Talk to Mary

While you don’t want to admit outright that you’ve no idea where you are or what you’re doing here, you decide to try and get some clues by talking to your wife as she sits opposite you. You try to think of a comment or question that won’t give the game away but might elicit some information. You can’t be sure whether you’ve been here before but it’s a nice enough environment, and the two of you are clearly waiting for something. So this seems like a safe opener:

“I like it here. How long do you think it’ll take?” you ask.

Mary looks confused, and glances around. You sense she’s scrambling for an answer before she settles on her response.

“How long what’ll take?” she asks in reply. She’s not stupid, your wife, and now she’s caught you off guard with a pretty clever tactic. Now your only options are to admit you’ve no idea what’s going on or try to bluff an answer that might be completely wrong. But wait, there’s another way.

“Well, I’ve no idea what’s taking them so long,” you reply. You’re pleased with this, it could cover a multitude of things.

In response, Mary raises her eyebrows and shrugs her shoulders, then goes back to staring at the wall behind you. She has a somewhat confused look on her face and you get the impression she’s also trying to figure out where you are and why you’re here.

That makes you feel a bit more confident about admitting you’re in that position too, and you start to consider how to formulate the words to do that. But before you get a chance to say anything more, it seems your waiting is over.