Sure.

"Alright, I'll bite. What's it say?"

Louise looked at me like I'd just given her $1,000,000 in cash for Christmas.

"Okay," she started, "It says you... "must explore your body in a way nobody else has before. The goal is simple, complete at least one of the items on the list... what list?"

"Wait, so y-"

"Shut up and let me find it!"

I decided to do so, not wanting to be victim to another one of her vengeance pranks.

"Alright, so it says "Pleasure your partner from the outside. In other words, if you do not penetrate your partner, what you do is fair game."

I locked eyes with her and stared in disbelief. Did she really just read that with zero hesitation?

"You wanna do all that with me? All of it?"

"Yeah, I do. It seems fun."

"If we do all of that, my balls will raisins!"

"Before you complain, there's more. It might interest you."

I kept my look of disbelief but gestured for her to continue.

"Participants must submit video evidence of what they intend to do. If the video is deemed sufficient, it is eligible for a cash prize proportionate to the content of the video. There are several categories. One for each of the aforementioned actions, and a..."

"A what?"

"Hey, Daniel, you probably wouldn't believe this if I told you, so come look at this yourself."

I looked closer at her screen.

"A grand prize?" I said.

"Yeah," she continued, "if you complete a so-called "Marathon Mode".

"You mean-"

"Yeah, your nuts might just end up dried after all."

“We aren’t gonna- ”

“We do need money, don’t we?”

I sighed. “How much…?”

“$500 per entry, successful completion of Marathon Mode nets you $5000.”

“Hmm…”