Tension (Jake PoV)

The doorbell ringing was unexpected. Finding a disheveled Alexis was even more unexpected—and concerning. I hadn’t seen her in this state in some time. Her red hair was a mess, clumped against her face with a twisted nest of loose strands tied together atop her head. Her cheeks were rosy and there were bags under her eyes. The t-shirt was wrinkled as it hung loosely from her body and even from here I could smell… something.

The last time I’d seen her in such a state, I got her to confess she’d been at a day-long orgy. It was a secret I kept from Natalie at her insistence.

“Hey,” she said with a small smile. Her noise was a mix of embarrassment and resignation.

Stepping back, I held open the door so she could enter. Shuffling past me, I quickly closed the door behind her. “Your sister has been worried sick about you.”

“Eh. This isn’t the first time and it won’t be the last.”

I followed after her. “I was worried too.” Stopping, she turned around to look at me. “Natalie mentioned you were missing yesterday. Told me to text her if you decided to come home.”

“Why were you worried?”

“You are an important friend. Why wouldn’t I be concerned when you disappear without telling anyone?”

It was hard to get a read on her noise because it seemed she didn’t know what she was feeling either. “‘Friend,’ huh…” She sighed as she leaned against my table. Her wince didn’t go unnoticed.

Moving over to stand in front of her, her noise spiked with anticipation as her eyes met mine. Reaching up, I brushed the hair from her face before she looked away. “These look bruised,” I said running my fingertips over her left cheek. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

She looked my way again and said nothing for several seconds before shrugging her shoulders. “The guy was a bit rougher than most. Nothing to worry about.”

“He didn’t—”

“No! It was all consensual.” There was a shift in her noise. I didn’t have time to examine it fully as took a negative tilt. “Sometimes I like it rough, ya know? It’s why I hung around for so long. The things he did to me... I’m surprised I still have my voice considering all the screaming I did. Haven’t been fucked like that in—”

“Stop.”

Smirking, she leaned back, propping herself up with her arms. “Why? Jealous?”

“Do you want me to be?” That smug smile she wore vanished. “I don’t understand. Are you using your sexual experiences with other men to create distance between us? Have I done something to upset you?”

She straightened, looking serious. “No! I—”

“It won’t work.” Falling silent, she stared at me as I moved in closer. She was lucky the bruising wasn’t bad. Maybe a bit red, but I didn’t think it would turn purple or anything. Natalie was going to panic though. Our eyes met and I realized I was closer than I thought. “I’d never hate you for something like that.”

Her nervousness wrapped around me as her eyes held mine. The hesitation was gone. I didn’t need to see her noise to know what she wanted from me. A little bit more and our lips would meet. There would be no stopping after that—even in the state she was. For the first time, it was entirely on me to make the final move.

I pulled away.

“Jake.”

“I’m sorry. I can’t.” The emotional pain was there as she looked away. The rejection hung heavy on her noise. “As much as I would love to continue, circumstances have changed.”

“You don’t need to make excuses,” she said as she hopped up from the table. “No guy likes sloppy seconds.” The way she said it made it obvious that had been a dig at me. Like she had taken my earlier words and was using them against me.

My hand found her arm before she could walk away. There was anger in her noise as she turned to face me. “You misunderstand—”

“Nothing to misunderstand. I get it, Jake. Really. I do.” It looked like she was going to stop there, but the pain in her noise surged. “I wasn’t expecting us to hop into bed. I’m a mess in more ways than one, but a kiss? Am I that disgusting you can’t even—”

“I have a girlfriend.” That got her to stop, surprise and shock finding unity on her face and noise. “So whatever you are thinking right now, it’s wrong. I’m not rejecting you because of what you’ve done, but because I have responsibilities to another. I wish circumstances were different. I really do. I never lied when I said you were important to me.”

“Girlfriend…” She looked stunned. None of my other words reaching her beyond that one.

I nodded. “We just started going out.”

She was silent. I tried to get a read on her noise, but it was moving too fast as layer after layer of emotion flashed by. “So it’s really because of her?” I nodded. “If she wasn’t in the picture…”

“I would say something about rocking your world, but I considering your state, a softer touch might be the better way to go.”

She chuckled, shaking her head. “A guy like you? I could take it.”

“I know.”

Tossing her head back, she ran her hands through her hair. “Fuuuck,” she groaned. “Here I thought I would be the one to pop your cherry. I feel like the damn rabbit, taking a nap while the turtle trots past to get the prize.” Turning, she headed towards my room. “Going to borrow your shower, okay?”

“Sure.”

Pausing by my doorway, she glanced back my way. “Want to help me clean up?”

“I don’t trust myself to keep my hands from wandering.”

“Kinda hoping they do.”

“Which is why I’m going to say no.”

She let out a dramatic sigh. “Can’t blame a girl for trying.”

I watched her sad noise disappear into my room. She kept the door open, but I didn’t follow or peek. While it was fresh in my mind, I reflected on what emotions floated around me. Disappointment was a major one. After all this time, she was finally ready for us to take the final step only I wasn’t able to take it. If Chloe and I hadn’t agreed to give the dating thing a try, I would be with Alexis right now.

I don’t know what had happened to make her ready, but beyond the disappointment, I saw concern. This was an important moment for Alexis and I had let her down. She wasn’t in a great place and I had the power to improve her mental and emotional state. Alexis wasn’t like Chloe in the sense that empathy and communication brought an inner strength and sense of wellbeing. She was physical in nature. Telling Alexis something wasn’t nearly as effective as showing her with action. That had never been an issue until now.

Being in a relationship was going to be a greater challenge than I expected.

I wanted to help Alexis, but besides having sex with her, I didn’t know how. She seemed to crave connection, but paradoxically pushed others away. I had no doubt she enjoyed sex, but after so long of seeing her noise and how she wielded it against me, I think she used it as an excuse to keep people away. Her simultaneous desire to be both closer and more distant to me was confusing.

I didn’t know how this new information was going to change our relationship. Alexis was one of the few friends I had and I didn’t want to lose that relationship. I only hoped she felt the same way.