Tell me why

"You just Drop that on me while..." We passed the empty middle school, and I noted that the small two lane highway was nearly deserted. I'd seen maybe three cars outside of the main town the entire trip. "Well, you just dropped that on me, you know."

"Yeah, I know Brent, but..." Kaila shrugged. "It felt important."

"You better not tell me that I slept with her too," Helen snapped her attention back over her shoulder.

"No, Helen, I didn't sleep with you," Carla sat more upright. "Rest easy. Uhm... are we doing a everybody we slept with this week thing, because officially as of now that's everybody in this car... plus and minus one."

"So, please don't make your husband's head explode by telling him about the orgy at the inn."

"The WHAT NOW?" Helen and I blurted simultaneously.

"Four does NOT count as an orgy, it has to be at least six." Charlotte countered calmly. "She was cute, this little front desk clerk your little wonder twins totally seduced."

"I... you are awful sometimes," Helen shook her head. "You sure you want to sign up for this ride, Brent? She's safe, but can throw you for a loop sometimes."

My mind whirled for a moment, trying to take in everything that had just been dropped on me in less than five minutes. Orgy, twins, seduction, and somehow in the middle of it all, me. Who had seriously, just been sitting around enjoying myself for a week. I hadn't meant for any of this to happen, but it had just... happened. Pure unadulterated chance.

"I'm lost here," I gasped out. The turns and twists of the moment seemed almost unreal, like they didn't make sense. Like there was no way this could have happened. But it had. The odds of it happening, the odds of everything coming together like this in just this manner.

"I feel like I'm in a fucking Tales from The Crypt Episode," I groaned. "I'm dead, aren't I, and this is hell. Or I'm going to wake up and be stuck in a big wooden guy where I get set on fire."

"Ugh, why would you want a story to END that way? Not funny, just depressing. Here you are, invested for a while in what happens to people, and ...." I suddenly became aware that I wasn't sure who was speaking, and as I tried to concentrate on the voice, it drifted into a random gag about the twins episode and chainsaws. Why the hell Chainsaws?

"I mean I liked Pesci in that one, but No fucking way those twins were THAT stupid." Carla objected. "A ponytail? Seriously, I mean, Brent we were able to fool, but that's because when he gets turned on he only thinks with his dick."

"I almost feel like I should be offended," I snorted. "Ok, so sweet wife of mine, did those vows of ours mean anything to you at all?"

"I crossed my fingers. Doesn't count." Kaila tossed back.

"Damn, sounds like somebody's been naughty," Carla laughed. "Sounds like a good Spanking is in order..."

"Surely you must be joking," I tossed back over my shoulder as I rolled us past yet another deserted parking lot.

"I'm being completely serious. And Don't call me Shirley." Carla spoke very seriously, and caused everyone else in the van to burst into laughter.

"Ok, Officially, as SOON as we stop the car, I want some of whatever you four are smoking."