sight filming proved to be a problem.”

“So you’re… an NPC of God.”

“I am who you say I am.”

“Why have I never heard of this season?”

“It was a failure, it never got off the ground.”

Skylar was quiet for a moment. She pet the soft kitten and tried to think. “Who are the children?”

The Entity spoke. “These are human souls.” A chill washed over Skylar as she looked at the beaming kids. “They are what the producers leave behind when they make a host.”

Chills intensified.

“They… leave behind a soul? What? Why? that doesn’t make sense. Why would they make a soul and not include it, why throw it away?”

“They don’t make it, Skylar. They rip it out of the humans they turn into hosts. They toss them into the void like trash, but the soul’s purity is drawn to this location now. I care for them, and the Producers don’t bother us, if they know we exist at all.”

Skylar’s mind was struggling to listen, and fracture at the same time. “What are you saying… that I used to be human?”

“Yes, the Producers take people like you from their world. People with powers similar to their own. They wipe your memories, take out your soul, and leave you as little more than a consciousness they can pour into one of their handsome dolls.”

Skylar’s fingers were digging into the stuffy. “Their world… what? Like… you’re saying they’re human aren’t you? They’re not gods?”

“They’re humans. Powerful humans, but no different and no more powerful than you were. You and the other hosts.”

“Wow.” Skylar threw up her hands. “Literally everything I ever knew was a lie. What the hell?” She gasped and covered her mouth. “Sorry for my language.”

“You’ve been going through a lot.”

“I’ll say.” She slumped and shook her head. It was all so much, too much. This is what the players felt like. Thrown into a world they didn’t understand, transformed until they couldn’t recognize themselves.

It was hot, but definitely evil.

There was nothing real for her to grab onto. Nothing to hold, or judge from her past experiences. It was all fake. She could not look to her world for truth, nor could she look within. “I had my powers, when I was human?”

“You did. In your world reality manipulation is not all that uncommon.”

“Why? Why lie to us? If it’s not uncommon… I don’t understand. Why did they change us? Why lie? Why are they pretending to be these gods if they’re just… people?”

“Power of course.”

Skylar understood. That was the truth of the powerful. They hide behind desks, and companies. Work in impressive buildings built and designed by others, wear stunning uniforms, and all to hide what they really are. Pathetic little men.

Of course they were. She understood what the studio was. A prison. That’s why hosts lived and died there. That’s why they never saw the producers. So they could build myths among themselves. These tricks they played, not remembering faces, or being unable to read names was all stuff Skylar could do, why had she let herself be impressed by parlor tricks? The only real trick they needed was to control the hosts’ power, and that’s why they remade them. It was all so obvious and terrible.

“Is my soul here?”

The children parted, and made room for a single brunette child to make her way forward. She was a beautiful thing.

Skylar gasped at the sight of her. “Jamie?” She asked nearly in tears.

The girl just giggled and tilted her head.

“She’s beautiful.” Skylar got to her knees. She held out her hand as if luring a kitten in with treats. “Please… I wouldn’t want anything to do with me, but I’m so sick of being this thing. I want to be a human. I want to be whole. I want to play with all your friends, without being scared I’ll hurt them.” She gulped, terrified of her own trembling hand.

The little soul, who only knew good, gigled and nodded yes. She took Skylar’s hand. No fear, or hate, or disgust.

The host felt home in that girl’s hand, and knew at once that if they were one she’d be human again. She’d be complete. She would be what she always had longed for.

And it didn’t work. Though both parties were willing they didn’t bond.

“Karen.” Skylar said sadly. Her other half, of course. Who pours water into only half a cup? Skylar supposed it depended on which half, but that wasn’t the point.

“When we heal others we heal ourselves. Karen and all your victims must be made whole, or this hole in your heart shall not fill.”

That conclusion had been inevitable. She’d been hoping for oblivion, only because she knew making up for all her evil was impossible. Still, to hear someone say it outloud made it all the more daunting.“You’re right. I need to help the mortals. I see now the damage I did to them… but Karen? She’s worse than me, she’s trying to destroy me!”

“We don’t get to choose who needs our help.”

“But I didn’t hurt her. I loved her, and loved her, and it wasn’t enough. Why do I need to help her?”

“It’s not fair, not even a little, but you need Karen to become whole.”

Skylar looked to the little girl. “What do you think? Karen’s an even bigger mess than me.”

The soul considered this, and of course she smiled. “More friends is always nice!”

Skylar returned the smile and hoped it was half as radiant. “I was afraid you’d say that.” She got to her feet and put her hands on her hips. She had an impossible mission, no powers, and no plan. “I don’t suppose you can send me back to Colorado with a saint can you?”

The Entity laughed, always a good feeling when you can get God to do that. “I’m afraid I don’t have any. But if you die trying to save the humans, you can be my first.”

Skylar gawked. “Gallows humor from God, what a day.” Skylar looked down at her soul. “What do you think, is this guy a crack up?”

The soul giggled. “Yeah! He’s funny!” The other souls laughed and squealed in agreement.

Skylar took their word for it and tried to give the Entity a grateful smile. “Thank you for bringing me here… and for telling me the truth. I feel like it’s shaken me apart, but… it’s better to not live in a lie.”

“Use your second chance well, do something good with all those intentions.”

“I will… can I bring everyone here when I save them?”

“No, this is still within the reach of the producers. You must return them to reality.”

Uh oh. “But without my powers… the only way to do that is by completing the game.” She shivered. “And even then… I’ll be trapped.”

“If you save everyone… you’ll be returned to your true life.”

Tingles…

Skylar dared to feel hope, but it was a hard fought battle. She was not sure she’d ever experienced that emotion before. Excitement, anticipation, lust… but not hope. “You’re sure? How do you know?”

She could sense the entity smiling, beaming. It was a sightless expression that put to bed all her worries and anxieties. All this fake god had for assurances was, “it’s what I would do!”

And she believed him completely.