...Teysa dreams.

Teysa folded herself up into the silken hammock. Since her transformation, she found that she could get by with only a scant few hours of sleep a night, but her brain hadn't adjusted yet; if she stayed up too late, she still felt a terrible weight tugging at her eyelids. Besides, sitting and watching Aliara sleep felt... creepy. Predatory. She was resolved to do things the human way whenever possible. That meant sleep.

Fortunately, her hammock was large and springy enough to accommodate her. Laying on her side, staring at the dozing half-elf, she almost felt normal. She could almost ignore the pendulous weight of her abdomen and the tightness of her curled-up legs.

Almost.

Tonight, sleep took a long time to come. She lay awake listening to Aliara's soft snores and stared at the far wall. She'd have to talk to the other ascended driders... tomorrow. What would she say to them? What would they say to her? She wondered why she hadn't thought of the idea of speaking to them herself, and unfortunately, the answer was crystal clear.

She was scared of what they might tell her.

Not that the adjustment period would be hard. She knew that. She was living it. It was hard, every day, every time she saw her face in a polished silver mirror or the reflective surface of a pool. It was hard when she accidentally looked at herself, at the polished, chitinous growth that clung to her like a limpet. It was hard when Aliara gasped or flinched away when Teysa got too close. All that was hard. What scared her was the possibility that they would tell her it was easy.

There were positives to her new form. Whenever she found herself listening carefully to conversations three caves away, or racing through the tunnels at racehorse speeds, she had to push down a little thrill that bubbled in her chest. She felt stronger than she had been before, faster, more capable. Those feelings were alluring. They whispered to her. What do you miss about being small and pink, anyways? Do you miss the weakness? Having to sleep eight hours a night? The fatigue, the clumsiness of four stubby limbs? That body let you down. You're better off without it.

She couldn't tell Aliara any of this. The half-elf wouldn't understand. She still clung to the idea that this was temporary, a disease like Redpox that could be cured with the proper incantation. Teysa had thought so at first, but that hope was ebbing. The spider-body wasn't a graft, it wasn't a tumor or growth. She was the spider, and the spider was her. Perhaps these selfish whispers were just her mind's way of dealing with the trauma and loss, but she had to deal with the bare facts of her new life. Her grief had faded-- not vanished, no, but retreated to a dull lump in the pit of her stomach. The wound in her soul had scabbed over.

That was what she was afraid of. How much of this was the natural healing effects of time and how much was her new body enforcing its will over her mind? Was this how all new driders started out? Was she becoming duller, more docile, just another link in the chain that made up the warren? She didn't know, but the thought terrified her. She had to hang on to her old self. She had to.

My name is Teysa. I am a paladin. I fight for justice, for the weak and defenseless, and for the light of the sun. I was born on a farm in Ellswood Province, I trained at the Abbey of St. Petronia, and I now live with my beloved Aliara.

My name is Teysa...

She did not know how long she lay there repeating her mantra, but she gradually became aware of a cold blue glow creeping over the room. The phosphorescent fungus that lit the cave had dimmed itself as it always did (its brightness came and went over the course of the day, and careful tending of the patches could create a sort of day/night cycle). This new glow was metallic, icy, like light filtered through a glacier. It put a hard edge on the stalagmites and gave a glassy sheen to the pool in the corner.

"H-hello?" Teysa sat up and looked around. Aliara was snoring in the hollow of the hammock. As Teysa withdrew her arms the half-elf grunted and twisted but did not wake.

"Teysa." The voice echoed off the walls. It was as cold as the light, aristocratic; the voice of a matriarch who only spoke to issue commands. Something about it was dreadfully familiar, but in her groggy state Teysa couldn't place it.

"Teysa," the woman repeated, and as the echoes died away she stepped into view.

She looked like a drow, but massive, far larger than any drow Teysa had ever seen. She had to stoop to enter the cave. Her head brushed against the ceiling. Even upright, Teysa would have had to look up to meet her gaze. The woman wore a long gown of black silk with a spiderweb pattern picked out in silver thread. It billowed around her as though in a breeze, though Teysa could feel no wind. Her fingers were long and slim, decorated with silver rings set with precious stones: diamonds, rubies, sapphires. Her long white hair had been piled up on her head in a spiraling braid, and on top of it she wore a silver tiara. Her face reminded Teysa of nothing so much as the Matron. It was beautiful but chilly, the beauty of a statue or portrait, stiff and unchanging.

What froze Teysa's heart in her chest, though, were the woman's eyes. They lacked iris or pupil, but unlike the glossy black eyes of the driders, these were shining, iridescent gold. The light pouring off them filled the chamber with a warm glow.

"Mother Below," Teysa breathed, and knelt.

Lolth laughed and waved a hand for Teysa to rise. The sound of her laughter quickened Teysa's heart. It was a sound of pure joy and contentment, a mother's comfort at seeing her wayward child returning home.

"Teysa," she said. "It is good to see you again. Stand, My champion. Do not think I have forgotten the great service you performed for Me."

Something about that struck Teysa as off, but she could not think of what it could be. Her mind was dazzled by the Goddess's sheer presence. Power sleeted from Her in invisible lines, buffeting Teysa like hurricane winds.

"Please, Mother," she managed. "I don't..."

Lolth clasped her hands and the terrible **** slackened off. The blue light filling the room dulled slightly, and Teysa found she could stand.

"What... why have you come to me, Mother?"

"Do I need a reason?" Lolth smiled. "You are recovering well from your ascension. Your new form pleases Me. You are My most faithful servant, and it is right that you should be rewarded."

"Rewarded?" Teysa was lost. "Mother, please. This shape-- can you restore me the way I was? Before?"

"Before?" Lolth's golden eyes flashed red for a moment, and Teysa shrunk back in terror. "Before, you were weak. Before you were ****. I reshaped you to better serve Me, champion. I gifted you the power and splendor you require to survive My domain."

There it was. "S-serve you?" Teysa quavered. Defying the Goddess to her face took all of her courage, but she **** herself to press on. "Great Mother, I... I don't understand. I serve Agamor. I am sworn to Him and His light, now and forever."

Lolth staggered back as though Teysa had struck her. Her eyes narrowed and the light pouring out of them grew bloodshot. It throbbed angrily like a diseased heart.

"You defy Me? You reject Me? After all I did for you? After I blessed you with this holy form? Ungrateful child! I should have let you perish!"

Teysa flinched away from the Goddess's wrath. Part of her mind was screaming in terror, begging her to fall on her knees and ask forgiveness. But another part, a calm and rational part, spoke up before she could.

She did this to you. She knew what she was doing. She could have simply raised you, like Aliara, but she twisted you into this monstrosity, and now she demands your service. Lolth's gifts are poisoned. She is the Spider, and you stumbled into her web without even realizing it.

Teysa gritted her teeth. Looking up into Lolth's blazing eyes was the hardest thing she had ever done. Little by little, she **** herself to meet the burning gaze, and what she saw there shocked her.

She was right. She had learned the truth. What's more, Lolth knew that Teysa knew. The Goddess was angry, but she was also scared, and deep down, she was ashamed.

"You... you tricked me," Teysa said quietly. "You said you were saving my life, but you only wanted my service. You did this to me."