Taylor Tries to Tell YOU About Craig

"Do you know if C. is coming over? I haven't seen him in a long time."

"Definitely. Craig was excited when I told him you finished college and were coming back home. He just had some guys— THIngstodo, and he'll be here."

"Hahahaha! I see you still can't keep a secret."

"Uggh, yeah. I got better at keeping my mouth shut after high school, but I think I'm always going to be a blabbermouth about it."

"Geez, why are you being such a defeatist about it? Just keep working on it, and you'll be gold."

"Ah... sure man. Thanks."

"No prob Tay. . . Heh, 'gold'. That's gotta be the most jock way to say that."

"Well, you are an athlete."

"Damn right I am. Volleyball isn't rugby, my family's made that blatantly clear—"

"True."

"—but it makes every muscle group vital to playing. You don't get guns or calves like these in any other sport!"

"Ha ha, yeh. . ."

"You're staring, Gay Boy~"

"F-First of all, you know that I'm pan. Second, pot calling the kettle black?"

"True. Plus, C. fucks everything he see— GODDAMN DUDE!"

"S‐Sorry. Wasn't expecting you... to just say that."

"It's chill. Just didn't think people actually do spit takes."

"Yeah... do you want me to clean your TV off?"

"Yeah, We've got a couple napkins around here. With how much you got on there though, we may need a towel."

"Sorry, Craig's just been making my mou— NOPE! JUST HAND ME THE NAPKINS!"

"HAHAHA!!! Aw man I missed you. Here. . . As I was saying, C. 'has fun' with everyone he sees, so he's got us both beat in the queer-ometer. Hell, our entire class had some of him in us before our graduation ceremony."

". . ."

"Why are you making that face..? Wait, did you think you were the only one C. slept with?!"

"N-No way! I-I just forgot about it! That's all!"

"How could you forget about your first time? So soon before graduating too?"

". . . It wasn't—"

"It totally was."

"Ah— What the hell! What do you know?!"

"Dude, you only hung out with 2 people; me and C. I never had sex with you, so. . ."

"I— I just meant. . . I forgot he slept with everyone. Like I knew he slept with you, and he obviously slept with Unity and Samantha."

"And Anna. Can't forget the baby bump she had. How are his kids doing anyway?"

"Oh. Umm. . . They're. . . You know. . ."

"Yeah. They came out as the same age as us, and had to go through a lot of government stuff. They just got out though, right?"

"Y-Yeah, a year ago. Craig has some underground deals with Reynold Fletcher's staff, so all three of them get to attend the university without the usual requirements."

"Underground or under-the-table?"

"What do you think."

"Hah, true. Man, C. got his boys an education at 4. If only we were that good."

"They prefer calling themselves 22, but yeah. What you said."

"Oh no I was joshing. I'm never sucking a 66 year-old dean just so my overgrown kid gets a degree."

"Oh. Fair, I guess."

". . . So how many people did you think C.'s bedded?"

"A-Ah! Just a— a Normal, Amount."

"Pssh, and how many is that?"

"W-Well. . ."

"Oh my God Tay. You look like you're running a fever!"

"Uggghhh. Shutup shutup shutup!"

"Ahh alright. . . Who do you think he's bedding now?"

"AH—Ah. You wouldn't want to know."

". . .Okay? Not suspicious at all."

"Hey, John? Can you keep a secret?"

"U—Uh, aw man oh geez i.d.k. I guess I can try."

"John."

"Geez, sorry. . . Are you sure this isn't gonna be something I already know though?"

"Yes."

"You sure?"

". . ."

". . .Well then, lay it on me."

"Craig is God."

". . .Wh—"

"He can manipulate— Sorry— Craig is God, and he can manipulate reality, and people's memories of it."

". . . I don't get what you're trying to say. Is this some kink thing you guys do?"

"No— Well, yes, but no. He can, without a doubt, control everything about the universe. I'm the only one he let's know, always, but sometimes things stick out too much."

". . . A-Are you trying to say C. did something to me?"

"No. He doesn't like directly changing people unless they're in front of him. Honestly you're the first person I've seen in a while that's the same as before."

"Are you sure that I'm normal?"

"Y-Yeah? Is something wrong right now?"

"No, but that's the thing. How are you sure that you, let alone I, haven't been changed by C. and just don't know it?"

"Ah. . . I mean, I've been around this for 8 months now. I know what to expect with Craig."

"Do you?"

"Yeah. If he wanted to, I could just not know anything like everyone else. He wants me to know though, and we set rules together on what he can do. Him breaking a rule or not telling me something he changed defeats a purpose for him."

"Okay. . . let's say everything you said is, without a doubt true. . . Why are you telling me this?"

"Changes can stick out too much. No one ever knows what's going on unless Craig wills it, but if he changes someone in a way that doesn't let reality correct itself in time, then you are going to be confused. I'm sure there have been times that you got confused on a basic fact of life."

". . . I had a brain fart once when I was talking to the American-Rugby Team. I called them football players, and then I called football. . . something weird."

"Soccer. And yeah, that was Craig. That was too much for reality all at once, so it took longer than usual to solidify. Sometimes, Craig's changes are impossible to solidify, so they becomes impossible to comprehend. Thinking about the guy or looking at him will cause your mind to split apart, aching until you force the ability to think outside of your brain."

"Okay. . . What am I going to get migraines about?"

"So. . . Craig was having sex when I called him. He was pounding— and I mean pounding— an older man. He moaned a lot and talked a little, and. . ."

"Yeah? Who was it?"

"It. . . It was your dad, John. Your Dad is a bottom slut."

". . . Is that it?"

"Huh?"

"I. . . Dude, my Dad has always been a whore."

"Oh."

"He was like. . . The biggest cum dump in town before Craig became an adult."

"Okay, so you don't remember your dad."

"Tay, my Dad could not have been any other kind of guy, no matter what kind of magic Craig can do."

"No, your Dad was like. . . the opposite of who he is now."

"Are you saying my Dad wasn't desperate for someone to love him daily, and didn't make that my problem?"

"He did, but that was because your Mom left him, no other woman wanted him, and you didn't like girls."

"Dude, I don’t even think my Dad knows what a girl is. No other person could be so desperate for his son to be gay."

". . . Huh."

"Is that all? Was that whole 'reality manipulation' bit just a way to make fun of my Dad?"

"N-NO! I would never!"

"I mean it's fine, the dude's a tool. Half his weight has to be made from guy gunk."

"Wh—! Don't—! I—!"

"Cat caught your tongue? By cat, I of course mean C., and by caught, I mean—"

"How can you talk about your father like that?!? Do you really not think that's weird?!?"

"N-No? Geez man, you sound like my Mom. She... huh. . . Do I... have a Mom?"

"Oh Craig, he's doing too much. I'm gonna go—"

DING DONG