Sue Storm Asks Spider-Man How She Can Help

Early on in their acquaintance, the Invisible Woman had learned the difference between Spider-Man's spider-sense and Daredevil's radar sense. Daredevil always knew where she was, whether Sue was invisible or not. Spider-Man only knew where she was if she was a threat. Standing quietly, alone and invisible, and he was as blind to her as anyone else.

Which is why Sue held her breath and stood very, very still as Reed Richards explained why Spider-Man couldn't have children.

Spider-Man squatted on a stool, with that kind of coiled energy that made Sue think he might leap off and scuttle across the ceiling at a moment's notice. Reed took a chair opposite him, a white labcoat over his costume. They faced each other man to man, the lab locked to keep out anyone that wasn't already inside.

"Biologically, there's nothing wrong with your sperm sample. Some trace radioactivity, but actually less than mine. Sperm count is well within healthy parameters for your age, motility is good...it isn't a question of quality, my friend," Reed said gravely. "It's quantity."

Reed held up an empty sample cup.

"The average male ejaculates about 5 ml of semen during sex. Less, if they have been ejaculating frquently, or if they suffer from premature ejaculation issues. There are biological causes that can cause low volume, but frankly even if you naturally produce less ejaculate than average, that should be sufficient for impregnation—provided it gets into your wife."

Peter Parker said nothing.

Reed leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

"I know this isn't something you want to hear," he said quietly. "And it stays entirely between us. But we both know there's a reason why your sample was so small. If you can address that reason, and—engaged in normal relations with your wife—I think pregnancy will ensue naturally."

Spider-Man went very still. Sue looked from Reed to the web-slinger and back again. She didn't know her husband to be particularly delicate with anyone's feelings, but it seemed to her that they were having an entirely separate conversation.

Reed sighed and leaned back.

"I can provide some vitamins and supplements—Zinc and whatnot—to encourage healthy sperm production. Most of the commercial volume enhancers on the market are so much hokum. If necessary, we can arrange for Mary Jane to go on fertility ****. But that still requires—" Reed let the sentence hang.

Spider-Man nodded. Once. He stepped off the stool and extended a hand. The two men shook, as only two men can when one has seen the other's sperm under a microscope.

"Thanks, Reed. I'll—try," Peter promised.

Sue let Spider-Man crawl out a window before she put the invisible box around him. He almost escaped, his spider-sense alerting him a microsecond before the invisible **** field fully materialized. Which is why Sue had nested two invisible boxes, one inside the other. The wall-crawler scuttled around the invisible surface.

"You keep that up, you'll put the mimes out of business," Sue joked, as she faded into view.

"Sue!? What's going on? Let me out!" Spider-Man said.

"I will, when you tell me what's going on," the Invisible Woman said. She sat on an invisible chair next to the trapped hero, as the wind whipped past them both. "I want to help you. Both of you. And I know what Reed told you. He seems to have an idea of why your sample was so small. So are you going to tell me, or do I have to go ask Mary Jane?"

Spider-Man froze.

"You wouldn't," he said.

Sue's smile set off Peter Parker's spider-sense in new and terrible ways.