Suzy and Ben have “the talk”

About an hour later Ben and Suzy were sat in a work station a few feet away as the older man toiled and tinkered at his device. Several ugly curse words echoed through the house, tools were thrown around, but in the end there was some measure of progress.

“I don’t know how the hell the future version of me figured out how to utilise tritium as a power supply, but I think I’ve gotten an alternate source going.” His grin sagged a little, “though it’ll require hours to form any kind of charge.”

“That’s great!” The volume and sudden enthusiasm of Suzy’s voice took them off guard, but the girl caught herself and amended, “I mean, it’s great that you’ve got something that can work.”

Ben felt his gaze drawn to her. They would be parting soon, and the thought made his heart pound and his stomach churn. Why was he feeling so anxious? It wasn’t like they weren’t ever going to see each other again. The two were intrinsically linked in life.

…but it wouldn’t be the same, would it? He played the internal games, bouncing his thoughts back and forth. When he returned to his own time, Suzy would be in her forties, married and settled into the role of housewife and mother. And depending on how correct Daniels was with his theory, she might not even remember the time they shared. She would still love him, of course. But it would be different, and he felt a small measure of grief for that coming separation.

The scientist went back to his tinkering, setting up multiple car batteries and attaching them to another device which in turn plugged into the time machine. The result was a jumbled mess, but there was a dim icon on its screen indicating the charge process.

Ben watched the process with mixed emotions and decided there and then that he needed to tell Suzy everything. He didn’t want the truth of what he felt to be consigned to the mists of time.

He took her hand, and tried to contain the way her smile got his pulse racing. “I need to tell you something.”

Suzy’s blue eyes, the same blue eyes that she had given him, searched his face in concern. After a moment or so she nodded in understanding. She followed him out into the next room, sitting down across from him on a sofa, face full of worry.

“What’s up?”

How could he put it into words? He paced around a little bit, uselessly trying to jolt his brain into finding an answer.

“Ok,” he said, coming to a stop and kneeling before her, “I need you to be honest with me, and I’ll be honest with you. Ok?”

Suzy’s brow knit together in confusion, but she nodded. “Ok….”

“Realistically, how do you think we know each other in the future?”

She blinked. Then her eyes wandered about the room, looking at everything and nothing. “I …uh…fuck,” she chewed on her bottom lip, “I know it’s corny as hell, but I kind of thought that maybe we were engaged or something? Maybe I meet you in a few years?” A blush spread across her cheeks. “I’m being a dumb kid about all this, I know.”

Ben closed his eyes. He knew this was going to hurt, but he had to do it. He couldn’t leave her waiting for a lover that wouldn’t even exist for many years.

“Look at me Suzy, my hair is blonde…just like yours,” he said, swallowing back a burst of emotions he didn’t want to process. “My eyes are blue, just like yours.” Said eyes filled with tears that he desperately tried to keep at bay, “my nose is the same nose you have.”

He looked directly up at her now. “I have all these things, because I inherited them from you.”

Suzy’s face went very pale. She was unmoving in her shock, like a statue sculpted in a moment of pure fright. Her eyes never left him, and there was no longer concern or confusion. Only horror.

“Mom,” she whispered, voice strangled with pain. “That’s…what you called me, the first time…”

“I didn’t intend for this,” he offered weakly.

The shock on Suzy’s face very quickly cracked and gave way to rage. She hit him hard, sending him back onto his ass, and then kept at it. The second punch filled his mouth with the coppery taste of blood, while the third had his ears ringing.

“You fucking creep!” She screamed, crying, “How could you? How could you do this to me!”

Her voice huffed, sobbed, choked on grief. “You fucking….” She began to shake as the tears came harder, and then sank to the floor, “ you fucking tricked me,” she gasped, “You made me think someone could ….could actually like me!”

“I do!” He shouted back, his own tears flowing freely now. “I wasn’t lying,” he closed the distance between them some, “please believe me, I wasn’t trying to trick you. I just…I didn’t know you! I didn’t know that I would feel this way…”

She looked at him miserably, tears unending as her whole body shook with pain and heartache. “It doesn’t matter…” she gestured to him and then to herself, her hand coming to rest on her stomach. “All this…s’not fair…”

He could do nothing as she pushed him away, rose to her feet and ran from the room. The front door swung open and then slammed shut, leaving Ben alone with his despair.

Regret and shame filled his being, along with a thousand questions. He hurt her, perhaps more than he thought he would and it felt like he was caught in a maelstrom. What could he have done differently? How could he have made her understand? Was she going to be ok? She had to go back to a home with a disapproving mother and a sister who would absolutely revel in humiliating her.

Things were an ugly mess and Ben felt disoriented as he stumbled into the garage where Daniels was still monitoring the device’s power levels.

Daniels looked at him in concern. “What’s happened?”

“Suzy’s gone,” he croaked, “I told her everything.”

“Ah,” The scientist nodded solemnly, “that can’t have been very fun. But it’s for the best. Putting aside the,” he blanched, “Oedipal aspects…Susan has her own life that she needs to live.”

The device was well and truly back online. It’s touch screen glowing in the darkness of the garage, the clock face displaying prominently.

“Another hour or so and you’ll have enough juice to travel back to the 21st Century!”

Ben stared at the little device. “How much battery does it have now?”

The scientist squinted at the machine. “Oh, about fifteen to twenty percent charge?” He scratched his chin thoughtfully. “If I’ve run the numbers right, that’s enough for a few smaller jumps, but nothing so substantial as entire decades. So just hang tight.”

In his sad, miserable state, an idea occurred to Ben. Even if his existence wasn’t on the line, he had wrecked things with Suzy, and maybe even ruined the girl’s life. Maybe if he went back…maybe he could do better on a second time around?

Moving almost on autopilot he walked over to the device and begin to play with the time and date dial, rolling things back a day.

“What are you doing?” Daniels asked, “hey, what are you-”

But it was too late, Ben had already input the time and felt himself enveloped by white oblivion…