Take The Quest, Find Bo Peep

You wake up with a headache, but no broken bones! So we’ll call that a victory. “What was that?” You groan, sitting up. It looks like you're in the medical tent of that boob doctor. Only he's not around. You see an old man in a mask, brown jacket, and mittens sitting by Tarzan’s medical bed, talking to him. “Vermont Senator Bernie Sanders?”

“You were attacked by a creature of a night, a devil! A vampire.”

“Right, Count Dracula I know.”

“Dracula take Jane!” Tarzan howls slamming his fists on the bed.

“Yes.” Bernie nodded his head. “This one man wants to take 99% of all the women, and turn them into his horrible undead brides, it’s wrong, it is not right, something has to be done to ensure that all citizens of this nation have a chance to live their lives without fear of becoming a vampire.”

You rub your head miserably. “Are you being Van Helsing right now?”

“The Pharmaceutical Industry, and big corporations, they are all blood sucking evils, vampires are not so different. Higher taxes, and a stake through the heart, that's what the American people need, it's what they deserve, it's what we here today demand.”

“Right of course. Well what should we do? Where did he take Lacey… Bo Peep… Jane?”

“He’s taken them all up to his clock tower, he’s too good to sleep in the dorms, like the rest of us.”

“Tarzan save Jane!” Tarzan Yells jumping out of the bed, and to his feet.

You rub your sore head. “Okay, okay, I’m with you.” You have no idea how you’d be of any use, but he’s your best friend. “Thanks for helping us Bernie, what do we owe you?”

Bernie smiles. “With the power of socialized medicine, you don’t owe me anything. Just increased taxes to cover the expenses.”

Tarzan growls. “Tarzan think taxation is theft.”

Uh oh. “What the fuck are you talking about Tarzan? We’re trying to live in a god damn society here, pay your due. As if the benefit of living in our society is not worth more than the taxes you pay… " To be fair he was a naked man raised by gorillas, and also probably British. "nevermind… in your case I’ll give you an exception.”

“When gorilla get hurt, we just leave to die.”

You chuckle. “Yeah buddy, we’re just about there too.”

Bernie nods his head. “It’s a disgrace, but Tarzan. Under my plan the amount you would pay on healthcare is actually less than the tax hike, and you don’t have to worry about going into crippling debt just to afford what you need to survive.”

“Mmm, Tarzan like that math. Sound like good plan, why no government pass?”

“NO ONE FUCKING KNOWS TARZAN!” You scream with all the lib rage in your heart. You take a second to collect yourself. “Sorry you had to see that Bernie.”

Bernie pats you on the shoulder with those meme worthy mittens. “It’s alright. It’s good to see, young folks worked up on the issue… did you, uh, did ya vote for me in the primaries?”

You shake your head. “Cory Booker.”

“Booker?!?!”

You shrug. “He’s just a very empathetic speaker, and I like that. Plus he made alleged **** Brett Kavanaugh cry, and I really like that.” You get to your feet and join Tarzan.

“Alright well, I’ll be counting on your vote next time! Good luck boys, remember they don’t like garlic. Which is crazy, it’s a staple, dice some up with some onions and cook chicken in that, it’s delicious.”

“Okay Bernie, thanks again!” You wave goodbye with a wide smile, and step away with your beefy best friend. “Crazy old fart, he’s like a hundred, what’s he doing still running?”

Tarzan looks off into the distance. “Sometimes, silverback, wisest of all gorilla.”

“Maybe.” You cast your eyes back to Bernie’s socialist utopia he’d created in a ten foot square of the gym. A dream of what could have been. You took another step away, and then turned around completely. “Bernie!” He turns to look at you. “They’re a rotten crowd, you’re worth the whole damn bunch put together!”

“But then, just as he’s so close to having her she draws away from him! Out of his grasp, and though he doesn't know it yet, this is as close as he’ll ever get, and do you know why?”

Tarzan ponders this question as the two of you roll up on the clocktower. “Because she still love husband.”

You nod. “In some ways yes, but you see Daisy represents the american dream. Always so close, just beyond his reach, if he were only richer, from a different family, if she wasn’t married. If if if.”

“American dream, just that. Dream. Like banana waterfall.”

“That’s exactly right, just like a banana waterfall.”

“So what happen to Gastby?”

“Well he leaves the hotel with Daisy, but she drives. On the way back she hits the mistress killing her. Everyone thinks it’s Gatsby so her angry husband comes after him. Nick spends the night with Gatsby who finally tells him the truth about who he is, and even after everything he’s still hopeful that he can have the life he’s dreamed of with Daisy. Nick eventually says that line I said to Bernie, and leaves. He’s glad it was the last thing he said to Gastby, because it’s the only complement he’s ever given him. Then hours later, Gastby is murdered by the mechanic, neither Tom or Daisy pay for their crimes, or sins. It all gets pinned on Gatsby.”

“That sad.”

“Yeah.”

“Good story though.”

“Oh yeah.” The two of you stop in front of the clock tower, necks craning high into the sky to try to get the full image of the thing. “I don’t remember it being this tall.” Bolts of lightning darted about the top of the tower.

“Where that lightning come from?”

You wipe your face down with your hands. “I don’t know, I’ve given up on trying to make sense of Halloween. Do you really think we should just barge in there? Shouldn’t we at least have a wooden stake or something?” You turn to look at Tarzan but he’s not there. The front door of the tower is busted down, your boy is already inside. “Hey! Hey! Don’t leave me alone out here!”

You follow in after him, and enter a dust and spider web covered room that looks like it belongs in a gothic horror movie, not a modern highschool. There’s a spiraling staircase leading high into the shadows of the tower. “Spooky.” Tarzan observes, cautions taking on a few stairs. They’re wooden, and have a faded red rug running down them. As he steps on them, they squeak aggressively.

“No doubt, this is so wack. I think we should go back. Everyone’s going to turn back to normal soon anyway.”

“No! Tarzan save Jane.”

Damn! How could you argue with that? “Tarzan! Do you love her?" You chase after him to the stairs, and walk up a few yourself.

“Huh?”

“Jane, man. Do you love her?”

He blushes and looks away. “Uuuh, Tarzan just like Jane, and protect her. Love such strong word.”

You take a chance and slap him across the face, it defiently hurts you more than it hurts him. You’re also fully prepared for him to break you over his knee after that. “Listen to me you son of a bitch, if i'm about to fight off a horde of vampires for this girl, I gotta know if you love her."

"She just friend!"

"Wow." You turn your back on him. "You have abs of steel, and a heart of ice."

"Okay! Maybe Tarzan do! But what good that do? Tarzan no, know how to be in relationship."

"What are you talking about?"

"Tarzan only destroy pussy! Who he when, she cry, or has bad day? Tarzan no know! Tarzan no good for that stuff."

"You have to try Tarzan, that's what a relationship is. You just have to try."

"What if... Jane no love me back?"

"But what if she does? Love is all about making yourself **** man. You'd do anything for her?"

"Yes."

"Then be willing to get hurt by her."

You see a fire ignite within his eyes. He closes his hand into a fist. "You right! Tarzan love Jane! Me coming Jane! Aaaaaaahahahaaaaaaahahahahaaaaaaaaaaaah!" He runs up the stairs at a break neck speed and as he does, her begin to her a squeaking sound.

"eee eee squeak squeak."

You and Trazan keep close on your way up. "What that sound?"

"Rats." You answer. "In the book Dracula has command over vermin. Wait a second... Mindy and her friends were..."

Something falls on your back, heavy as a sack of potatoes. You try to get back up but it pushes you back down. You look ahead to see four more of the things swarming Tarzan. Large rat like creatures, each the size of an adult woman, grey fur, sharp claws, and a long awful pink tails.

"Rat furries Tarzan!" You screech at the top of your lungs. You suddenly feel claws and teeth biting at your slacks and shirt. Fabric is shredded as they pull your clothing apart, leaving you naked and scratched up. Then you feel a tongue start licking your asshole. "Horny furries!"

"Too many!" Tarzan laments. "One got Tarzan's speedo!" Damn, now you were going to have to stare at that firehose he called a dick all night.

You're flipped over onto your back by the two ratgirls who have you held down. One keeps licking your taint, while the other completely swallows your dick with her monstrous maw. Each one also has one of your hands gripped in her strong claw filled paw. "Ladies I'm flattered and all, but this really isn't a good time or species for this."

"Squeee." A third rat girls stands over you, straddling your body. You see hanging from her chest, an unbelievable set of tits. Gigantic, absolutely cartoonish. "You're not getting to the master lover boy, so just lay back and enjoy some rat pussy until you break. She plops down on your stomach and begins to lean forward massive breasts pulling closer to your like two wrecking balls. If you'd hadn't recognized the voice, you would have been able to recognize the boobs.

"Mindy, your boobs! They're real!" And they're fantastic. Only they were covered in that same course hair as the rest of her body. "No no no!" You squirm and try to get away from them, this is the first time you've ever not wanted to motorboat a girl. "I like a natural look, but this is too much." You cry and close your eyes tight, as the tits press against your face like a wire brush.

Gross gross gross gross gross, rat tits.

"Aaaaargh!" A pirate voice booms from not far down the stairs. "Ye best release the welp bilge rat, or ye'll have me to deal with."

Rat Queen Mindy pulls up from you, and twists her back so she can see Captain Brook and her crew charging up the stairs. "Squeee, this is our trash, get your own sea dog."

Brooke adjusts her panty eye patch and lets out a chuckle as she gets to the same level as the rest of you. "That's where you're wrong. I be claiming that spit of land some time ago." She draws her cutlass. "So I'll be saying this nicely only once, get off my man!"

Mindy squeaks annoyed. "I've already marked him." She moves forward and rubs her pink pest pussy slowly over your face. Her juice is thick, smelly, and everywhere.

"Oh god, I'm going to be sick." You gag, and try to get away.

Mindy then gets to her feet, and all her rats join her, standing behind her in resolute defiance at the sudden appearance of the pirates. You feel your dick and balls exposed to air once more. "But I'll gladly fight you for him!" The rats charge into battle, jumping on all fours. Some of them run along the wall, gripping to it with their long nails.

Brooke lets out a warcry and sends her men forward into battle. "Go Michael, we'll hold them off!"

Finally free , you twitch uncontrollably and rub as much of Mindy's slime off of your face as you can. "Thanks Brooke!" You yell and run over to Tarzan. "Let's get breakfast after this."

"Argh, that sounds nice. Ihop?"

"Yeah that sounds great." You get to your muscle bound friend and find him covered in hickies. "Are you alright Tarzan."

He shudders. "Tarzan felt tongue, in his butthole."

"I know. This would have been really hot if those were human women. I completely agree." You hold up your hand. "Can't stop now, we still have floors to go."

What's even happening anymore?