Text Audrey and see if she wants to eat together

You decide that even though your sister is being weird about you all of a sudden, that does not mean that you have to eat lunch alone. You open up your messages with Aubrey.

AUDREY: Yeah me too

AUDREY: You also go to Poly State?

YOU: Yep, I’m a junior

YOU: Hey do you want to get something to eat around campus?

YOU: I’m free right now

AUDREY: Sure

AUDREY: Where were you thinking?

YOU: Canteen?

AUDREY: You got swipes on your card?

YOU: Yeah

AUDREY: I’ll be there in five

You walk the rest of the way to the canteen and about ten minutes later, Audrey walks up. She looks quite different now that she’s out of her kinda frumpy waitress outfit, she looks younger and also much more athletic. Her top is a tight fitting sports top and her yoga pants hug her shapely hips.

“Hey,” she says.

“Hey,” you say back.

“So, how were your classes?” You ask as you open the door and follow her into the canteen.

“They were good, you gonna pay for me or should I pay for myself?” She asks, point blank.

“Uh, I can pay for you.” You say, swiping your card twice at the desk at the entrance.

“Awesome.” She says. You and Audrey find a table, set down your bags and go get yourselves plates of food. You meet back at the table and start to dig in.

“So does your girlfriend know we’re talking?” She asks, taking a bite. “I understand if you’d rather keep it hush hush but I’d rather be honest, you know?”

“My girlfriend?” You reply, recoiling from the question.

“I mean, you were eating with that girl yesterday.” She states.

“Ah,” you chuckle, “that was my sister.”

“Those aren’t mutually exclusive, answer the question.” Audrey says, sporting a big grin.

“No, she is not my girlfriend.” You sigh, shaking your head.

“And you don’t have any other girlfriends?” She asks.

“We’ll say that that’s a complicated answer and move on.” You say and then take a bite.

“Then you won’t mind if I ask you something?” She asks.

“Sure, shoot.” You state.

“So how big are you?” Audrey asks.

“How big am I?” You repeat.

“I mean,” Audrey takes another bite of food, “how big’s your dick.”

“Oh,” you say, rather surprised. You see a guy’s head whip around from another table to look at Audrey. “I don’t really know.”

“You don't―" Audrey starts, looking suspiciously at you, "have you never measured yourself?”

“Well I have in the past, but it’s gotten bigger since.” You say.

“Oh?” Audrey says, her thick eyebrows climbing her forehead in amusement. “Like a lot?” You pucker your lips and think, it’s definitely bigger thanks to Vernius, but honestly maybe only by an inch at most.

“No, just a little bit longer and a bit thicker.” You say, shrugging your shoulders.

“Ok, you’ve piqued my interest. How big are we talking about here? You got to give me measurements.” Scoffs Audrey, leaning in.

“Like this big I would guess.” You say, holding up your hands with your approximate dick length the distance between them. You swear you see a girl at another table drop her jaw and stare. Audrey seems unmoved.

“Ok, that I can work with.” She says. “You free tonight?”

“Like?” You ask, blinking.

“Like so I can bring out a measuring tape and we can find out together how big is big for you of course⸮” She smiles. “Because I’ve met a lot of guy,” she takes another bite of food and swallows, “who talk the talk but cannot walk the walk.”

“Really?” You ask.

“Someday” she begins, “I hope somebody will write a book about why dudes feel compelled to lie about their height and their dick size for no good reason, because it beats the hell out of me.”

“Huh.” You comment.

“Like if I had a dime for every guy I matched with online who swore that they're six foot and packing nine inches, only to get them home and discover the next morning that they're more like 5’9” and sporting four on a warm day, I think I’d have just about a dollar. It really makes you wonder what sort of funhouse rulers that some guys are working with.”

“So you’re a size queen?” You ask. Audrey rolls her eyes.

“It isn’t about the size to be honest, it's the being lied to that I can't stand.” She says, pointing her fork accusingly at you. “Plus you seem like you’ve been around the block enough times to have heard that it isn’t about what you’ve got, it’s about how you use it.”

“Fair.” You add.

“That being said,” she says sporting a mischievous grin, “I’m not going to pretend that being well hung isn’t big bonus points in my book. Plus you never answered my question.”

“I’m not free tonight. I have work and then I’m supposed to hang out with my sister later.” You sigh.

“So she is your girlfriend.” Audrey chuckles.

“Different sister.” You groan.

“Sure.” She laughs and goes back to eating.

“So tell me something about yourself.” You say after swallowing your food, just about finished with your own meal.

“Like what?” Audrey replies.

“What’s your major?” You ask.

“Kinesiology.” She says. “I want to be a sports medicine physician.”

“Cool. Does that mean you’re going to medical school after your bachelors?” You ask, taking a bite of food.

“Yeah,” she sighs, “and then a two year residence after that. What about you?”

“Anthropology.” You say. “In particular archaeological anthropology.”

“So Indiana Jones stuff?” Audrey asks, a glint of excitement in her eye.

“Eh,” you say, “that’s a really romanticized version but sure we can go with that.”

“Cool.” Audrey says. “Then I’m gonna assume this job of yours includes punching Nazis in the face and you cannot tell me differently.” You roll your eyes.

“It’s nowhere near that exciting." You reply flatly. "I work in the library basement on the school’s archives.”

“The library has a basement?” Audrey asks, surprised.

“Yep,” you state, “it’s spooky and also filled with rats and asbestos.”

“And Nazis” Audrey interjects.

“I don’t recommend going down there unless you absolutely must.” You finish.

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” She says. “So when are you free to hang out this week if not tonight?” You chew your mouth for a moment and think, think to Alice and what exactly you are to each other now.

“Can I get back to you once I know what my Nazi punching schedule looks like?” You say, smiling.

“Oh sure,” Audrey nods, “I’m free basically any evening. Just shoot me a text and we’ll make it work.” She winks.

“Cool, sounds good.” You say and pick up your empty tray and walk it to the dishes drop off with Audrey. You both walk to the doors of the canteen.

“Bye John.” Audrey says, waving you off.

“See you soon.” You reply and you go your separate ways.