Taylor Tomlinson

Taylor Tomlinson is famous stand-up comedian. As every comedian, she also had to deal with hecklers from time to time. Once there was a guy who cross the line. During her performance he yelled: "Luckily you are hot. That's the only reason why there are so much men here.". Taylor was furious with that chauvinistic comment, but she kept calm. "Then I guess I still worth the money you paid. If you want cheaper women ask your own mother." Taylor answered him. "Next time I'll pay prostitute, her mouth worth the money." Heckler continued. "Come here and say it to my face, or you afraid that all this people see you getting hard next to hot women like you are virgin teenager." Taylor get back to him. Heckler really get up and started walking to the stage. Immediately 4 security guards jumps at him. "Let him go. This might ends up as pretty fun improvisation." Taylor tell them and they did as she said.

Heckler get up on stage. "We can have little stand-up comedy battle, so audience will decide who's funnier. Now you can introduce yourself to audience." Taylor told him and gave him microphone. "I'm John. I'm 26 years old and despite standing next to unfunny woman on stand-up comedy performance I'll make my money worth." John said. Immediately after that he dropped his microphone. With left hand he lift up Taylor shirt, so everybody in audience saw her black bra and bare belly. With right hand he grabbed her boob. Taylor opened mouth wide in shock and smashed her knee 2 times into John balls. John screamed like a girl, fell on the side and started rolling on the stage while holding his balls. Taylor immeditealy waved security guard to go back with her hand. "So people does this worth your money?" Taylor asked and get ovations.

"You bitch. You fucking bitch." John cried on the floor. "Still no respect. Man you really have balls. Inside your throat, but you have." Taylor said and made audience laugh again. She kneel down and pushed her hand into his pants. "What are you think you doing? OH NO NO NO!!! PLEASE DON'T!!!" John started screaming in panic when he felt her ice cold hand wrapping around his balls. "You said please. I'm shocked." Taylor said through giggle and squeezed his balls. "So tell me John who you love the most?" Taylor asked John and twisted his balls. "MY BALLS!!! MY BALLS!!!" John screamed. "Is that your answer? Does there someone you love even more?" Taylor asked and pushed her nails into his already twisted balls. "MOMMY!!! I WANT MY MOMMY!!!" John screamed from the top of his lungs. Unfortunately half meter from his mouth was microphone he dropped, so whole audience heard that. Audience really laughed hard, cause they understand he is so much pain that he didn't even heard Taylor question. "That was funny I got to admit you that. So now let have a little voting here. Audience will decide who is funnier. If that will be you, you get to touch my boobs again. I'll even let you put your hand inside my bra. BUT... If that be me, I'll kick you in the balls full ****. Also you will remove trousers, so only thing that separate my feet from your balls will be your underwear. For every 30 seconds of stalling it will be one kick more." Taylor told John who's crying on the stage.

"You are funny, just please let me go. It hurt so bad. Oh my God it hurt so bad. I'm really really sorry." John cried. After 30 seconds of silence voting was completed and Taylor got 67%, while John got 33% votes. "Pretty good John. You need to work little bit on your performance, but 1/3 of audience recognize your sense of humor. Now it's time to 100% of audience recognize how much fun I have tonight." Taylor told to John and pulled him up. John immediately pulled his trousers down, spread his legs and clenched his teeth, cause he didn't want to get kick two times. Taylor pulled her shoe and sock off and smashed her bare feet into John balls. John fell back down and screamed like a wounded animal. "You are louder than Maria Sharapova. Fuck stand-up comedy. With voice that high you should try with opera singing." Taylor said and made audience laugh once again. After a minute of screaming, John was pulled off stage by security guards. After that Taylor had an hour more of her great jokes. She was hilarious as always and audience enjoyed.

Before Taylor left the stage she said one last thing to audience: "I hope you had as much fun as me tonight. By the way we have cameras all around, but because of little incident with John tonight, nothing that happens here won't go out of this hall. Also cameras records that maybe 30 or 40 of you used mobile phones to record that little incident with John. So before you exit here we will check your mobile phones and if we find video of my little performance, you will be little bit different from Whitney. Cause there will be no more Cummings for you." Taylor said and get wide applause and laugh by the rest of audience. Guys immediately started pulling out their mobile phones and erasing videos they made.

While Taylor was leaving stage, she couldn't remove the smile from her face.