Tara shows up (sorta)

Oh, God, thought Buffy as she ran down the street wearing nothing but running shoes. A fully dressed Joyce-in-Faith was her only companion and though the street appeared to be empty, Buffy could not help but picture a thousand prying eyes watching her every move and noting every bounce of her -- ahem -- curves.

This is almost worse that the dream I used to have back in high school, Buffy thought. The one in which I ran after the school bus stark naked. At least that was a dream. At least I hope that was a dream. Not one of my friends -- or enemies -- have ever suggested otherwise.

Wow! You ran after the school bus naked? said a voice inside her head.

It was a familiar voice. Tara's voice. But what was Tara's voice doing inside her head?

I'm sorry, Buffy, but Willow insisted I do a telepathy spell to warn you about something going on in the Bronze, said Tara's voice.

How come you never did this before? asked Buffy.

Willow never asked me, Tara replied. Anyway, you need to be careful when you go to the Bronze today. Joyce is there but she's not really Joy --

I know that already, thought Buffy. Faith did a body swap with my mother and right now I need to find her so that I can reverse the process.

Oh, good, said Tara. Then you already know. Just so you know, Willow and I are working on a way to reverse the process but we need you to keep Faith at the Bronze till we have a chance to finish our work.

Don't worry, thought Buffy. I'm already on my way there with my mom.

With your mom? asked Tara. Buffy, you might not want to do that. Faith is being surrounded by armed men as we speak. If you don't get there quick, they're going to haul her away. You really don't want your mother to be in a situation like that.

But they can't do that, thought Buffy.

Yes, they can, said Tara. That's why you need to get there as fast as possible. And take the sewer route like the vamps do so they won't see you coming. Now about that dream...

Sorry, Tara, thought Buffy. I don't have time to discuss that right now. And anyway, I really don't need you to be Xander in a dress. I need you to be Tara.

Aw, that's sweet, said Tara. I like you too but you're not really my type. And besides, I'm with Willow right now.

Er, that's not what I meant, thought Buffy. And anyway about these armed men -- Hey, what do you mean I'm not really your type?

Joyce-in-Faith turned toward Buffy at that moment and asked, "Who are you talking to, Buffy?"

"Tara," said Buffy, blushing at the realization that she must have voiced her last few thoughts out loud.

Then one beat later -- after noting the expression on Joyce-in-Faith's face -- Buffy said, "Yes, Mom. I know she's really not here. She's talking to me through telepathy so you can stop raising your eyebrows. I really am not crazy."

Though there are times like these when I wish I really were crazy, Buffy thought. Heck, there are times like these when I sometimes wish I was back in the mental hospital.

You were in a mental hospital? asked Tara.

Oh, great, thought Buffy. Now Tara knows. Can this day get any worse?