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Stupid, Vapid Bimbos Continued

“That’s right, I think these heels will make your legs look better and serve as a better reminder of who you’re supposed to be.”

“Please don’t make me wear these, Bree! I’ll break my ankle in them!”

“You should’ve thought about that before you went and made a mistake, Ashlyn!”

Brian sulked as he strapped the ridiculously high heels to his feet. And he’d thought he’d done very well on his date! The whole mess started when he made fun of his younger sister and her friends for being “stupid, vapid bimbos” who care more about their looks than bettering themselves. Which might have just been shrugged off if it wasn’t for the fact that Bree and her friends were, between them, going to school for pre-law, pre-med and business, while Brian was in his sixth year and still undecided after going through three majors. Not to mention living on Bree’s couch, after she and her roommates so graciously took Brian in after his off-campus rental fell through. What they did with their free time was their business! Thus Brian’s choice was easy, let Bree train him to be exactly what he thinks she is, or find a new place to live? He naturally chose the former, which was why he spent the next week shaving his legs, learning how to paint his nails, do his makeup, and coordinating outfits to become “Ashlyn”, Bree’s younger cousin who loved to spend her free time taking selfies for an Instagram account that Bree painstakingly curated. Then, as her “final exam” of sorts, Bree set “Ashlyn” up on a date with Logan, a boy from her poli-sci class. Brain hated every minute of the date, especially that he’d gone from being in his twenties to being just eighteen, and “taking a year off to like, find herself,” as Brian had been coached to say, especially while twirling a strand of his newly long hair.

The night had seemingly been going well, and Brian had peppered in all of the girlish mannerisms, upspeaks, and vocal frys that he’d been ordered to, monitored by Bree’s friend Jessica, who happened to be tending bar that night. While there, they ran into a few of Logan’s friends, who Brian recognized from his classes, and had to play up the girlishness even more so they wouldn’t suspect. They ended up taking part in a pub trivia game, although “Ashlyn” was no help, but still, the other members picked up her slack and the team was one question away from winning! It was the final question, and Logan’s team was stumped. And while Brian had grinned and bore it while incorrectly answering questions about basic science or literature with a feminine giggle and a snap of gum, the question was about a movie, and not just any movie, but Brian’s favorite movie of all time. The only problem is, it’s a very highbrow movie, not something that a “stupid, vapid bimbo” would know about, but Brian didn’t care. He couldn’t sit back and watch them lose the final question, so he gave the team the answer. They were surprised that “Ashlyn” had known it, but hadn’t questioned it, and Brian’s reward was a victory kiss from his date. He’d seen Jessica’s eyes lock with his, but he figured the kiss would more than make up for the momentary lapse of judgement. Boy was he wrong, and now he was at the shoe store with Bree, wearing a crop top and yoga pants, picking out impossibly high heels so that he’d be more focused on not falling rather than being brainy during his next date.

“And if you mess up on your next date, I think we might have to take the next step… And I think you’ll look really cute as a blonde!”