{if@
game != true}

Press Start Game!
(If you’re seeing this message it’s because you haven’t started the game yet - please use the game menu on the right)

{else
}

Every Journey Has a Beginning

In order to learn The Joy of Semen you must first agree to follow all instructions, and obey me, Master Ken, in all things.
Please use the option below to sign a morally-binding contract with me, and the management team of Semen Inc.

{endif}