Standalone Stat-Sheet and Inventory Sheet Cec

Okay here goes, the first of 4 lets see if I manage to do all of them in one evening, while all the while doing a bit for university. I will - as you will see with this stat sheet - change a bit about the stats themselves so to better reflect how I really use them or supposedly use them *evil laugh* since none of you can prove what I really do (oh how I hope I don't randomly know one of you out there) and also the changes will have a timey wimey effect that I will try to incorporate sometime in the near future in the existing stat sheets, or some such, or not depends on how bored I get, and YES this shit is fucking long so yes, my jokes might get a bit weak at the end, but as you know already I ain't sorry for shit like that

So a short intro about the new Stat-System: at the start a char gets a D6 throw for his or her stats, at each level the char gets a pool of 2 points to stuff into the vital statistics, why 2 you might ask, well because fuck you thats why, and can randomly add them to those stats, which then in turn control the development of the deprived stats and also it is not definitive yet so watch out for more changerions

###CHARACTER-SHEET###

Name: Cecilia Luxor (uhhh, did you like, think, that her name was really Cec? I mean come on I am not that lazy, you bastards)

Race: Human (Well, yes she is a stupid, we already established: Human equals Stupid, so no I am not going to stop this)

Class: Wizard (Focus: Healer) (You know I thought about gendering this, but then I rememberd that men are supposed to be evil and pigs and so I thought you know what make someones day by reinforcing that believe - wait this is the wrong website for that right?)

Level: 15 (she did git gud, or something along those lines)

###VITAL STATISTICS### (So ever since I cut off my hand because of that stupid question of mine, writing and masturbating together is kind of hard, well the shit people do for science)

• STR: 5 (So there are two reasons she is weak, first off she is a healer, second off the new numbers are supposd to be low, third, well third, I don't know sorry)
• DEX: 5 (So she is weak and has low stamina, might be the reason for her cuming so fast, although thinking about it, did she already cum, well shit I can't even remember what I wrote myself, dementia is starting)
• CON: 5 (Or is this one the one with the stamina, I can't really remember to be honest, as I said dementia)
• APP: 8 (I actually thought of fucking with you and putting in a bigger number here - because be honest guys cute faces deserve getting cumed on, erm I mean getting cheats, fuck no that one dosen't even make sense as a typo)
• CHA: 10 (Again, female, cute face, rapeworthy, and that not just because I am still salty that I don't have the number of that chick at my exam, oh what I would give to be able to facefuck her once, maybe my second hand?)
• WIS: 11 (She is a human so this should definetly be lower, but alas what do I know, I am just a typist with too much time on his hands, well hand nowadays)
• INT: 10 (She wasn't the fastest to catch on to your trick was she, so maybe this explains the lowlessness, is that even a word?)

###DERIVED STATISTICS### (Well, well, well, so you are still reading these, I won't judge you, who am I kidding of course I am judging you, you perv, I mean come on you really can't be regular pervs if you get a kick out of reading some guys ramblings about things that never matter in the first place anyway)

• HP: 30 (Base + STR + DEX + CON) (So short explanation: Base is race-based and also class-based - and I will write nowhere what that amount is *evil laugh*, I will only make this explanation for this one here, but you can guess that it is the same for all the other stats)
• MP: 41 (Base + WIS + CHA) (So you know haveing the higher numbers before in the statsheets kind off sucks now because I am not sure about the lower ones feeling that right, but well, you are here for the jokes and for the porn and for the ****, seriously guys and girls with all the **** going on on this page I hope that you all have sisters and brothers)
• MV: 25 (Base+CON+DEX+INT) (So I am still not sure in which units I should massure this, like should I go with Lightyears or better with milimeters or with feet or with ohm, I mean I could always go with kilogramm or pounds?)
• SS: 7928399488 (YES, the fuck with number has a fuck with amount in it, and no I didn't hit a few random buttons and pressed enter, well okay I did, but, but, I, okay I give up no talking myself out of this one, I will think of something for this number pinky promise *crosses fingers behind back*)
• LR: 27 (Base+WIS+Level) (Okay Base here is always 1, logically, factually - again is that even a word - it is a stuffy-thingy I don't really use and more or less think of as a amount of stuffs a thing knows about stuffs that it should know and it knows that stuffings rather well, as it is knowledgeable in the stuffs it knows - okay I stop, I go back clean)
• AG: 15 (Base+DEX+CON) (So I mean she can't do acrobatics but she can still pretty much fuck you pretty good, which has nothing to do with what I just wrote, but yeah, I thought of that)
• PC: 41 (Base+WIS+INT+CHA) (So PC here means Perception, not Player Character, for all you slowpokes out there, and also this is more or less more a "number" for me personally like the distance a character can look, and only gets importance with other variables)

###Race Abilities### (So you know the thing is, should humans even have racial abilties, well except for being able to think of new warcrimes, being the dominant **** in every RPG ever, being able to fight over religious beliefs like no other race, you know how we do with star trek and star wars, religious nuts I tell you)

• Adaptable: Character has half the malus from the "Heat" and "Cold" modifiers. (So you know I always am kind of confused why humans are so very few times praised for our only quality)
• Human-Realm: If Character is caught for a crime against a non-human-NPC or PC in a Human-controlled territory half the usual time spent in prison area or half the usual amount of fine to pay (So, I just kind of made all humans in this world or well my variant of the world into racists, well I guess nothing new for half of the US, sorry couldn't help myself)
• Female-Human: If Character is in PC of straight or lesbian NPC or PC get an +2 CHA towards that Character (Had to add this, why, because well, yeah I can't talk to woman, rapeing them, **** them is all good, but talking to them? I mean do you know how awkward it is to tell a woman you love her when she is bound in a cellar and you are surrounded by cops, no, well shit one weird fact about me again i guess)

###Class Abilities### (So does what I write count as dadjokes or even is it worse, because if yes I might have a really big, like terribly big family somewhere I know nothing about and I am not ready to give up **** for **** just yet)

• Wizard: Doubles Base Amount of Mana, if character is caught for a crime in dwarven controlled territory double the usual time spent in prison area or double the usual amount of fine to pay, double damage from physical damage (So racial tensions, I should stop reading all those texts about racism they really fuck up my brain, but alas at least something to give me Ideas since Richelle Mead won't finish her next book, *grml*)
• Healer-Focus: Healing-Spells cost half the Usual amount of MP, If character is in PC of holy NPC or PC these characters get the "sight of helpfullness buff" (Yeah, healers are really helpfull, aren't they, so why the fuck do the dpses never LIKE FUCKING NEVER attack the healers and leave it to the tank to try and get them? You know who you are you fuckers)

###Spells### (Fun-fact: Abrakadabra comes from the catholic church, the normal peasant folk guys were to stupid to understand what the guy at the front was saying - because they didn't understand latin - so they thought themselves funny when they said this sounds just like 'abrakadabra' so once again the church is at fault for something)

• Heal: Heal a target NPC or PC for [Mana-Spent], only works on non-corrupted Characters (So, I kind of think you all guessd this one would be in here, I thougth about not writing it, but alas, can't dissapoint the sex-hungry mob)
• Increase Damage: Target NPC or PC increases DMG for [Mana-spent], only works on non-corrupted Characters, only works on non-corrupted Weapons (I know non-corrupted, wait for the modifiers children, so impatient, god damn)
• Restore: Target a PC with a Debuff to remove said Debuff, Mana cost depends on Debuff (So no, I won't make a compilition about what a debuff costs, why, well this page is getting full already so no, I have a image as a lazy bastard to keep - and that is also why there are no more spells in here)

###Modifiers### (Here we go, mario!)

• Shadow-Corruption: Your Character is in a group with a Shadow-Creature. Reduces APP by 5, Reduces CHA by 5, Increases MP by 10, Character becomes 'Corrupted'. Double Damage from Holy Attacks, Double Damage from Holy Weapons, Healed by Shadow Magic, Healed by Shadow Weapons (Well, this was a given, I mean come on, remember peeps we corrupted her, holy hell are you the demented ones or am I?)
• Corrupted: Your Character is attacked by HOLY NPCs if face is in appearance in PC, Your Character is attacked by NOBLE NPCs if face is in appearance in PC, NOBLE and HOLY Player Characters get the 'Something-Evil-Modifier' if face is in appearance in PC (Should I even write these, I mean, really, these were given things and I am clearly running out of jokes here)
• Shadowbound: Your Character offered submission to a Shadowcreature, That precise Shadowcreature gets CHA+Character CHA, WIS+Character CHA, also Your Character is unable to harm said Creature, as well as will protect said Creature (I still think this is just fucking OP, I mean really come on, which character has that power?)
• Turncloak: Your Character has become Corrupted, because of that your heals are now only for Corrupted Characters and do damage to HOLY or NOBLE Characters, dosen't count towards Healingboni from armor or weapons (Yeah, I know, forgot this one, am I sorry, nope never was never will be, never going to be!)
• Aroused: Your character was clearly affected by something: Reduces CHA by 5, Increases APP by 5, Reduces WIS by 5 (So she is wet, from being bound, I clearly have an unhealthy fetish for bondage, another fetish I should get checked out next to ****)

SO i know it said Inventory sheet, but heck even I can't write that much in one sitting, so I will add one more chapter tomorrow in here and then you can look at these too, so bye till the next time you glorious sexaddicts