Startup 47: Strategic Pivot

Rova 6, Early Evening

“I don’t know who the hell you are,” I said to the obvious leader of the goblins, “and I don’t really care. If you leave, this can end right now.” Opposed Intimidate 4+12+4(larger size)=20 Fail)

The goblins responded by reloading.

Of fucking course that didn’t work. I only flash froze half their crew and fell from the sky. Why would they be intimidated by little old me?

I stood over Sosima in a frozen moment, giving myself time to take in the scene. Sosima was downed, partially due to my own spell. Nonlethal damage or not, I’d functionally knocked her out along with the enemy front line. That left me versus twenty goblins, one of which was a small green Gaston cosplayer and the rest of which were holding firearms.

There was a small chance that I could have knocked them all out with another well placed explosive orb, but I didn’t have quite that much faith in my own damage output or Autopilot’s ability to dodge bullets. If they had been humans, a nice bubble of darkness would have been absolutely perfect to give me some breathing room, but darkvision made that approach useless.

When you’re outnumbered, the chaos is your friend. Alright, let’s dance.

I dove to the side, leaving behind my shadow puppet to charge the enemy lines. A hail of bullets tore through my simulacrum, dispersing it into black mist in an instant.

They were single barrel shotguns, so I knew that I’d have one round for reloading before they could fire another volley like that. That was my one opportunity to thin their numbers. I thrust out one hand, chilling the air around the goblins. The rain soaking their clothes froze in an instant, immobilizing many. A few instantly blacked out, falling to the deck and shattering their clothes.

The ones I didn’t catch in my Freezing Orb had other things to deal with, as the Ekekeh and Filli arrived on deck. She dismounted and swung her club like a golfer, sweeping the weapon through the goblins that hardly came up to her knees. The lucky ones went flying; the ones who had braced themselves to block crumpled to the deck with their limbs bent unnaturally.

The Ekekeh behind her flared to life the moment he didn’t have passengers, glowing with arcing electricity between its metallic dorsal horns. That was, unfortunately, a mistake. Filli was a looming presence in their midst, but bright light still drew the eye. Half the goblins unleashed their panic fire upon the flying lightning dolphin, taking big chunks out of its hide. I unsummoned it instantly, hoping against hope that would save the poor guy’s life. Unfortunately, that was Autopilot’s entire turn.

We’ve got another round.

I tried to pick up a gun from a fallen goblin, since my revolver was safe, dry, and out of ammo in my extraplanar storage, but the guard on the trigger was too small for me to stick my finger through. Given that I had thoroughly lost my sea legs and the ship was bucking in the rainstorm, it was probably for the best. Lacking firearms, I decided to instead pull off my jellyfish and toss it directly at the nearest goblin. He panicked and fell to the ground wrestling the nearly harmless creature, so it was something.

Filli had been shot too, but seemed entirely unconcerned with the development even as blood flowed down her arm. Bullets clattered against the deck, pushed out of her unnaturally enhanced body as she healed rapidly. She barreled into the middle of the goblins, knocking them aside with brute strength. At one point I clearly saw her grab one by the leg and use him to strike one of his neighbors.

“Lafloo, we are leaving.” The tall goblin said to his cringing shadow.

The two of them winked out of existence with a pop, along with four of the nearest goblins. The rest of the goblins didn’t last long at that point. They had guns, which made them dangerous, but they didn’t have the defensive chops to take a full powered ice blast to the chin. Looking at Filli, who swung them around with casual ease, I had an epiphany.

They probably took a hit about as well as any normal person could. Autopilot said most people hit a wall unless they start supplementing with some kind of magic. Normal people stop fighting when the Hulk spikes them like a football.

I didn’t dwell on the thought; once I was fairly sure I wouldn’t get shot in the spine as a welcome home present, I rushed to Sosima’s side. I wiped away an achievement update. Infernal Healing was slow for a healing spell, but it did the trick. A few moments after the spell began doing its work, her luminous yellow eyes opened.

“Emrys?” She asked, genuine shock evident in her tone, “What are you doing here?”

“I thought I might introduce you to a new friend of mine.” I said, jerking a thumb at Filli. “She’s not good with crowds, so I thought one on one would make a better impression. Are there any other dangers I need to know about?”

“None but the goblins, I think.” She said, “How did you get here? Where is that fish?”

“I really don’t want to tell the story more than once.” I said, “let’s wait until we get back.”

I ran over to cast Infernal Healing on Filli as well, but it was unnecessary. She cringed away from my attempt to inject Infernal quintessence into her bloodstream, and when I looked closer her skin was covered in scar tissue but otherwise unbroken. That threw me off; I was used to knowing exactly what my allies were capable of from their stat sheets.

With the most important issues addressed, I looked into the sky and hummed. I chose the wind as my target, calming it. The rain wasn’t really all that bad if the wind stopped churning the seas.

I looked around the deck, covered in frostbitten and **** goblins, and some of the last few weeks’ tension escaped me in a nervous laugh.

Honey, I’m home.

••••••••••

I would have loved to go back to the Enterprise immediately, but there was work to be done. I hadn’t actually killed any of the goblins with my frost blasts. This was partly because I had no idea what was going on, partly because of Sosima being in the initial blast area, and partly because of a pale half elf’s face haunting my memories. Filli and Sosima hadn’t had any similar reservations, and I might have accidentally killed a few who were already downed, but there were still around forty **** goblins on deck. Naturally, I just tied them up. It was a ship; there was quite a lot of rope available.

I sent Ve’ra across the waters to herald my return, and to dredge up the weresharks I apparently had on staff now. I wasn’t done with tying up the goblins before Varossa, Hinson, and about a dozen of the recruits I’d picked up in Port Peril climbed up the side of the ship.

Sosima didn’t miss a beat, immediately backhanding a woman I recognized as Lubo, her maid. I heard an audible crack, and the pretty black fish girl fell to the ground in a heap. I blinked in shock, but the pieces clicked together quickly.

I’m gonna need to get the whole story out of her as soon as possible, but right now is not the time to start running my mouth. If she is overreacting I can do some kind of disciplinary action later.

“You listen to my orders.” Sosima growled, “Remember where I found you.”

She didn’t kick Lubo while she was down, which would have merited a response no matter what her reasons were, and instead looked at Varossa briefly. Sosima was clearly angry at her, but did not think corporal punishment appropriate for someone that was not her direct subordinate. (Sense Motive 16+10+2=28)

Thanks, Autopilot. I am not so great at reading people without the face. I think I can step in without undermining Sosima too badly now.

I clapped my hands once.

“Hey, that comes later.” I said, “We’ve got quite a few people to restrain and confine, and a whole ship to secure. You two, make sure the sails are in order. Varossa, Creed, Filli; sweep the hold for any more resistance. Sosima, explain the situation. I see now that it can’t wait.”

Sosima filled me in on the last day or so. She explained that Gobron was apparently one of Rowe’s many stalkers, the tactical situation that led to this ****, and exactly how she’d ended up alone against fifty goblins. Lubo had directly defied her orders and overextended the squad, leading to two allied deaths, almost three including her.

I looked over at Lubo, who was leaning against the railing with a smile on her face, then at the corpses of my crew. I knew that the two guys would probably return within a few hours as Gillmen, but I didn’t miss that Sosima was as upset as if they’d been permanently killed. I filed away that information. I knew she had some kind of mystic NDA, but I hadn’t fully considered the implications. In my defense, I had a lot on my plate.

I think the Vishgurv thing might be worse than I thought. Note to self; consider Gillman reincarnation a last resort, not a one-up.

“Emrys?” I heard, barely audible over the rain.

I turned around and saw Syl, her white eyes wide dark hair plastered to her head by the rain. She had her silver dagger in one hand, mouth slightly open. I smiled back at her.

“Hey, Syl.” I said, going in for a hug. I backpedaled as Narwhal hauled himself over the side of the railing, swinging an axe. It suddenly jerked out of his hands and floated in the air nearby.

“Ease up, you wanker.” Ve’ra said, holding the axe’s shadow out of Narwhal’s reach. “I told you it was Emrys. Did you really think bloody goblins sent a living shadow to lure you into a trap?”

“Watch yourself, Narwhal!” Rosie said, smacking the dwarf on the back of the head with her shriveled arm. “What if you’d hurt him? Hey, Captain. Glad to see you back.”

A few more members of my crew, with Rowe in the rear, clambered up over the railing, far more relaxed than Narwhal. They took in the pile of hogtied goblins, mostly without visible injuries, heaped in the corner. Several minutes of warm rain had washed away the layer of ice, leaving no real explanation of how I'd managed the whole operation.

Throughout, Syl stared at me. I made a second attempt at a hug, and she responded in kind. She wrapped her arms around me tight, squeezing with all the strength she had. To be perfectly frank, I wish she had remembered to sheathe her dagger first.

“Don’t do that again, you jackass.” She said into my shoulder, “We needed you.”

She shuddered, letting out sobs too quiet for anyone else to hear. Her slightly venomous tears tingled against my skin. I held her, and trusted Sosima to direct the crew.

“Sorry.” I said, “For what it’s worth, it worked.”

“It better have.” She said, her voice ragged, “If you put me through all that worrying and you came back with nothing, I might have ended you myself.”

“Trust the plan.” I said. “Oh, and I’ve been working on the finances, too. I think I might be able to make this work.”

She pulled back and tried to wipe at her eyes with her soaked sleeve. It didn’t really work, but it had the intended result of centering her regardless. She shook her head and set her face into a firmly neutral expression.

“Well today was fairly profitable, at least.” She said, looking around. “We lost a few, though.”

I took a deep breath.

“Well then.” I said, “I’ll need to do something about that.”

••••••••••

“Damn it Emrys!” Syl groaned. “Be reasonable!”

“It is a lawful prize.” Sosima added, “They even initiated the attack. We are entitled to the ship as well as its cargo.”

The tender moment had not lasted long once we retired to Gobron’s cabin and started discussing what to do next. They had not liked my plan to air drop our dead to Jerry and have him resurrect them on my tab, since there was a meaningful chance we’d never see them again and it would run us hundreds of gold. They accepted it once I pointed out that Jerry probably wouldn’t hand me tens of thousands of gold no matter how many corpses I sent him.

That wasn’t too big a deal. No, we’d run into a disagreement about what, or who, counted as spoils of war.

“People aren’t cargo!” I groaned, knowing how ridiculous I sounded to these people. “I’m not going to be a slaver.”

It’s easy to forget in the modern day just how common slavery was for most of history. It wasn’t until that day, however, that I realized that more than half of the women in my party earnestly saw no problem with it. Apparently both Rahadoum and Cheliax were fairly comfortable with the practice.

To be fair I probably should have called this one for Cheliax. A Devil worshipping empire using slaves is very on brand.

“Then what do you intend to do with the goblins?” Syl demanded. “Kill them all? Strand them on the Dahak Isles to be hunted by dragons? You know that would be just as bad. The women in the hold weren’t even combatants.”

“Ransoming them might work?” Sosima said doubtfully. “Assuming we can find out where their clan is. Of course, then we will need to feed them until we can secure payment. It’s unlikely to be the most profitable use of our time.”

The worst part was, of course, that I legitimately didn’t have any better ideas. There was no cost effective way of disposing of all of the goblins that didn’t involve killing them, enslaving them, or effectively outsourcing their **** or enslavement by tossing them onto a random beach to fend for themselves.

Actually, no, the worst part is that I fully intend to sell the corpses to Jerry, but selling the living goblins to a slaver still feels like crossing a line. They tried to kill my friends, damn it, and I’m strapped for cash.

“Look, I’m legally a ****.” I tried. “Being a **** sucks, and it gets so much worse than I had it. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy. Literally, in this case.”

“Then what. Do. We. Do?” Syl asked, emphasizing each word. “We can see if any of them are willing to sign on if it makes you feel better? You can still ferret out the ones who have bad intentions, right? We’ll need more crew to get this ship back to port anyway.”

“Great idea, but for one thing that’s not a perfect system.” I said, looking directly at Sosima. “I’m pretty sure it just means they have good intentions in the moment. New information or conflicting loyalties can change that. Don’t you think that’s something we should consider?”

Sosima’s eyes widened. I didn’t think she could say anything bad about Vishgurv directly, but I knew she could hint at it.

“Yes.” She agreed after a few moments of thought. “They might ignore orders in a battle with Gobron, for example. We can’t trust anyone who would do that.”

“Agreed,” I said, “I do like the suggestion, but it’s not like we can let them move around unsupervised. As for the rest of the goblins, we can just keep them confined to their quarters.”

“They are goblins, Emrys!” Syl said, “Think about Rowe. Do you really think someone from her culture would avoid a mutiny just because they’d probably lose?”

We kept arguing for around twenty minutes before Rowe, who had been waiting in the doorway listening, chimed in.

“Ask Goblins.” She said.

All three of us turned to look at her.

“Elaborate.” Said Sosima, seconds before I could.

“Look at goblin,” Rowe said, rolling her eyes and speaking as if to a toddler, “Ask ‘****?’ If no, ‘Crew?’ If no, ‘****?’ If no, ‘Dragon Beach?’ If no, ‘Ransom?’ If no, ‘Reconsider, or scary lady chooses.”

It wasn’t a perfect solution, but it felt a lot better than wholesale slaughter or slavery. Over the next few hours, while Sosima inventoried the cargo, Syl and Sandara kept the ships floating, Rowe inspected Gobron’s ship, and Cog performed last rites on the enemies' fallen, I managed HR.

A few, mostly officers, were able to promise a ransom if I could get them to Slipcove. I had no intention of going to Slipcove, but I could send a letter via devilgram. It was close enough to my next destination, Cog’s hometown of Quent, to be workable.

Only one goblin agreed to exile, and he switched to slavery when he realized he’d be going alone. I was honestly surprised by how many of them went for slavery, and shocked that four of them demanded an honorable **** on the spot. Those ones went to Cog; as a Pharasmite, he seemed like the best choice to handle the job of executioner with proper respect.

To my disappointment, not a single one of the male goblins made the cut when I asked if they wanted to join the crew. Very few of them even pretended to want in, and my menu wouldn’t let me recruit them as followers when they did. Since there were so few, I decided to let them work until we got to the next port anyway. We needed the hands, and I could assign them to always work near people that would keep an eye on them.

The goblin girls were a different story. There had been ten of them in the galley, and most of them had immediately and sincerely agreed to join the crew. The two exceptions requested slavery, on the condition I sell them to good goblin boys that would properly marry them. I didn’t even want to think through the mindset that would choose being a **** bride over a free woman, but it seemed like a reasonable stipulation so I agreed.

Only three of them reacted the way I expected using Rowe as my standard, which is to say “actually considering themselves full members of the crew once freed.” The remainder, mostly older and more heavyset, passively accepted the “change of ownership” and responded to my intent to pay them with delighted laughter. I found out later that two of them ended up requesting rope so they could be properly secured to their work stations. They looked askance at the three wild children that shadowed Rowe as their new role model.

Fucking goblins.

I worked my way through all of my new recruits, stopping frequently to chat with my crew. Unsurprisingly, quite a few people wanted to welcome me back. The jolly boat ferried people between the two ships, carrying a message from Sandara that she was going to bed and expected to see me in the morning. Syl seemed surprised at how smoothly it all went. Everyone seemed to be working far more efficiently all of a sudden.

I smiled at her once she was alone with me in Gobron’s quarters, and provided an explanation.

“I picked up a few things from my special friend while I was out.” I said, tapping on my temple. “And remember the achievements? One of them comes from taking ships; we agreed I wasn’t going to be able to realistically double up on that one.”

“Oh right, what kind of powers did that one give again?” Syl asked, collapsing onto Gobron’s bed. For some reason it was almost as big as my bed.

“Financial perks.” I said, “The first one I got was the ability I use for hiring.”

She sat up and looked at me, her white eyes wide.

“Financial? Why didn’t you bring this up?” She said, “We need to integrate this into our plans. How many ships do you need to take for the next one? How big do they need to be? Does buying them count? How about resale?”

I waved a hand.

“Another day, and it’s too risky to test that kind of thing right now. If we get the chance, sure, but I don’t want to piss off a pirate lord by attacking someone who doesn’t come after me first.” I said. “We’ve got a dragon to deal with and a treasure to find, and along the way I have a few commissions to work on. Anyway, they seem more tuned towards helping to oil the gears than actually getting me any money. This new one is called Worthy Crew; it looks like it makes all of my subordinates really good at sailing.”

Technically, it gave everyone one skill point in Profession: Sailor per level. For my main party that meant that everyone would be almost as good at sailing as Sandara, and Sandara had more skill points to invest into a random smattering of other skills. My followers scaled to half my level in the Commoner class, which has no class features and the worst core stats of any class, but even they would be boosted to the level of veteran sailors the moment I added them to my extended party.

We can give you skills, what we are looking for is someone who can fit into our company culture.

I smiled, and filled Syl in on the situation. I told her what happened to me, and what I got out of it. She told me about the problems that had arisen among the crew while I was gone. She rested her head on my shoulder while I told her about the few new allies I’d made, possible revenue streams, and potential problems I could foresee. We did the math for best and worst case scenarios, briefly basking in the ridiculous dream that Yael would be a good enough saleswoman to pay off my debt without any further risk on our part.

Sosima poked her head in to tell me she was done doing inventory and was headed to bed. I told her to get some sleep, and that I’d meet with her in the morning. She seemed disappointed, but I wasn’t done with Syl. I’d make it up to her later.

We sat together while we talked, pressed against one another. At some point I cast Keep Watch on the both of us so we could keep talking. There was work to be done, there was always work to be done, but it was work I wanted to do.

••••••••••

Six goblins were crammed together in a gigantic swan. The boat was sized for up to six humans, and to the goblins it was downright spacious, except that Gobron demanded breathing room. Lafloo slept in the back, recovering his energy. Repeated teleportation was hard on the poor lad.

Gobron stood, one foot resting on his seat, as his handpicked crew members operated his backup craft. The feather token he saved for such occasions had created a majestic ship in the shape of a glorious waterfowl, propelled by an underwater propeller. It was, of course, a bit small and slow, but for a ship he could fit in his pants when he wasn’t using it, it was incredible.

“Pedal faster, men!” He ordered, “To Dragonsthrall!”

“Yes, Gobron!”

Two of his subordinates pumped their arms to activate the pedals, sized for Longshanks legs, while two more constantly bailed out the rainwater. It was a constant battle to keep the swan afloat, and Gobron bravely observed them and provided constructive criticism about their technique. He also occasionally checked their heading with his compass, but they were moving in generally the correct direction.

Clever, M’Dair. I didn’t expect you to hide for nearly a full day before revealing yourself. I have no idea why you did that, but it worked, so I’m **** to assume it was tactical genius.

He wasn’t sure who Pearlteeth was. For a time he’d thought that it might be Captain M’Dair, but then he saw him. Impossible; the man was hideous. Tall and twig thin? It was amazing he could even convince longshanks women to sleep with him, let alone merit ****.

Maybe the tall, muscular one who could shrug off bullets? Women are into that kind of thing, right?

He hadn’t seen any other males impressive enough to merit consideration. Gobron shook his head ruefully, wondering if any of the brutes had even considering dragging Crowe away by her hair. Romance really was dead.

He tried to figure out what he did wrong for nearly ten minutes before deciding that it was his war chanters’ fault. Of course, they were all dead except for Lafloo, so there was no point in complaining. He just needed to be certain that his own record was still perfect. It was.

“You caught me off guard, M’Dair,” he said to himself, “So I suppose we must call this battle a draw. I look forward to destroying you in the rematch.”

Gobron and his crew of 4 goblins slowly drifted away into the night, to the sound of squeaking metal pedals.