Terms and Conditions

Every pair of eyes fixed on me while the spiderlings went perfectly still, sensing the shift in the air. Even the clicking of tiny legs had stopped.

I cleared my throat. “Eliette.”

Her warm eyes turned to meet mine. “Yes, darling?”

“Could you give us a moment?” I gestured toward the others. “We need some privacy.”

Eliette’s violet-tinged gaze swept over the party’s faces—Shadowheart’s narrowed suspicion, Lae’zel’s teeth visibly grinding, Karlach’s uncomfortable shifting. Her full lips curved into an understanding smile.

“But of course. You have come a long way. You must be tired.” She gestured gracefully toward an archway draped in fresh silk. “There’s a chamber just through there. Quite cozy. My children will show you.”

A dozen spiderlings immediately scattered toward the indicated passage in a chaotic, skittering wave, legs clicking in every direction at once. Eliette’s voice drifted after them, warm and indulgent, like a permissive parent sending children off to play.

“Be good hosts, darlings. Our guests require accommodations.”

She turned back to me with genuine warmth. “Rest well. I’ll be here when you’re ready to continue our conversation.”

The walk was short. It felt longer. Four pairs of eyes bored into my back the entire way, silent and unblinking. We followed the chittering escort into a circular chamber carved from natural stone. A cold fire pit sat in the center, surrounded by flat stones that would serve as seating. The spiderlings deposited the loot in a neat pile and scattered. The door swung shut behind them.

Shadowheart and Lae’zel both turned toward me with identical expressions of disdain. They positioned themselves between me and the exit without discussion, shoulders set like soldiers taking a stand.

Shadowheart’s voice came out low and dangerous. “You just turned that monstrous spider into a fawning wife. What is going on?”

From my left, Karlach began moving, easing closer with careful steps, until she came to a stop beside Shadowheart. She looked at me, almost apologetically.

“Hey,” she said. “I want to know as well.”

Kagha, who had been watching this migration with care, quietly crossed over to join them. Her hand trailed discretely down my arm as she passed. She squared her shoulders and folded her arms.

“We want answers!” Her emerald eyes were wide with performed shock.

Shadowheart turned to look at her. A long, flat look. Then back to me.

“Who are you really?”

“A warlock. You know this.”

“To whom?”

“Do we really have t—”

“TO WHOM?!” Lae’zel’s voice cracked like a whip.

I wasn’t getting out of this one.

“To Graz’zt..”

“No way!” Karlach’s engine gave a violent thump.

Lae’zel blinked. “What is a Graz’zt?”

Shadowheart had gone very still. When she spoke, it was slowly, like she was lifting each word and checking under it before setting it down. “A demon prince. Lord of pleasure, indulgence, and every excess that Shar finds… wasteful. Manipulation, decadence, desire. Those are his specialities.”

Lae’zel’s expression hardened. “So a fiend of deception. Fitting.”

Kagha gasped. “I’m shocked!” The words rang hollow as stage dialogue.

“Yup,” I said. “Now you know.”

Karlach shook her head slowly. “I’ve heard about him before. In the Hells. Fought against some of his soldiers once. Nasty fuckers, literally.” She squinted. “Mizora used to go on about him constantly. ‘I bedded a demon prince,’ like it was some grand achievement she’d earned. As if he even remembered her name afterward.” She gave a short, disgusted sound. “…that ignorant slut.”

Shadowheart’s voice stayed sharp. “These changes,” she said. “To Kagha. To the spider back there. To—” She paused. “To us. Is that your patron’s magic?”

“Yes. That is his influence.” I begrudgingly admitted.

Lae’zel studied me with new intensity. “What are your plans for us?” She stepped forward. “Are we to become broodmothers, birthing thousands into the dark?”

“No,” I said. “Gods, no. Not at all.”

For a split second Kagha’s expression turned somber.

Lae’zel’s eyes narrowed. “Then explain this.” She gestured back toward the other room. “Why squander such a gift on a spider? Had you chosen me, our young would be in rows. Ordered. A generation of warriors. Her young are scattered. In disarray. Crawling aimlessly. Desperate for a leader to impose structure.” She took a breath through her nose. “Pathetic.”

Nobody acknowledged this.

“So what are you doing to us then,” Shadowheart said, “if not that?”

“Well it's hard to say really, his influence runs through my magic—whether I want it to or not. It's not that I get to decide what happens, it basically amplifies what is already there.”

Shadowheart folded her arms. “And you thought keeping that to yourself was the better choice?”

"If I had told you that in the beginning you'd never allowed the rituals. You probably wouldn't have stayed either.”

Shadowheart’s eyes narrowed “True. I wouldn't have.” She searched my eyes as the pieces clicked into place. “Then what happened to the Grove. That was Graz’zt’s work as well, wasn’t it?”

“Yes. Mostly. Ethel also did some fuckery too. It’s complicated.”

“Everything’s complicated with you,” Shadowheart added.

I couldn’t deny that.

“Look,” I said, “he chose me. I didn’t get a say. And honestly—I never expected it to turn out anything like this.” I let the honesty bleed into my words.

Cautious silence followed as the girls searched my face for truth.

Karlach was the first to break. “Yeah,” she sighed. “I know how that goes.” She looked at the dead firepit. “Fooled into a contract. Forced to serve. No say in any of it.” She looked back at me. “So what does he actually want from you? What’s his goal?”

“His goal? Just more of what I’ve been doing, I guess. He wants me to grow stronger and lean into his magic more—the more pleasure I bring into the world, the more power I get in return.” My gaze drifted to my hands, then to her “And then of course there are other bonuses..”

Karlach's eyes went wide with recognition. “Oh hells—that's what the fire resistance was about, isn't it. You got that from me.” The grin that followed was all teeth. “Gosh, that was the best day.”

“Yes. Exactly. Each time it's something different.”

Lae’zel tilted her head, curious. “Truly? You grow stronger from toying with our flesh?”

“Yeah.” I nodded. “Which is exactly why I can’t let any of you turn into mindflayers. All this work—every change, every boon—would be wasted.” I looked directly at her. “I can’t let that happen.”

[Lae'zel: Approval +1]

She regarded me for a long moment before giving a small nod. “Your logic is… perverse. Yet it does makes sense.”

I nodded back before turning to Shadowheart. “So there you have it. I’m a warlock for the Prince of Pleasure, and I grow stronger the more we...bond”

She rubbed her palm, staring at it in thought. “I still don’t understand why Shar would want this…” She turned, looking me straight in the eyes. “Look, I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t trust you. And it’s not that I really mind—” She gestured at her transformed figure. “It’s just...you could have shared this earlier,” her eyes flickered away “..at least with me.”

Before I could answer, Lae’zel straightened to her full height. “Your actions speak true even when your words do not. Even with this body, I am still alive. I am still lethal. If your patron wants you to grow stronger, then he and I share the same goal. I will follow you, demon lackey.”

Kagha joined my side, squeezing my arm with devoted pressure. “I don’t care who you serve. Or where we go. You saved me in the Grove, and you opened my eyes to a world I had been blind to.” Her smile turned radiant “I will forever be at your side.”

Karlach raised an eyebro, her grin widening. “No complaints on these—” She pushed her enhanced breasts together with shameless pride. “—and any enemy of Zariel is good enough for me. I’m in. But please, please, please only use your gift of lying on others, yeah?”

My shoulders relaxed as the tension finally started to settle.

“So,” I said carefully, “we’re good?”

“We’re good.”

“Terms accepted.”

“Hells yeah.”

“Always and forever.”