Tensions and Questions

The room was beautiful, silks and tapestries hanging from the wall in a flutter of soft colors, but neither woman was taking in the beauty of the silks. Nor did they pay attention to the sunlight shining in from the garden terrace, or the colorful chiaroscuro it painted on the wall though the silks, the folds creating dark shadows which drifted lazily across the silken pastel colors.

The scents lovely, too, a gentle breeze wafting in the distant smell of flowers and fresh water, of leaves in spring and just a hint of earth, but the women paid it no attention.

And despite the distant babble of a slow-moving brook, which mingled with the leaves in the garden rustling in the breeze, the two women focused only on the deafening silence between them.

It was unbearable.

They had barely spent five minutes together in the room, and already the tension was thick, a cloying, ever-present awareness of the other woman. Both of them wanted to be the bigger person, to reach out to the other woman, or even just say something, anything, to break that silence, a silence so thick it drowned out everything. But whatever they wanted, neither of them were well equipped for the situation.

Eventually, after several excruciating minutes of organising the drawers on either side of the bed, Joanna broke the silence.

“Why did you do it?”

“What?” her startled roommate replied. “Do what? If you think i’m the one who broke up with The-”

“No no, not that,” replied Joanna, waving her off. “I mean, during the transformations. You signalled ‘don’t stop’ when he was about to veto your transformation. Why?”

Nina raised an eyebrow at that.

“Isn’t it obvious? I thought you’d understand. I’m a massive masochist. Why wouldn’t I ask for more pain and punishment? It’s what I’m into.” She gave Joanna a brief, appraising look, focusing on the leather collar around the other woman’s neck. “What we’re both into, I'm pretty sure.”

Joanna seemed to consider this for a moment, nodding.

“Sure, I can appreciate that. I understand the temptation, of giving someone power to hurt you, to put you in place with just a word” Joanna seemed to shudder at the thought, then pulled herself together, blushing slightly. “But even in my horniest fantasies, I wouldn’t give that power to everyone. Not to my boss and teacher and any man catcalling me and all my friends if we get in a fight.”

“Oh? And maybe I’m not you. I’m sure your ‘Master’” - Joanna noticed the way she said the word, with less sarcasm and scorn than she might have intended - “has told you that I’m too kinky even for him.”

“He hasn’t, actually. He’s too much of a gentleman” - Nina scoffed - “to talk much about his exes. But during your little introduction you mentioned you work at a bank. You have a life outside of your kinks, just like I do. I doubt you’d go through the trouble of university and getting a difficult internship just to toss it all away at the drop of a hat. And besides, even if you wanted words to hurt, you could just ask Master. We both know he’s done it before.”

At this, Nina’s eyes went wide. “What?” she asked, her voice full of indignation, bubbling up into scorn and rage as she spoke. “I thought you said he’d been a gentleman? or has he been blabbing my secrets to every fuckin-”

“No no, not like that!” Joanna replied, panic creeping into her voice, her right hand finding the ring of her collar and fiddling with it. “He hasn’t said anything!”

“What? Then how are you so sure?” replied Nina, incredulous.

It took Joanna a moment to collect herself before she answered, deep breaths slowing her down.

“Every time I’ve asked Master for a new kind of trigger or a new kind of play he hasn’t explored before, he always takes a day or two to do some research and make a plan for it. When I asked him to give me a spanking trigger for an evening, he checked in, made sure I was really sure, and then started the induction twenty minutes later. It wasn’t new to him. In fact, he did it faster and more confidently than a lot of other triggers. It’s not a great mystery where he could have gotten that experience.”

Nina nodded, slowly, giving Joanna another look. Some part of her had thought of her as less kinky, less masochist, than herself, categorised her as someone who might like pink fluffy handcuffs and an occasional spanking. Maybe she had been a little too quick in that assessment.

“Fair enough. Still, your precious boyfriend hates me. He’d never give me another trigger like that. And why would I want his help?.”

Joanna rolled her eyes. “You trusted him to know what you wanted, and he closed ranks with you. He was going to use his only veto to save you from the voters, and picked up on a signal you haven’t given him for a year. If he thought it was the better alternative, of course he’d give you another trigger. You could’ve had what you wanted from him, all the things you like from your transformation, without the fear of every catcall turning into ****.”

“So what’s your point, Jo?” Nina replied, intrigued and annoyed in equal measure.

“Don’t call me that,” she replied sharply. “That’s for select friends only. As for my point, well.. You didn’t give him the go-ahead because you’re some super-masochist glutton for pain. If you really really wanted, you could have gotten that from him.” There was a hint of bitterness in her voice, but just a hint. “I don’t like the thought of it, but it’s true. So why?”

Nina gave Joanna a thoughtful look, and fell silent for a little while. The sound of the brook and the gentle rustle of the leaves filled the room while she thought, and finally, with a sigh, she answered.

“The other girl - Chloe?” - Joanna nodded - “Had a worse transformation looming. You’re right, my transformation is harsh, but I’ve had pain triggers before. I can handle the occasional sting when people call me a bitch. And in the right circumstances, there might be some positives to it.”

Nina took a deep breath and continued.

“You heard her. She was practically begging Theo for the veto if she got the wrong transformation. I can handle a few extra slaps better than she could handle that praise kink transformation. I wanted to make sure he could help her if she really needed it.”

Joanna looked at her, and Nina could not figure out the look. Critical? Sceptical? or maybe just… thoughtful?

“Really? You just wanted to help Chloe?”

Nina shrugged, but there was a look in her eyes that Joanna couldn’t place. Frustration? Pain? Anger?

“Believe it or not, just because I’m Theo’s ex doesn’t make me some sort of terrible monster. There was another woman, - a teenager, by the looks of it - in need. Of course I tried to help her. Or at least give Theo the chance to.”

Joanna nodded.

“But why not just tell Master?”

“I wouldn’t want Chloe to feel guilty. I don’t know her, so you tell me - How would she feel if I had asked Theo to prioritise her? If she had gotten saved at my expense?”

“Ah,” Joanna replied. There wasn’t much more to say. Nina’s reasoning made sense, but she suspected there was more to it than that.

“Thank you, then. Chloe’s a friend of mine. It means a lot that you tried to help her.”

“I…” Nina started, a little unsure of how to reply. “You’re welcome?”

Joanna shrugged. “Think nothing of it. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I think I'll try to find out where my Master is.”