Stick To The Plan

"What happened to all three of us hanging out?" I asked Josie.

"Don't you want to get to know me better?"

"Absolutely. But we all promised we'd be a threesome."

"Yeah, I know. And we still can. But what if a girl wants a little side action? I’d love to have some Mike time."

“We can talk about that down the road,” I said. “But until then-”

"Hey, Mike!" I heard Sabrina's voice. "Looks like you passed the test!"

"Oh, hey, girl! What did I win?"

"An ménage à trois with two of the hottest girls you know!"

"And what would have happened if I'd failed?"

"You wouldn't be getting either of us."

"Well then! I think we should celebrate," I said.

"Tomorrow night?”

“Sure! What’s a fun thing to do before a threesome?”

“Mini golf?” Josie asked.

“Hitting little balls with sticks? No, it’s close… but not quite,” I said.

“I don’t know. Bowling? Alright, you choose.”

“Can’t go wrong with the classics. What do you think? Dinner and a movie?”

“With the three of us?” Sabrina asked. “Maybe skip dinner.”

“You are going to rob me of the experience of walking into a fancy restaurant with two beautiful ladies on my arms, dressed up and ready to paint the town red?”

“That sounds fun!” Josie said.

I heard Sabrina sigh. “Fine.”

“Alright, since there are three of us we’ll split up the choices. I chose the activities, Sabrina gets to pick the place for dinner, Josie picks the movie?”

“Switch!” Sabrina said. “I choose the movie!”

“And I choose… did someone mention Thai food?” Josie asked.

“Not fancy enough,” I said. “I want to show you off.”

“Fuck me! You both look gorgeous!” I said as I pulled up to Sabrina's house the next evening to find the girls standing out front.

“We know,” both girls said at once.

“I am one lucky bastard.”

“We know.”

“And you’re matching.”

“Yes.”

“Shit, are you doing the creepy twin thing now?”

“Yes.”

“Did you practice this?”

“Yes.”

“I’d like to say I’m annoyed. But honestly, it’s pretty damn hot.”

“Thank you,” Sabrina said with Josie parroting her a half second later.

“Alright,” I said as I went to open the back door of my car. “Now don’t you both sit in the back and make me your driver-”

They both got in the backseat.

“Dammit.”

Later that night we pulled up to my house.

“Thanks for dinner,” Josie said. “Giving us an excuse to dress up was a nice touch.”

“And the movie was a good idea to give us enough time to digest before this evening’s activities,” Sabrina added.

“Oh?” I said. “I suppose it was.”

I got out first and walked around to open the girl’s doors, starting with Josie in the front seat. She thanked me with a lingering kiss before I moved on to open Sabrina’s.

“Thank you, good sir,” Sabrina said before kissing me longer than her friend had.

“Hey, are your friends going to make fun of us for being all dressed up?” Josie interrupted us.

“Actually,” I said once I untangled from Sabrina’s grasp, “my friends aren’t always-”

“What the fuck!” a voice yelled behind us. “You can’t be serious!”

We all turned to face her, fearing we knew exactly who it was.

“Hey, backstabbers!” my ex-girlfriend Jasmine shouted as she stormed across the street.

The anger in her eyes made my chest freeze. I caught Josie’s eye and could tell she was even more scared than I was. I had no idea what to do next.

Thankfully, Sabrina did.

“Hey, Babe!” the blonde said as she posed like a runway model. “We wanted an excuse to try out these bridesmaid dresses. Sorry, we would have invited you to join us, but we figured you wouldn't want to see Mike for a while.”

Jasmine stopped in the middle of the street. “I just saw you kiss him.”

“It’s the least we could do after he took us out to a nice dinner! We had a great evening, and we were able to cheer him up a little. He’s still not over you.”

“You kissed him!”

“Face it, you kind of treated him like shit. And we felt bad for him, so we double teamed him. You were right, he has a big dick, and now I know firsthand why you were always sore after," Sabrina continued. "But we already told you this. What’s your point?”

“ARE YOU SERIOUS?”

“Of course I am,” Sabrina said as she turned to face me. “Hey, you know what would really help him get over you? Angry sex. Want to come inside?”

“I’m the one trying to get over him! But I can’t, because he won’t talk to me! I’ve called, I’ve messaged him on everything from Instagram to LinkedIn, but all he does is block me,” Jasmine said.

She turned to face me, waiting for a reaction. I didn’t give one.

“Is that it?” she asked. “You really have nothing to say to me?”

I stared at her blankly. Two months was not nearly enough to get past the girl I’d dated for two years. A full spectrum of emotions flooded me, but I still couldn’t piece together a sentence that wasn’t filled with bitterness.

I took a breath.

“I loved you,” I said. “But you cheated on me with my roommate, and it crushed me.”

“I didn't! We never-”

“The only thing I have to say to you that isn’t meant to cut you as deeply as you hurt me is this right here. Goodbye, Jasmine. I wish you the best, and hope you have a good life. And now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go upstairs and fuck your two best friends. Again.”

With that, I turned around and walked off.