Taggie and Delphi, mail-ordered magical pranks

“…and with faculty boasting thousands of years of experience, the Elite Elven College of Knowledge is simply the best academy on all the reams by any relevant metric.”

Kim followed the headmistress across the immaculate wooden walkway. The elf’s every step, every sway of the hip, was elegant and graceful. Kim, on the other hand, stumbled left and right. The box on her hands had not gotten any lighter.

Surrounded by exotic plants and complex buildings carefully woven into the greenery, she almost felt like she stepped on a slice of the Garden of Eden. Even the sun shone at just the right temperature.

Beautiful elves of all kinds were frolicking on the campus. Some practicing the arts; dancing, singing, playing instruments, while others engaging in complex philosophical discussions. It all seemed too idyllic to be true.

“Y-yeah, so long as you are an elf…” Kim gulped. Every elf that met her gaze had glared at her. Was it because she was leaving dirty footprints in their pristine institution? Or was it because of her clothes? Her short skirt was so ragged it seemed like it had picked a fight with a cheese grater, and her white shirt was missing half its buttons.

Well, It’s not Kim’s fault that the fastest way to this slice of paradise was across the Swamp of the Mud Wrestling Nymphs! She had to find a better route for next time… if there was a next time.

“Well, obviously, the better deserve the best. That’s our motto here at the E.E.C.K. So, as you can see, Miss Kim, this is a veritable utopia for scholars. Our pupils have no needs or want unfulfilled; they can dedicate their millennia to following our strict program and further our understanding of science and magic.”

The headmistress stopped walking and turned around, her shinning purple hair glittering with the motion. “So, you’ll excuse me for saying that there has been a misunderstanding. There’s no way anyone here would have asked for a delivery because there is nothing outside this institute that would be of interest to us.”

“But there is! We double-checked, someone ordered this box here, see? It says it was ordered by a ...Miss Tagekyaa.”

“Well, that’s a dumb name, and not one of us. This is obviously a prank. I bet it was from those hooligans at the Dwarven…”

“According to this magical tracker thingy,” Kim continued, pointing at a beeping arrow glowing in the side of the box, right under the words: Morpheus Palace, we make your dreams come true! “The recipient is right over there, maybe behind that tree?”

The elf’s aquamarine eyes narrowed. “Could it be?” Lifting her cane, she taped the oak tree that Kim pointed at. A light emerged from where the cane touched wood, and the bark gave away.

A hollow began to form on the tree; books of all kinds fell near Kim’s feet as it widened. Both the human and the headmistress gasped. Inside the tree trunk were two half-naked, multicolored elves. They both turned to stare at the opening with hope, a wry smile forming on their faces when they saw their headmistress.

What?! Why did the tree open like that? Kim glanced left. Another elf walked up to a tree, pressed it, and pulled some books from the hollow that magically materialized itself. “Oh, I see. You use trees as lockers. Clever.”