Straight Bussin' on Main

"So your cousin thinks your 'GYAT' is level 0?" I chortled.

"Shut UP!"

"F in chat, fam." I teased, "better hit the gym if you don't wanna get ratioed by that chud." I put on a nerdy voice as I held a finger to the bridge of my glasses,

"Jesus. Christ. Don't ever talk like that again," Lara guffawed, the petite punk climbing onto her bed, "I don't even know how my cousin does it."

"Does he seriously talk like that?"

"Oh yeah, side effect of being permanently online," Lara rolled her eyes. "Got suspended for a month for doxxing a girl at his school. You'd think that kind of thing would haunt you, but nope, Matthew will be richer than the entire family pretty soon."

"Dang," I sighed, shaking my head, sitting down in a violet bungee chair, a "Nightwish" poster hanging just above me.

Gyat +5, Gyat +10

"I like your earrings by the way," I commented to Lara.

"Oh thanks, got 'em at the flea market," she said, rolling over onto her exposed stomach, the twin hillocks of her perky rump straining against her skinny jeans. "Haven't had a chance to wear 'em yet, but figured tonight was as good as any."

"Is that the outfit you're wearing to the party?"

Gyat +20, Gyat +30, Sproink!

"Oof, uh, yeah I think so, though these jeans are starting to kill me, haha," Lara grit her teeth, the designer rips in her black Levi's digging into her pale thighs.

"I don't even know how you got those on!" I laughed. Though lacking curves in most places, Lara had a moderately sized bubble butt that stuck out comically from her otherwise waifish physique.

"You just gotta--ughh-- put them on laying down. Just pull them up most of the ways and zip 'em up like so." Sitting up on her knees, Lara pantomimed the process, leaning back, while I watched the waist of her skinny jeans cry for mercy.

"I don't think those fit anymore, girly pop."

"Nah, they're fine. They can make it one more night."

Gyat +40, Gyatt +50, Riiiiiiiiiiippp!

"As long as I...fuck me... don't use the bathroom, or ...jesus... move around too much," Lara winced and gasped, clutching her stomach where her pants were cutting off her circulation. While folding over across her bony front, her jeans were stretched to a pale gray semi circle in back, revealing the length of her butt crack squeezed between her big round cheeks. Where Lara got off wearing those painted-on pants across a literal shelf of ass, I have no idea, but from the looks of things they weren't long for this world. A non-designer tear had ripped down the center of her seat and was continuing to grow, exposing the whale tail of a lacy black thong as it too started to twist and unravel itself. Even it had only made it halfway up her ghetto dump truck.

"Lara, you can't wear those." I reprimanded, "you're ripping them in half!"

"Yeah...you're right, fuck...I don't what I was thinking," the plunger-shaped goth squirmed, trying in vain to undo her button and zipper, the skin of her thighs squeezing through her punctured jeans like sauce from ketchup packet. "Can you help me pull them down?"

"Coming," I sighed, climbing on the bed behind her to start yanking at her waist band. Gripping the denim with both hands, I could feel my knuckles digging into the round curves of her jiggly fanny, seeming to quiver on instinct ever inch I pulled her pants down.

Gyatt +60, GYATT +80, CrUNch!

Excuse me, I misspoke. I meant "pulled her pants up".

The twin watermelons that made up Lara's posterior shook and trembled like jello as I wedgied her in vain trying to coax the black jeggings she'd bought up and over her insanely fat glutes. Like a pair of beach balls, Lara's massive buttocks stuck out on either side of her body in a pair of perfect circles. The otherwise rail-thin girl was **** to walk through most doors sideways and was kept from wearing only the most baggy of sweat pants, lest her titanic tuchus be exposed.

"I'm sorry Lara, I think you just wear a dress," I said with one last heave, only managing to get the jeggings halfway up her slabs of cake, her extra frosted cinnamon rolls jiggling violently despite their size.

"Goddammit," Lara cursed, spinning around to sit back on her bed, her jeggings sliding down to about mid calf. Sitting down, her enormous butt cheeks squished into a doughy ring around her waist that was somehow large enough for her to rest her elbows on.

"I always look like a fucking tent in those things," Lara said, her bed groaning beneath her as she gestured angrily to a closet of pear-shaped dresses. This was usually our M.O. before each party, Lara trying and failing to put on some new bottoms, and me usually getting an unwanted eyeful of her naked badonkadonk with extra donk.

"You always look good in the suspenders," I tried lamely, but Lara just frowned, resting her buzzed head in hands. Her elbows on her swollen buttcheeks, she just let her twiggy legs kick in the air, just off the ground, her full bed starting to sag in the middle.

GYATT +90, GYATT +100!! Jabba the Hutt noises!

"This is such bullshit, you always spend Friday nights with me," Lara lamented, adjusting her oxygen tubes.

"I know, I know, I'm really sorry, I'll make it up to you," I said, grabbing her non-IV arm and squeezing. "Georgia said she'll even host another party after your surgery."

"Like that'll happen," the immobile girl spat. "The insurance company still hasn't approved it."

"Um, Lara, sorry to interrupt, but your vag is out."

"Oop sorry sorry," Lara said adjusting her hospital gown, "I just don't get why they keep thinking I'm asking for a butt reduction for COSMETIC PURPOSES! I mean look at me!"

I sighed and had to agree. Lara had officially grown the world's largest human female butt, a Guinness World record she was loath to maintain. Unable to walk and barely able to stand, she spent most of her days cooped up in her Dad's condo, a battalion of nurses coming in to clothe, feed , and exercise her while she lay in bed. Having somehow managed to keep her "girlish figure"--her words, not mine--Lara was still as skinny as a post aside from her distended rear that stretched the width of her hospital bed and spilled off the far side, her tiny vestigial legs hanging in the air just above it. Her truly absurd hindquarters weighed her down, like having two grown men in the fetal position attached to each of her haunches. And so like a bug trying to right itself , Lara pulled at her hospital gown, doing her best to cover her massive abdomen and hairless pussy, that a nurse, I suppose, had been kind enough to shave for her.

"I know Lara," I hung my head, "I know."

"Then stay!"

"I can't tonight," I apologized, over the oxygen machine and the room's many medical beeps and boops, "but hey you get me for like...85 minutes, why don't we make a Tiktok together or something?"

"Uh. Fiiiiiiine, I guess, have you..."

GYATT -10, GYATT -30, boing!

"... seen @jigglestar23?" Lara asked excitedly, bouncing up in bed.

"The girl who's always shaking her ass, aren't you two siblings?"

"Har, har but here, I've been practicing and I think I can do the move she does where she twerks her cheeks independently."

Since being approached by that skeevy model scout at the mall, Lara had been obsessed with trying to capitalize on her massive trunk. Laughing I readied my smartphone, as Lara quickly rolled out of bed and spread her legs, presenting me with a naked keister that could block out an entire plasma-screen TV.

Gyatt -40, Gyat -70, fwunk.

"I think it's all in the pants," I coached, watching my goth friend try to wiggle her pert butt, only eliciting a few minor quivers. "Like we all know you're packing heat, Lara, but I don't think--"

"No watch me, I had it," Lara declared, shaking her hips more aggressively to try replicate the online dancers. The view of her striped panties was charming, but watching the less than phat ass white girl gyrate was quickly becoming embarrassing.

Gyat -90, Gyat-100, pst.

Make that tragically humiliating. Lara was many things, but blessed with curves she was not. The flat expanse of her butt barely registered any movement as the pale girl shook her bony hips back and forth.

"Ooh look at me, I wanna be in your music video," Lara mewled, ironically.

"Point made," I sighed, observing more jiggle from the flesh around her tibias than her hips. "Now put on some pants."

"And that's why those big butt girls are fucking GROS--"

Gyat +25, Gyatt +50, GYATT +75, Boi-yoi-yoi-yoing

"--grown up and sophisticated," Lara smiled, the twin basketballs she was smuggling in her yoga pants, jiggling as she walked.

"Just tell me when to start shooting," I said pointing my camera phone at the curvy amateur.

She cocked her hip like a belly dancer, her whole right cheek rising to attention. Then my favorite big booty bitch started alternating her hips back and forth, each engorged buttcheek quivering in the reverb.

"Get it girl!" I cheered. My parents would completely disapprove if they knew friend was a budding mattress actress, but I didn't care.

Lara twirled in place, completing her rehearsal with her multi-inch coin slot presented to the camera.

"Just start recording...right... about..."

_GYATT +85, GYATT +100!! _"Koona t'chuta Solo"!

"NOW-OW-OW-OW-OwwwWWWW!"

I leapt to my feet, not sure how Lara had managed to get this far out of her hospital bed. The short-haired girl let out a screech, her knees buckling as she tumbled forward, her couch-sized cavity cushions collapsing on top of her. The twin boulders of flesh rolled over her, cracking Lara's back and sending snot shooting out of her nose. Then they rolled back, crashing against the wall, knocking a book shelf off its perch and sending a Chucky doll hurtling through the air before bouncing off Lara's inflated junk.

Racing to help her, I wrapped both arms around the pyramids of butt flesh, trying to steady her flapping cheeks before they could caused more damage, but...

Gyatt -40, GYATT +30, Gyat -60, GYATT +50, Gyat -70, GYATT +80, Gyat -90, etc., etc., etc.,

...I missed the mark and tumbled into Lara's flabby but contained ass that had caused my dancing friend to trip.

Laughing, I was suddenly clocked upside the head by the inhuman rump meat Lara always had to drag across the floor like a slug.

I fell to the ground, failing to steady myself on her hip but inadvertently landing face to face with Lara's tiny tush.

She tried to help me up, but only ended up suffocating me, trapping me between the wall and her prodigious round fender benders.

My head spinning like a boxer in a losing bout, I caught a glimpse of my proto-anorexic BF crawling on her hands and knees, before suddenly getting whiplash, face deep in the twin **** stars that made up Lara's planet-destroying derriere.

It went on like this for a while, me stuck in Schrodinger's girl butt. Lara's bottom somehow existing in a twilight space between ginormous and nonexistant. It wasn't until it returned to its normal shape, good and round and completely above average in size, did Lara's father come in to check on us.

"You girls alright in here, what was all that noise?" he asked paternally, before doing a double-take to stare at his daughter's ass. Mouth open, he was still holding his laptop in the crook of his arm.

"Muh frr guh guh guggle muff," Lara let out a few gurgles, lying face down on the floor, seemingly having fallen asleep halfway through getting dressed. A pair of elastic booty shorts had at least made it partly up her knees, but her wide buttocks was bare and splayed open for her laptop clicking father.

Gyatt +50, Gyatt +60

My head was still spinning a bit as I tried to answer his question. "I don't know what happened...something fell I think...while we were trying to put on clothes...I guess?" I scratched my temple and let out a wheeze, trying to remember a semblance of the events that had taken place while in Lara's room. "She was feeling sick, but got better, maybe?"

Mr. Rindquist didn't seem to be paying attention, just smiling to himself while watching his daughter's porn star butt undulate. He seemed to be confirming something on the laptop that made him chuckle, despite his exhausted daughter lying head down, ass up on her bedroom floor.

"Dude, that's your daughter," I said with slap to his shin, which seemed to pull him away from his lurid ogling.

"Oh uh sorry, yeah, guess she got pretty tired, huh?" Mr. Rindquist nodded, then turned to stare at me, that same hungry look still in his eyes. "We should probably just let her nap for a bit, you know."

I shrugged and stood up, but Mr. Rindquist followed.

"Um, can I get you something to drink while we wait in the kitchen, Camille?"

"Nah, I'm good," I said, un-pocketing my cellphone. About to leave, I paused to rub my cheek, a cloudy memory telling me it was aching, but all I could remember was Lara sticking out her gyat, for lack of a better word.

"Did Lara sit on my face?" I mumbled to myself, leaving my dozing big booty friend behind.