Straight-to-bathroom delivery

Soon enough, while Chelsea was audibly pissing in the bathroom, the doorbell rang.

Damn, I thought - I was hoping he'd wait until Chelsea was out so she'd have to get the pizza herself. I opened the door to the DoorDash driver.

"Here's your order, sir," he handed me the pizza.

"Hey," I had a devilish thought form inside me, "my girlfriend's pretty drunk and is in the bathroom, wanna deliver this to her?"

The driver hesitated but shrugged in affirmation, keeping his wits about him as he looked around to make sure I wasn't kidnapping him. My eyes widened in glee and his widened in shock as we saw that Chelsea was too drunk to even close the bathroom door.

"What the hell?!" Chelsea shot up and covered herself with her hands, regaining 25 percent of her sobriety but still sitting wide-legged on the toilet.

"Pizza's here," I shrugged nonchalantly.

"Ah shit, my bad," the driver averted his gaze as he handed me the pizza to hand to Chelsea, "I didn't know you went to the bathroom naked."

"I don't go to the bathroom naked!" Chelsea staggered up on her feet to defend her honor, incidentally dropping her hands and failing to put them back up as she gave the driver the view of a lifetime from his peripheral vision, "I... I..." she stammered before losing her thought.

"I'll see myself out," the driver went on his way, lucky for me not worrying about the tip.

"Damn it, Jason," Chelsea accosted me as the man shut and locked our front door, "now that guy thinks I'm sort of nudist weirdo!"

"Sorry, babe," you try to explain, "I just didn't want you to have to walk all the way to the living room to eat."