Start Your Engines!

“Okay folks, calm down calm down.” Sky cooed, and waved her hands about. She watched with a great deal of satisfaction as the contestants obediently descended on their chairs. “We’re about to get started so let me give you the lay of the land.”

The screen behind her lit up with a map of Illinois. It had a redline that snaked from Chicago over to Saint Louis in the south. There were several distinct paths that snakes in and out of the main section.

“The mother road! Welcome to the first leg ya’ll. Chicago to Saint Louis that’s three hundred miles! If you leave soon, you’ll get to the hotel by night fall!”

Matt revved his bike.

“Hold on there tiger, I got a few things to say.” She grinned. “Have you been on your best behavior? You better be because the audience wasn’t just drawing crosshairs on your private parts. These folks have been watching you, judging and picking favorites. So they’re going to be sending aid to you along the way.”

“I’m giving all the money to charity!” Gwendolyn announced, confidently smiling at the camera.

“Nice try.” Sky smirked. “But there’s no cash prize. Only that tasty tasty wish, and of course the hand of the lovely Laura in eternal bliss.”

Jacob stopped himself from gagging. He looked over at the biker. “How do you think you’re doing in the popularity department.”

Matt deadpanned a thumbs up, which Jacob thought showed a bit of charm.

He looked to the rest of the players. Could go any way. If the audience wanted them all to be women, maybe Chance and the twins had a good shot. The might be mad that he, Matt and Horacio were spared. In the same breath maybe that meant Gwendolyn and Lana were popular. Lana was a porn star, though somehow Gwendolyn seemed to be the more perverted of the two.

“I guess we’ll find out.”

Chance raised a hand, now feminine and tipped with rhinestone nails. “What are we doing for cars?”

Sky grinned. “That’s where the fun is. Your ride can be anything! Ya just gotta get behind the wheel, or convince the driver to let you hitchhike.”

“Wait…” Derrick looked up. “You’re not getting us rides, we have to…”

“Steal.” His brother-sister scoffed.

“Or bargain,” Lana added. She saw the angle the sex show was going for. Blowing truckers at gas stations for a ride.

“Yes sir.” Sky said proudly. “But don’t worry, you’re beyond the reach of mortal law. No need to fear the fuzz on this getaway, Bandit the coast in clear.”

“I guess we should be thankful for that.” Jacob looked around, already trying to find a car to Jack. There was no shortage at the show.

“Now the way it works.” Sky said “is the first three to get to the arch wins first place. They get a reward and a head start on the next leg. The next two get a neutral transformation and no head start. The two after that get punishments and start at the back of the pack for the next leg.”

“And last place gets eliminated.” Laura said solemnly. “Which means a total transformation.” She’d done enough of these comics to know the ending.

“Right you are.” Sky winked.

“So what will I be doing?”

“Yer with me darlin’!” Sky yehaaawed. “Hosting, scheming, figuring out how to bend these eight to your will!”

Laura shook her head. “I am so sorry about this guys!”

“Oh hush.” Sky gave her a playful swat and wrapped her arm around the mistress. “So how we doin’ everybody? Rules clear as mud?”

Chance was pinching the bridge of his nose. “I have about a million questions, and I need to get into contact with my tailor.”

“No time for that I’m afraid!” Sky whopped and threw her cowboy hat into the air. Her braids came free and she shook them loose, making everything jiggle in a very kinetic way. “Because this raceis starting in 10!”

Everyone leaped to attention as a surge of energy coursed through them. Despite the sudden fire in their veins, they couldn't remove butts from chairs. The muscle cars in the audience revved their engines.

9

Matt joined in, feeling pretty confident about his chances. He gave the rest a pitying look, severely dampened by the bunny ears on his head.

8

Jacob got ready to launch himself. He was grabbing Laura and getting out of her Sky be damned. Time to make this body for a test drive.

7

Horacio licked his lips and eyed an orange muscle car out in the audience. It looked like the one his uncle drove around. It was calling to him. Unbidden his mind kept repeating the internet maxim ‘be gay do crimes, be gay, do crimes.’

6

Gwendolyn was sat back in her chair, legs crossed. Scrambling was a sweaty and poor affair and she had no intention of engaging. She’d let her competition jump about and them she’d calmly stride to victory. Until then she dreamed of what a bimbo’s reward might be.

5

Lana vaguely wondered if she could grab two street posts and slingshot herself towards Saint Louis. That was cartoony right? She wasn’t liking her chances all she had to her name was an oversized t-shirt and a zipper mask. Surely victories had been built on less, right?

4

Chance would have to skip the the tailor. He rolled up the cuffs of his pants. The steps of his plan were already laid out. Get an Uber to his garage, grab the Tesla, and burn rubber.

3

The twins didn’t know it yet, but they were planning on going in seperate directions. Once the bell rung their handcuffs would release and they’d go in opposite directions. Sky just loved having conflict right at the start.

2

Abendigo was eager to see what the sluttification field could do. Chicago better look out. Though there was a kind of dread that was leaking into his existence. You get transformed if you lose, that’s usually the end of the three panel comic. If he got that in real life… was that ****?

1

Hearts pumped, engines roar. Sanity gripped and clawed at the edges of their old reality begging not to be set free.

Then with a single world Sky pushed them all over into the deep dark insanity that was her world.

“Go!”

——-

Go ahead and leave the name of the contestant you’ll be helping out on this stretch of the road.