Taylor (not so) Swift

Here she was again, totally depressed, sneaking around somewhere just outside the Kennedy compound in Martha's Vineyard. This time she was going to do her best not to get caught stalking any of the Kennedys. But why was Taylor Swift so depressed? Well, every political candidate she has ever endorsed for public office lost. She had a very bad track record when it came to politicians. it was almost like her endorsements jinxed them. If she endorsed them, they were sure to lose. Even Joe Biden, who seemed to be ahead in the polls, was scared to that she had come out and endorsed him. To him it almost meant certain catastrophic loss to have her open her mouth in support of him. Because of this, he had a cease and desist order filed against her, so she would shut up.

"I'm beautiful, I'm talented. Any man would be happy to be with a rich little girl like me, wouldn't they?" she asked herself. She looked up at the sky, arms wide open, and shouted, "Why doesn't anybody like me? Is it too much to want to be fucked by a Kennedy?" Her eyes suddenly went wide with horror, and she clasped both hands over her mouth as she came to the sudden realization of what she had just done. Moments later she heard dogs barking somewhere on the grounds of the Kennedy compound. The barking was getting closer. Deciding it was best not to stick around, and get caught for stalking again, she did the only thing left to do. She ran for dear life.

This time, at least she had a fighting chance to escape. The last time she tried stalking the Kennedy men, she had worn a sexy little black wrap around mini dress with a pair of black fuck me heels. Now she was dressed for stalking Kennedys. She was all done up in camouflage, from head to toe, and wore a nice, comfortable pair of jogging shoes. She ran through the woods with reckless abandon, jumping over fallen trees. But the dogs got closer and closer to her, it seemed, no matter how fast she ran. "Great, I'm gonna get caught again!" she thought to herself. This time she'd probably get a restraining order, jail time, and probation. But she was not ready to give up just yet.

She was nearing the edge of the woods where she had parked her car. All she needed to do was throw the dogs off her scent. It was then she got the bright idea to start taking off her clothes, and throw them into the heavy thicket. The dogs would smell the clothes, and chase after them instead of her.

Her camo cap came first of course. She removed it from her head, and flung it into the thicket. Next came her camo jacket, which she also flung into the thicket, followed by her camo shirt. She stopped momentarily to remove her shoes and socks, and gave them a fling. Next was her camo sport bra as she continued to run for her life. Her breasts bounced freely as she ran and undid her camo pants. She stopped and shimmied out of them, giving them a fling. All she had left on was her camo thong.

The dogs must have taken the bait, for they no longer sounded like they were closing in on her. But just to be on the safe side, she removed her camo thong, and gave it a pitch into the thicket. "Now I should be free and clear," she smiled to herself as she ran the last leg of the journey back to her waiting car. It was at that moment she came to another startling revelation. The keys to the car were still in her camo pants pocket!

(Disclaimer: No dogs took a bite out of crime during the writing of this chapter. Nor was the Kennedy compound at Martha's Vineyard littered with camo clothing. At least as far as the author knows. Nor does the author believe any Kennedys were fucked during its creation. One never knows, do they? However, it was proven beyond the shadow of a doubt that Taylor Swift is a Kennedy groupie.

"I am not!" an irate Taylor said. "I was hunting bear, and I got lost!"

Sure you were, Taylor, sure you were! I bet that's what every naked woman at the Kennedy compound has to say.

Any similarities to events either real or fictional is purely coincidental. Stay tuned for our next exciting chapter as Taylor figures out a way to recover her car keys. Until next time, happy reading! I hope you enjoyed this political spoof for what it is.)