The Angst of Loss

In many ways it was the most brutal choice. Some would call it the Goldilocks path -- not too close, not too far, but the orbit now with Amanda was brutal. You sat beside her, across the table from Kendi, laughing at his jokes, sometimes real, sometimes pretending.

But the icy knife was that this was a busy restaurant where you all used to go to school. And dining outside, under the swaying palm fronds and with the cooling sea breeze flowing through Amanda's blonde locks, it felt like everyone recognized Kendi and Amanda, barely looking at you and certainly not recognizing you. And because that anonymity worked against you this day, you had to sit there, grinning like an idiot as so many old friends approached them, praising their union. It was a painful, heady reminder that he was the better man.