Take the offer

I thought about it before agreeing spoke, “Five wishes?” “Five wishes!” I shook his hand before drafting the agreement up quickly Hades read, “I, Zeus grant James, son of Thánatos and Cersei, great grandson of Hades and Persephone, Great great grandson of Aphrodite and Ares witnessed by Hades and Hera grant James 5 favours in exchange for my life, my wife’s life and the dropping of any bad feelings harboured against my person. These five are:” I walked thought about it before saying, “1. After I have dealt with Artemis all deeds will be wiped clean and I will not be persecuted, with that comes granted immunity in my future actions from any punishment or any sort. 2. I will live in peace and quiet, somewhere with a house in Elysium or an other place I seek fit, I will have no obligations and no god will bother me with any business. 3. I will be allowed to marry who I want, when I want and how I want with no obligations or criticism. 4. I want a pet animal that is loyal to me and my family only, something unkillable and great protector!” “Agreed all agreed!” Zeus spoke causing me to say, “My final wish is actually a gift to all our realms! I want you to be castrated, I can’t kill you but castrating you will stop you from: raping goddesses, ruining relationships and it stops Hera from punishing the women that you seduce!” “What if I want children” “Talk to Hekate or other goddesses who produce asexually!” “Sex?” “There is more than one way to get relief!” “I agree!” “What? Brother?” Hades shook his head before saying, “We have never been so divided as we have now, we are so separate that we now all live in different realms and we are all stabbing each other in the back, part of this is down to your careless sleeping around and producing bastard children; we don’t have any of this problem...” “You great grandson has been killing his own family...” “He gets that from Ares and Aphrodite not us!” “It’s not fair on me, Zeus you promised to make it up to me!” “But we will never have children again!” “Maybe they are right look at it... Persephone your daughter unleashed monsters on earth, Athena causes endless troubles for us all and Aphrodite who is literally sleeping with all the god’s and causing them to fight!” “Fine! If you think it will help but I want...” before he could finish his sentence I lifted his toga and in one slice cut his testicles off, “You may want to get that seen to!” I barked tired of his whining and throwing his testicles into the fire stated, “I will be back for my house after I have finished with Artemis!”