Teddy Bear, pt. 1

Theresa sat on her couch in her pajamas, nursing a bowl of popcorn while she watched Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli sprint across the steppes of Rohan. Her phone was off. She didn’t want to deal with the barrage of texts from Ryan until the morning, when she could finally find the energy for it. In the kitchen, Therese’s friend Anne preparing margaritas in the blender. Anne had come right over, after Therese had told her about the explosive argument with Ryan at their anniversary dinner – when he had revealed that he had still been pumping money into crypto, months after he promised Therese that he would stop throwing money into get-quick-rich investment advice and start paying off his credit card and build his savings, so Therese wouldn’t have to ball him out again like she did when his car broke down or he had ended up in the ER. But he had been so proud now, telling her like it was some grand reveal, expecting Therese to be so please and impressed because supposedly the price was going up so it wasn’t a problem that he had been lying the whole time-

Therese sighed and wiped away a tear. She steadied her breathing, trying to exhale her anger and not think about it. That’s when she saw the blue-and-red flashers pulling up outside the house. Her stomach dropped sickeningly. What had Ryan done?

There was a knock. Therese rushed to open the door, not responding when Anne called out to ask what was happening. She flung the door open and was immediately met with the new and improved Officer Ferrari, a pornographic parody of a police woman.

“Theresa Geesling?” Pump, pink lips enunciated Therese’s name – low and sultry - beneath mirrored shades. The police officer had two gigantic fake tits shoved into a tiny pleather motorcycle jacket, that put a deep canyon of bronzed cleavage on display. Shiny black hair, neatly decorated with a black police cap, hung straight down to her waist. Her thick hips, cocked to one side suggestively, were hugged by a leotard bottom. Her equally thick thighs were hugged by fishnet stockings, terminating in wet-looking knee-high fuck-me boots, that gave the officer an extra half a head of height.

Therese was pretty-but-curveless and maybe a bit scrawny, with pale skin, wide eyes, and a loose ponytail of dirty blonde curls. Dumbstruck, she nodded ‘yes’ to Office Ferrari’s question.

“Good.” Ferrari licked her upper lip hungrily. She barged through the door, grabbed Therese, spun her around, and threw her to the floor. Officer Ferrari pulled handcuffs from her belt and knelt down to straddle Therese before she could pick herself up. Ferrari wrestled Therese’s hands into the cuffs. “You have the right to shut the fuck up. Anything you say is a stupid fucking idea.”

“Hey! What the hell are you do-“ Anne Leong, charging out of the kitchen, froze mid-stride. The sporty, futch woman was stuck yelling in anger, with her hand raised in accusation.

“Oh my god, Anne?!” Therese cried out. Officer Ferrari muffled her with a manicured hand.

“Oh, hi, Anne! I wasn’t expecting you. What a pleasant surprise.” Ryan sauntered in. He kicked the door closed behind him. He circled Therese and Officer Ferrari on the floor, appreciating the sight. Therese stared up at him in confusion and fear. Ryan waved at her with cruel cheer. “And Teddy Bear. I’m so glad I caught you. You weren’t picking up your phone. I was worried.

“Now, you’re probably wondering what’s happening. I’ll tell you.” Ryan wagged a remote control in his hand for Therese to see. He pointed the remote at Anne. “This is happening.”

Anne’s breasts began to growth. First, tenting her t-shirt, then pulling the fabric taunt, swelling larger and larger as (still frozen in time) they floated in defiance of gravity. Anne’s shirt pulled apart, revealing soft, round flesh – her tits, utterly disproportionate on her otherwise unchanged body, swelled up to the size of her head and beyond, until beachball-sized, gravity-resistant orbs stood out surreally from Anne’s torso, pulling free of her shirt and pushing her arms to the side. Her frozen angry face looked ridiculous peaking over the impossible mega-boobs.

Ryan glanced down at Therese and saw her utter disbelief. He laughed, then he pointed the remote again. The world stuttered and standing in Anne’s place was a cheap sexdoll, giant novelty boobs still hanging midair. Ryan unpaused Anniedoll. It toppled to the ground boob first, smacking the floor with the hollow ‘bonk’ of butyl rubber. Therese looked into the painted-on cartoon parody of Anne’s face and, mouth still muffled by Officer Ferrari, shrieked in terror.